Why do Americans think that abstinence is not a personal choice but the culture's one?

In my old question I nicely and clearly explained why having multiple sexual partners and/or boyfriends would leave me broken, desperate, aggressive and mentally unhealthy.
But these Americans change the path. They choose to ignore my dislike and disgust for their REGULAR Western women's lifestyle because they can't stand when foreigners don't envy their freedom. Lol. So they brought up freedom of choice.
I never denied that American women are FREE to be sluts. I never denied that promiscuity is a choice.
But tell me please
HOW CAN THE FREEDOM OF CHOOSING PROMISCUITY TURN MY DISGUST FOR IT INTO LOVE FOR IT?
If anything my family and other peopl aroind me are always convincing me to finally date someone and marry.
But I keep on being celibate and single.
Americans get hostile when I tell them that I am not forced to stay celibate.
MY CELIBACY IS MY CHOICE.
HOW ELSE CAN I EXPLAIN THIS IN ORDER American BRAINS TO GET THIS?
Updates:
I bet they wouldn't be hostile if I said "I envy you. I wish I could be a slut too"
Sure Americans I wish I could have lots of boy friends and breakups. I am craving for breakups. I am craving to be used for boys' one time pleasure. 😁😁😁😁
I am not slutshaming.
I am dumb shaming.
In my Old question I simply said why I dislike that lifestyle and how that lifestyle would leave me broken if I choose it.
People brought up the freedom of choosing promiscuity hoping that it would make me stop disliking that lifestyle.
So the issue I have with these People is not their promiscuity but their lack of understanding that I would never choose promiscuity because of many reasons I have listed in my other question

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If you want to be celibate, great fine enjoy it. That's your choice. But do not start judging other women who choose not to be celibate. Do not start slut shaming, or applying negative labels.
    If you are free to choose, so are others. It doesn't make you better than them.

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    • I didn't slutshame. In my Old question I simply said why I dislike that lifestyle and how that lifestyle would leave me broken if I choose it.
      People broight up the freedom of choosing promiscuity hoping that it would make me stop disliking that lifestyle.
      So the issue I have with these People is not their promiscuity but their lack of understanding that I would never choose promiscuity because of many reasons I have listed in my other question

  • I agree with you on choices.. But your bitterness towards Americans takes away from the things you say that make wonderful sense. It is obvious that your use of the term "Sluts" is awfully derogatory and when explaining your perfectly reasonable choices to live in Abstinence , you only serve to harden the line between you and those you called sluts and wish to understand your standards. As An American that admires your choices, your use of "American Brains" is rather insulting. You don't have to throw that term around, the intelligence of your choices is self evident, the throwing that around only serves to diminish your argument.

    Also, you are on GAG.. the demographics here, in no way line up with reality, so those that you interact with are not representative of the USA as a whole.. The values you dislike are also the values I see expressed equally by users from most of Europe and Australia, so your singling out of Americans is rather myopic and does not mesh with what seems to be indicative of your apparent intelligence.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I want to say three things:

    1. You're absolutely entitled to choose a celibate lifestyle, if that's what makes you happy. It's always good to know what you want and don't want.

    2. You're being hypocritical. You're expressing your frustration and anger about people judging your life choices (and I think that frustration is justified), but at the same time you're doing exactly that. You expect people to accept and not judge your choice of living celibate, while you harshly judge and shame others for having different life choices and living a more promiscuous (or even just less celibate) life. That's pure hypocrisy, whether you like it or not. Freedom is always a two-way street, keep that in mind.

    3. It's strange how you're adressing this to Americans specifically, because out of all the westerners, they're the only ones who still also have a strong culture of sexual prudery (next to the usual western culture of promiscuity and everything in between, of course). I'm in Europe and I rarely ever come across anyone who has a general problem with people being promiscuous. I almost exclusively encounter this attitude in Americans and non-westerners. On this very site, for instance, which is predominantly American, you'll find tons of users (especially guys) who harshly judge promiscuity. It would make more sense to address this to Europeans.

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    • 2. I don't judge them for judging my lifestyle because they never judge it. Read the description. The problem is that they delusionally don't want to believe that I don't like their lifestyle. Got it? Or should I explained this once again?
      I mean they refuse to believe that I dislike their lifestyle and that I wish I had their lifestyle but I am forced to have it.
      3. I haven't talked to Europeans to know that. But Whoever approves of female promiscuity is someone I wouldn't want to hang with. If you think I would apllaud Europeans for their positieve view on female promiscuity then you are wrong.

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    • I mean it makes sense that an abstinent girl feels disgust for female promiscuity. It's both moral and physical disgust.

    • Cool then. Take care!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 15

  • This American believes that the American society has run amok. They think that just because they have the choice to be a slut/player, that it's okay to be so. What they fail to realize is that EVERY choice has a consequence, whether good OR bad. And usually people who sleep around end up having bad consequences, whether it's STDs, unwanted pregnancies, victim of heat-of-passion love triangle, etc. I personally agree with you in that abstinence is a good thing. People see it as a joke. Some people even attempt to tempt an celibate person to change their ways. It's very sickening. Sure, you have freedom of choice. But that doesn't automatically make your choice a good/correct one. I believe the cause of this is largely based on Hollyweird. For so many years (decades even), Hollyweird has produced very provocative films and TV shows. And it wasn't until it was too late that they created the "ratings" system, which tells people what age of people can or can't watch a certain program. That should've been done long ago, when entertainment/media hit the airwaves.

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  • I think they think there is not point of being in a relationship, if you don't have sex. They probably think it is against human nature.

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    • They are instinct driven which is why their arguments lack logic

  • American are huge on personal freedom and not hurting or hating or shaming other people for their beliefs or the way they live. they are also very patriotic so if you talk shit about their country they will talk shit back to you. i am guessing if you got any hostility it is because you did one of those things.

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    • My question is not hostility. My question is about their lack of understanding

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    • i am not i am just trying to help and let you know what they are thinking. i lived both in the US and the middle east so i know how both people think

    • and yes you are right abstinence is a personal choice too. it was for me for a long time

  • Sex is important but for some people it is their main focus which is one of the reasons why a lot of relationships don't last. People have their priorities in the wrong order. If you were to asked what is important a lot of people will say sex and money first.

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  • Abstinence is kinda silly to be honest its like personal torture

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    • Im not torturing myself. I feel good

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    • I would be sad if I had sex with the one I don't love. That would leave me desperate. Celibacy has never gotten me heartbroken

    • to each their own I'd die if I wasn't havign constant sex even from girls I ont give a crap about lol

  • I don't know the gals I've ever been with are not like that, sure some of them are. But how many millions of people are there here? There are women like this in other countries too, I've seen it

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  • This is what is bad about American culture, you are not free when it you are apuasing them.
    But calling names like Sluts or other thing is bad tbh, I know what you mean, but still it is normal for them.

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  • Listen however you want to live your life live your life but you can't judge or force your real life on other people however you feel is how you feel no big deal but don't be so nasty to people or you going to get feedback that you don't like

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  • if you never question why people do stuff and decide for yourself, you've never really grown up.

    yeah you have no authority about what parents and society tells you but you have authority about your own mind.

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    • Read the title.

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    • who said i was talking about that. i don't care about your celibacy. i think culture is a choice.

    • I am glad you don't care about my celibacy but the question is not about culture being a choice but abstinence being a choice

  • Quit talking to 3rd wave feminist who think the only way to demonstrate their freedom is by fucking everyone. The rest of us typically find the hook up culture repulsive as well

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  • Who cares what anyone thinks? A lot of things Americans do is insane in the eyes of Europeans/Asians, let alone other cultures.

    We're just different.

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    • I bet they wouldn't be hostile if I said "I envy you. I wish I could be a slut too"
      Sure Americans I wish I could have lots of boy friends and breakups. I am craving for breakups 😂

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    • Would they be called boyfriends if she had them all at the same time?

    • I don't know. Not in the traditional sense. People tend to do crazy things and use the word "boyfriend" loosely.

  • And they judge other culture so sad and tell others to follow up western culture.. as they are correct and other cultures are wrong.. I have pity for them

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  • The reason we have so many partners is because we start to date at a young age, personally I only have had one girlfriend but she moved away.

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  • May i ask what is your cultural background?

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    • I am Armenian

    • Ohh really that's nice.. we have lots of armenians in my home country.. i was a little mixed between 3 choices.. Georgia, armenia or my country lol

  • abstinence is a personal choice

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    • Promiscuous women want abstinent girls like me to say that we envy them so they can stop regretting for their choice of promiscuity.
      This is what I found out

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    • Right

    • That's a nice quote.
      Abstinence is a choice like promiscuity and unlike rape.

What Girls Said 3

  • You cannot change an American's viewpoint.

    You cannot change their love of guns.

    Whenever an under 18 talks about dating, they always accuse them of having sex.

    In many cases, they are so blinkered, they cannot understand anyone else's point of view.

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  • Just say your saving yourself for marriage and that you want it to be special. Any Americans who keep pushing you for answers are idiots. I'm American and even I know we are the ass holes of the world.

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    • @jaguar1818 what are u saying me like because I have no problem kicking a person ass. I don't get you there

    • You have a truth seekong personality which is awesome.

  • No one says you have to make the same choices. But calling other women slurs because they live differently than you is shitty. No one's going to thank you for your input on that.

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    • They are not sluts because they are different. They are sluts because they choose prpmiscuity. I am not saying theu should say thank you to me. I am saying they should understand what I have written above which your brainst couldn't get.

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    • @CuChullan my judgment is real. My celibacy is real tkk

    • Too..

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