Guys, would you consider being a sperm donor if a friend asked you? Why or why not?

A good guy friend and I went on a few dates and one night I drunkenly told him that I wanted him as a sperm donor and that we should sign a contract in which he does not partake in the child’s life. He asked me a few days later at the movies while sober if I was joking. I said maybe I wasn’t. I’m 33 (he is too) so my biological clock is ticking. I had thought of sperm donation awhile back but hadn’t thought of it since then.

Once my embarrassment wore off, I told him I was serious. He said he’d be willing to be my sperm donor with the contingency h be able to act as an uncle or friend once the baby is older. I offered to draft a contract and he stated he doesn’t need one and trusts that I would never go after him for child support or parental rights. He said that once I’m fertile (2 weeks from now) we are going to do the deed everyday to ensure that I have a high possibility of pregnancy. I’m ok with this.

Prior to this conversation we had gone on dates and made out but never had sex. Not once had he ever forced me or pressured me. He showed me his STD test as I had mine. He was the first guy whom sex felt like a natural flow and not intimating. My ex boyfriend sexually assaulted me last year and I thought about suicide seriously on two occasions but I glad I didn’t. Anyway, sex felt great. He did unexpectedly ejaculate in me. He knows I’m not fertile (I’m about to have my period). He said since we are going to start trying, that he thinks it’s a good idea to start now.

Silly question as I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. My mom thinks I should wait and find a real relationship but my friends think it’s a great idea. I need an unbiased opinion. Would YOU donate to a friend? What are the pros and cons do you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's your life. not your moms life. You never know how life will deal you your cards. This _might_ be a solution for you to have kid (s) and if you don't do it like this that train might pass. A word of warning, you are at risk of more trouble than in a normal relation, you have to provide yourself, his role is only 'uncle/friend' and he's not there to pay half of everything. Things might turn different in the future, you both might develop other feelings and he might want to take up a father role, things can also turn sour if he has his own relation and potentially own kids, mother nature / biologics and common sense are not always good partners.


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What Guys Said 4

  • That has happened to me and I did think about it... for 30 seconds.

    My exGF and I got together about 2 years after we split up and she asked me. However, I said "No" because I wanted a normal life and to be there for my wife and kids. I was going for a PhD in college and my life was unsettled, so the last thing I needed was to be an absent baby-daddy. I was honored but it had to be "No".

    I think your mother is right although, if you are that concerned, go through a sperm bank or have your eggs frozen.


    This is what is going to happen without a contract.
    1. One day, you will make a parenting decision he disagrees with.
    2. He sees Junior and recognizes himself in the child; father instincts kick in.
    3. You and he get into a disagreement over your parenting decisions. There is no resolution.
    4. He sues you for at least joint custody... and he wins.

    Thus, what you want is defeated and you have a de facto ex-husband with whom you are sharing a child.

    You don't want that.


  • nope, a guy did this for a couple of lesbian friends and wound up paying child support. Even though they had a signed contract the judge said he had to.

  • The con. Friendship could be compromised.

    Pro. Versus on many things. But each day different.

  • I mean maybe, but only if I could have sex to do it.

    • Yes, as stated before we are doing it through natural insemination.

    • Yeah that sounds worth it.

    • I will say I think in most cases its sad when a woman decides its better to just get inseminated than to make a lovechild

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