What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to date me?


I don’t take a lot of selfies
What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to date me?
What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to date me?



Am I ugly? I really don’t understand why no one is interested. I have a good career I'm nice and smart. I’ve responded to guys who are very handsome and others who are average and they will say they want to meet up and always bail out on me. I don’t know why and I’m starting to feel hurt by all the rejection.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Take a break from it if it's starting to make you feel bad. Start yoga or weight lifting or something, just focus on you. Go back when you realize the issue isn't you. Dating is tough, it's a numbers and luck game.

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    • Thank you. Yeah maybe a yoga class would be nice. I haven't been feel really great about myself lately so maybe something like that would help.

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    • thank you for mho :)

    • You're welcome! And thanks for the great advice :)

      Now I just need to start following it lol

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What Guys Said 14

  • You're pretty attractive. Are you up for asking guys out?

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    • I'm really shy about asking them out. I have given a few of them my number in hopes that we will chat and get to know eachother but the one I was really interested in only sent a few texts and then stopped. We just chatted about the interests we had in common so I doubt I did anything to offend him. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. :(

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    • Yeah, I probably need to get out more

    • I definitely recommend it. Good luck!

  • Well you're certainly not ugly, I'll tell you that much. In fact, I think you're quite beautiful. Trust me, I know ugly; I look in the mirror every day and see ugly.
    Now to answer that question, it seems like you're coming off as a little desperate. I mean, this question alone already gives me that impression about you. And that can definitely be a turn-off. I know that from experience. I used to behave desperately and it always got me rejected. The first time I ever did date anyone, which wasn't until I was 21, a girl approached me and expressed her interest in me. And oddly enough this happened when I wasn't looking and was just having fun with friends.
    Also, it seems to me that you don't love yourself enough.
    I know it can sound stupid, but speaking from experience, it's essential that you love yourself before you can even consider loving anyone else. And trust me; I know it's hard, also from experience.
    I was once happy and loved by a special someone because in college I was surrounded by a group of people I was close to, perhaps even more so than my immediate family. I consider those the best years of my life. After I graduated, all my friends became distant, my once nextdoor relationship became long-distance so I went from seeing her daily to seeing her monthly, and I struggled to find work in my field for a long time, so I became depressed. The depression furthered when my grandfather passed away. Then the depression led to my girlfriend breaking up to me the following month. Then at the end of the year, my other grandfather, perhaps the single person whom I was closest to, also passed away. So as you can imagine, I was extremely miserable.
    Fortunately now things have been picking up lately. I finally got a promising job in my field, I started pursuing a side hustle out of my hobby, and I've been working on losing weight. I'm still not quite "happy" yet, but I'm definitely working on it.

    I'm sorry this is a lot for you read, but hopefully you find at least something from it helpful.
    Anyway, to recap the two big things that I think you should work on:
    1. Don't come across as desperate.
    2. Work on making yourself happy.

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    • That's true, I may being coming across as desperate I suppose. I was in a relationship with someone for a really long time and I miss having a SO. And I've been feeling a bit depressed lately. I have a few hobbies and interests that I pursue at home but I probably need to get out more and get my mind off things. It's just hard sometimes.

    • Don't worry, I understand entirely, as I still am in your shoes. I was once happily in a long-term relationship too, and I certainly miss it as well.
      So what hobbies/interests do you have anyway?

  • Really not, no. I think you're cute.

    That's just me though. I'm not technically a human being.

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  • Honestly I gave up on online dating. I have much better luck at a park or a museum or even grocery shopping. Online dating is the pits for people who want a relationship. It is almost exclusively about the hook up, and you don't give off the hookup vibe so I can understand why the typical hit-and-run guys get gun shy when it comes to actually meeting you.

    To answer your first question, no, you are not ugly.. In the top picture you look like Shelley Duvall from the 1970's. In the bottom one you are the spitting image of one of my best friends from 25 years ago.

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    • Thanks, in the first pic I'm wearing a wig, that's why it's in black and white. The second one is of course my real hair. And yeah, I'm really yearning for a real relationship and connection with someone. However, I had a guy I was hooking up with for a while but I think after he sort of said he liked me he realized that he didn't really want anything real with me so he ghosted me I guess.
      And I think I had it in my mind that maybe it would turn into something, but of course that type of thing never does. :(

  • It sounds like you may be meeting new guys online? That would explain the ghosting since many guys online either want to just keep it online to get off or want to meet for a one nights stand. Are you asking mutual friends to set you up on dates?

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    • Yeah I'm just using dating apps mostly and feeling really discouraged by them. My friends are all out of town and actually a lot of my friends are guys but they have girlfriends and I would feel weird asking them to help set me up with someone.

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    • One more thing I would suggest is to change your attitude and try to be more optimistic and confident. Having a profile name like '4everalone' and saying things like 'ever going to meet anyone honestly.' are not positive things guys find attractive. Just like you are not attracted to guys who lack confidence. I know it's not easy, but figure out things you like about yourself and remember if you love yourself more it will be reflected in how you interact with the world. Just some honest feedback, good luck!

    • Thanks for the advice, I'm trying to be more positive but I struggle with depression and anxiety anyways so it's not always easy for me.

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with you. We modern men are just terrible.

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    • I dont know why, but I've just been feeling so depressed about it lately. I had one guy I was seeing kind of tell me he likes me and then he's just basically ghosted me. It hurts so much. I dont understand it anymore.

  • For me you are perfect. I must say you have not met the one made for you yet. Just give it some time and things will happen on its own.

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  • I thank you very cute I don't see why someone would leave someone like you

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  • Second pic looks real cute

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  • u dont look ugly

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  • Maybe it's a personality thing.

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    • I mean idno maybe, but when some of the guys I talked with open up to me I am sweet and supportive but I just dont peak anyone's interest I guess. Maybe I'm just boring.

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    • How do I meet anyone? I live in a little town and I don't know anyone nearby.

    • Have you tried through your friends? Or maybe just talking to random guys you see. Or doing some kind of activity like volunteering or some kind of class. You know find things were people are. The more guys you can put yourself around the better.

  • where are you from?

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  • Change your hairstyle around a little bit

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  • Sorry l dont cheat on my girl

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