My Exes New Stripper Friend?

Okay, so earlier last week me and my ex began talking to one another again. We had been broken up for a year, prior to that we'd been together for about 7 years. We decided we were so in love with one another and to work on building our new found relationship, right? HOWEVER, during the year break we had, he met a "friend" who just happens to be a stripper. Now, I'm not knocking her career choices at all, but hear me out. He claims they were just friends who went on a few dates. They'd never kissed, never had sex. However there are some things I am concerned about. He told me she comes to his job quite often, she's sent him explicit photos of her (that he still has in his phone), they text every other day, and they have engaged in flirting with one another. He claims, again, she's just a friend and that she has a boyfriend. I, however, am not comfortable with this friendship at all. Trust was a huge part of the reason why we broke up in the first place. So gimme your opinions. Men/Women, whoever.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If trust was a problem the first time around, why will it be different the second time around? You tried it and it didn't work. This is like watching a re-run of a sitcom that you watched and did not like the first time that you saw it.

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    • I guess a part of me is hoping things would be different, esp. Since I spent majority of my adulthood with him. Then another part of me knows better.. but I have a gut feeling of discernment that it won't work... and to just move on completely.

    • You are old enough to understand that hoping for something does nothing to make it happen. . . even if you REALLY, REALLY want whatever it is. This is sometimes called the "Field Of Dreams" mentality (an old Kevin Costner movie.)

      Here is a good rule for you to accept and incorporate into your rules for living: Follow your heart INTO a relationship but follow your HEAD out of a relationship.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah
    Honestly though.. if he truly loves you he wouldn't be with a stripper nor been friends with her.. nor even think about another women nor go to a stripper club
    He cheated on you..
    Because once she sent him photos or came to his job or something he should have told her to stop I have a girlfriend and leave me alone

    That is a red flag that HE DID NOT do..

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    • We're not officially together yet, we said we were going to build on that. He became her friend during the year we were broke up. I'm assuming she sent him the photos during that year we were broken up however He still has them. We've only been back talking for a week now, but im uncomfortable with this new of his

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    • Your welcome

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What Guys Said 3

  • If he wants to commit to you and is hesitant to break off ties then that can obviously be a red flag. He needs to decide on which relationship he values more because they obviously cannot coexist. If trust is a factor that needs to be worked on in your relationship having a friend with benefits is not a great way to establish that.

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    • He met her during the year we were broken up. He claims they've never had sex, but have flirted and she has sent explicit photos. Y'all I don't even know why I even bothered letting him back in my life ๐Ÿ˜”.

    • Some people never change no matter how many second chances you give them. It's not your fault, ultimately it's his decision on where or not he wants to put forth the effort ๐Ÿ’œ

    • Right ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”

  • I doubt your boyfriend makes even half of what she does she can do better then him so don't worry about it

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  • ex's should not affiliate with each other

    STOP TALKING TO HIM

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What Girls Said 1

  • If trust was a problem last time - what has changed now that makes you want to try again?

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    • I think a huge part of me just missed him because of the time we had.

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    • Put it this way... their short term friendship is a priority over a second chance with you if youโ€™ve said youโ€™re uncomfortable and he isnโ€™t willing to negotiate.

      If you arenโ€™t worth that to him, should he be worth taking the risk to trust him again?

    • Mannnnn the way you just put that! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ Because earlier when I told him I was uncomfortable he was basically saying well me and her have been friends for a year... like okay, I didn't ask that.. What kind of "friend" sends explicit photos of herself regardless if it was before we were talking about rekindling anything, the friend line has been crossed to me. And knowingly that I have an issues with these photos, yet he still has them... I ain't feeling it.

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