Does a divorced guy who mentions his ex-wife a few times on a first date-ready for a LTR?

Met an online guy for coffee a few days ago. Without me asking, he shared his ex-wife’s occupation, ethnicity, and some other detail. His ex and I work in the same field and have the same ethnic background. Not sure why he needed to share this with me? And to boot he shared he has had zero luck meeting someone. I liked him but left thinking maybe he’s not ready?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Most of those things would have been better left unsaid even if he was thinking them. So he certainly didn't display perfect behavior.

    My opinion is that if you like him otherwise I wouldn't rule him out yet, but would watch for additional signs that he's not really ready to move on.

    It could be that he was thinking that mentioning the similarities between you and his ex-wife was a way to connect with you. I don't understand the comment about having zero luck meeting someone at all though. That seems like something that shouldn't be said at all with a potential new partner.

    Have you had contact since that meeting? If so, how has that gone? Did he show interest in meeting you again?

    • Thanks! I too thought why would he share that he has had no luck meeting someone, even if it was true? You are trying to sell yourself. We had a nice, 2+ hour date. He said I was beautiful and looked better in person. I can be reserved at first and so I texted him after we met to tell him I enjoyed chatting with him and inquired about his weekend. Have not heard back. May not hear back.

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    • I met my girlfriend while we were both still legally married and initially we were just friends. Once we learned that we were both in the process of getting divorced, we started supporting each other through that stressful process and started realizing how much we liked doing things together. Over time the relationship changed from friendship to romance, so our case was different than normal. We both knew about the other's soon-to-be-ex because of the unique situation we were in.

      Were I just having a first date with someone I met after the divorce, I probably would not have brought up the ex on the first date unless my date asked.

    • Had to share... once met another guy who disclosed that his pending divorce was contentious and how his ex was emotionally abusive. How his therapist suggested he go out and date... When he asked me out again, I think my mouth hit the floor. Could not leave Starbucks fast enough. 😱 Thanks again and have a nice weekend!! Glad you opened your heart again. 😊

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