Guys, Is he a waste of time?

Been dating this guy for a couple months. He had mentioned why he broke up with his ex before to me but we went further into it recently by accident bc he was showing me old photos of himself and his life and we stumbled upon her. They lived together for 4 1/2 years, it didn’t end badly. He didn’t say she was crazy. But he broke up with her bc he didn’t want to ever get married. To which I asked “you didn’t want to marry her?” He said “I don’t want to marry anyone. I never want to get married or have kids and she did.” I asked do you want to do what your parents did? (which was didn’t get married on paper bc they didn’t believe in it, however they decided to enter into a contractual agreement saying they were committed and such) he said No, I don’t want any type of commitment. My mamma always says she regretted committing to my dad. She warns me never to do it. People who need commitment are so insecure with themselves.” So I asked “you just never want to commit to anyone ever, maybe that will change bc you just haven’t found the right person” he said “No, it has nothing to do with the person I never want to get married or be in a committed relationship. If you love yourself then why do you need anyone else?”

We talked for a bit but I think I was more stunned and couldn’t come up with words. I know a lot of people say “I don’t want to get married, I don’t want a commitment right now” and then end up getting committed. But something about his words, coupled with his moms insisntence makes me feel like he really means it and it’s finalized in his mind and really does have nothing to do with any girl

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What Guys Said 1

  • Sarah, in a word, yes, he is wasting your time, if you want to get married and settle down.

    He's been honest and upfront with you, and now the ball is in your court. It's now you, waiting your time. He won't change.

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    • Thanks, I figured as much. Wanted to make sure. What do you think about his comment “People who want commitment are so insecure“. That was hurt to hear, I defended it but he was not changing his opinion.

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    • Well, probably because it goes directly against your own values, I suspect?

    • Yea it definitely does and probably bc it scared me a little that someone could even think that. I mean plenty people never want to marry or be in a committed relationship but they don’t go around saying the ones who do are insecure

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