I really need help, I screwed up and I feel so guilty. How can I help him and myself?

We have been together for 6 years now and weve lived together for the past 2. I plan on marrying him and love him more than anything. The thing is we met at 15. And have has our ups and downs (we were learning life) who we were as people who we wanted to be and so much more. I've always been way more sexual then him and more curious. But i would have never cheated. I thought people that did that were terrible people. And we both agreed if ethier of us cheated we would break up and it would ruin us. Latley I've been just trying to figure out life and "being young and dumb" although thats never an excuse. I grew up way to fast and never experienced life for so many reasons. But we go to experience so much together it never bothered me. Long story short i went away for work and got very drunk at the hotel bar. And very drunkly slept with someone there. It was competly just sex, i dont even know the persons name. I feel So guilty. I want to work on myself and better our relationship. I know i messed up and i swear this would never hapen again.

i sat him down and told him. He could tell something was off and after hiding it for 2 months he confornted me and i said what happend. Of course he was mad, hurt, upset etc. Some days its like old times and other days he lashes out in anger (verbal), some days he is beyound depressed, somedays he is loving and happy. Its been a roller coaster. And almost a year since this whole thing
i dont know how to handle it and need advice. How can i make him trust me again? And how can i forgive myself?

i want his forgiveness and to move on, to learn and grow from this and become stronger as a couple. How can i make that happen. But i feel like i obsessivly think about it and the guilt and pain kills me. I want to help him and me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I regret to say, the ball is in his court.

    He needs to let go of your past if you both plan to marry. That incidence will haunt you for life and will cripple your marriage.

    So talk to him. Evaluate his feelings. Encourage him to be honest with you as to whether he could forgive you.

    If he couldn't, then I think the best is to move on.

    If he could, then he must also forget. This means he will NEVER bring up the case again. Only the test of time can tell if he truly forgives you.

    As long as he bring up again, even once, then it's over. Bear the pain and move on.

    So it's an ultimatum. Break up (as gently as possible) or he must forgive and never bring up again. And don't rush into marriage for now.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Drunkenness isn't an excuse.

    It's time to move on and to learn your lesson.

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What Guys Said 4

  • It will never be the same again no matter what you do.
    Once trust is broken it can never be fully regained. No matter how long it has been, no matter how good things get, he will always have doubts about you.

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  • You fucked up. Let him go. He deserves better than you. You're a cunt ass slut. You destroyed that boy. If it were me, your ass would be so kicked.

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  • You know what to do... forgiving your self first then try to help him forgive you

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  • Please tell me you at least cheated with another guy? If it was with a girl, I would lose all hope and end the relationship?

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What Girls Said 0

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