Is there a chance to be more than friends with benefits?

After a bad breakup and in the verge of moving to another country, I decided to have some casual sex before moving from city. So I met a guy on tinder.
First date we met in a bar, second at his place and third also at his place having sex, talking and laughing and watching our favorite tv shows.

Now the thing is I think I’m already catching feelings for him. And I no longer will leave the city (not because of him though)
Do I still have a chance with him? He is always asking me questions and wants me to stay around after sex but he doesn’t flirt much which is confusing me.
Should I talk to him about wanting to date?
Updates:
Ok so here is an update, I asked him out and he agreed but he said he is too busy with work so he can meet up on Saturday. Him telling me he’s working on weekend implied that he doesn’t like me that much (who works on weekend nights?) so I told him I have plans on Sunday and can’t meet him and deleted his number. He messaged me saying he wished he could make it Friday night and how work is hectic. I didn’t reply and that’s how this story ended.
On Sunday*

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Most Helpful Guy

  • ask him for a real date
    what can you lose?

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    • Why have you acted like this?
      Some people really work at the weekends.

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    • I’m gonna tell you details in pm. Gonna follow you now.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually I will say no, but you can ask him if he would see more and if he says no then move on

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Yes, you should. No need to keep it a secret. He'll probably be happy.

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  • Girl, if a guy asks you to stay around after sex... That's high indication signal that he wants more in this your "friends with benefits" relation. So, stop waiting and go ask me if there's a chance to date. Also, set the right mood for this conversation and not in his place neither yours but somewhere neutral okay. Good luck 🤞🏾🍀

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  • If he's not flirting with you, it's because he isn't feeling a giddy spark with you. I wouldn't push for a relationship.

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    • True but what confuses me is that he’s always mirroring me! Like always in every way.

      The only times he flirted with me was when he said my ex is such a loser for losing me and that he likes me nails 😅
      I think I’ll just leave it and see if he chase me

    • Also he asks a lot of questions like a lot. Maybe he’s analyzing me?

    • What's happening is that he enjoys your company, and he likes you as a person, but the lack of flirting means that he's not trying to build a romantic connection with you.

  • Does he know you are not leaving? Maybe he is trying to keep his distance and not fall for you since he figures you are leaving.

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    • I told him today when we were texting. I think I’ll wait to see what happens.

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    • Thank you!

    • Unless you know that he is NOT working on the weekends, or doesn't have to, give him a chance. After all, the world still rotates on the weekends and people still have to work on the weekends, like I did for 40 plus years. These people are there for those of you that don't have to work weekends. For example. waiters and waitresses, movie theaters, police, air lines, railroads, truckers and a whole lot more. But, the final choice is yours. Good luck!

  • Continue pillow talking with the guy and then casually bring up that you'd like to go out on a date with him if he's down. But he seems interested in you tbh.

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  • I view friends with benefits as a nother stage in dating...
    First you're friends. Then dating. Once/if you start having sex outside of marriage, it's friends with benefits. Then once you pass the 5 or 6 months of friends with benefits, you're considered a couple. Then the rest is up to you. Marriage or whatever you want... i don't get the need to put so many labels on everything though... it's stupid. Either be one thing, or don't. It's not worth the energy or mental strain to overcomplicate things...

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  • Absolutely. You can't hit the ball with the bat on your shoulder.

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  • Another one. So far 2 friends with benefits questions. Gonna keep count

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  • Maybe he sucks at flirting

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    • Are you serious? There are lots of jobs that take weekends. Retail is one of them, most retailers go full staff on weekends and are open later. MTA is 24 hr operational. I myself was a slave to sales on weekend nights where the store didn't close till 9 or 10pm. Fool for deleting his number and not being understanding

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    • He might or might not. Just don’t want get hurt again. Either way I’m glad he entered my life. I learnt that I can have feelings for someone again and helped me to move on and think much less about my ex.

    • and you could achieve more. I'm glad to hear that he helped you to do that. You shouldn't be stuck in the past.

  • Why don't you ask him?

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  • Go for gold! Life is too short.

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  • Nope

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  • If you truly like him then yes you should

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  • Not for me

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  • if you can't handle friends with benefits, don't do it

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    • It was my first time

    • my point exactly

  • Yes there is definitely a chance a big one at that

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  • If he wanted a relationship with you, he'd be having one with you. You also need to bear in mind the message you send a man when you have casual sex with him... i. e you pretty much spell out that you are not relationship material.

    People need to realise that either you keep your own personal boundaries, or you don't. Each one has consequences.

    The mans primary reason for getting into relationships and dating for a man is to secure sex. The primary reason for getting into relationships and dating for women is to secure a relationship.

    Sex is primary for most men, and secondary for most women. Relationships are primary for most women, and secondary for most men.

    The guy knows he has / had access to sex without commitment, so why would he commit? why would he trust you are suitable?

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What Girls Said 5

  • Oops, you fell down and caught some feelings for your booty call. Rookie mistake. Never, I mean NEVER, actually develop feelings deeper than lust and friendship for any man. They are, for the most part, shady, sneaky creatures not suitable for much other than manual labor, setting up large furniture, car repair, and procreation. Of course, I'm just escaping from a relationship that never should have happened, but for the most part, if you met him in a bar, that's where you'll always find him. Bad sign.

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    • What you just described has more to do with levels of consciousness, rather than gender. A man or woman with a low level of consciousness that lives through the wants and needs of the ego, will be unsuitable for everything, including procreation. But a man or a woman that lives through the higher self, rather than the ego will make a suitable partner regardless.

      It's just that most people have been conditioned to live through the ego, are not even aware they are doing so, and continue to do so. The girl in this take, and the man she thinks she wants a relationship with is also. Both of them are.

      When blind eyes appear as sight, those that can see, do not see their true selves.

  • Yes, happens to many, catching feelings for the opposite gender and involving into more than just sex.

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  • Absolutely it's perfectly normal to meet a spouse on a degenerate platform filled with sluts and fuckboys.

    Unless you are a decent person

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    • She is the biggest fucking troll. I have ever seen. Don't listen to her.

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    • @SoulfullWanderer You're right. You're a hypocrite because you haven't condemned her actions. That probably isn't even her profile picture.

    • @iskg679 damn son you just can't get along with anyone can you

  • How often do you talk to him?

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    • We actually met three times in a single week and I only know him for a week. Other than a text for meeting we don’t text much (but I texted him today asking about his job interview)

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    • He might as well be telling the truth but those what ifs ruins it. Like what if he is already dating someone and I’m a second option

    • Sadly I think you're right, seems like you did the right thing

  • I think it's safest to not try to turn a relationship into something it's not. If he got into it looking for a friends with benefits then he's likely satisfied with what you two have now.

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