And I asked why I was like this when I should’ve asked what can I do to change this. Because I love the person I’m with but I’ve never told him.
I’m mostly terrified. Everyone I’ve had in my life has left. My dad left before I was born (I did seek him out later and he wanted nothing to do with me. Had a family of his own). My mom dropped me off at my grandmas when I was 12, told me she was going to the grocery store and just never came back. And my grandma passed away when I was 17. I’ve kind of been on my own since.
I know this is what’s holding me back from letting someone in. I’m scared they’ll leave. That I’m not good enough. They’ll see me the same way my parents saw me and figure out that I’m just not worth it.
But how do I get over this? I’m so tired of feeling this way. I just want to be happy.