boyfriend is worried about me going back to college?

So. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. He is 25. I am 21. He just graduated, and i am going into my final year. Last night, my boyfriend was telling me he’s worried I’ll forget about him when I go back to school. He said he is afraid to lose me, and he feels because I’m so much younger, and constantly surrounded by tons of people, it’ll be easier for me to let go of him.

I felt really upset by these comments. I tried to reassure him that, yes... it will be different. We will probably see each other every other weekend instead of every weekend sometimes, and that I am willing to put in effort if he does. That I choose to be with him, and I was able to last with my ex for 8 months (it would have been longer, but, he cheated on me). Anyways.

I am just upset my boyfriend maybe doesn’t believe in our relationship. Or, maybe he doesn’t believe in me and my choice to stay with him (or try to). I like him a lot. I see a future with him.

I am not sure what to do 😔

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A four year age disparity is marginal at worst. It is best to ignore these comments and implement some measures to assuage his feelings and then allow him to draw his own conclusions. I would advise you to continue questioning him politely about his activities and keep small tabs on him. This will demonstrate your concern and assist in highlighting any inconsistencies in his behavior. As you may know, people who often feel the most concerned about a thing are the ones most likely to engage in that thing.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stick with him. At least for the time being. Every guy, no matter how confident and strong they are, gets worried about the unknown. Your guy is no different.

    My first boyfriend could not accept me being away at uni for another 4 years when he dumped me. He was the same as your guy, so insecure.

    It is up to you what happens. You can show him you are trustworthy by staying squeaky clean. No reason why it cannot work. Just a few words of advice. Stay OFF the alcohol!

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What Guys Said 1

  • He is insecure, you can't change that, its all up to him.. he needs to come to terms that it is a possibility, because that is life, and we all have to deal with what life dished up. DO NOT forgo you final year do to his insecurities that you have no responsibility for, You can't fix it, and he can't ask you to succumb to his insecurities, and by the way, 4 years difference is not all that great.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Seems more like your boyfriend is voicing his insecurities. He will just have to trust you and if not, he will have a tough choice to make

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  • I think it's perfectly normal to be afraid of losing someone that you care about. I think it's rare that someone is so comfortable in the relationship to be 100% sure that you guys are going to stay together. Especially at the 6 month mark. I would say to reassure him and make it clear that the relationship will not 50-50 effort all the time. You both will work towards your relationship and if you stay true to your word it'll work out.

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