Dating for 8 months, now he wants to be just friends?

I met a guy on dating site about 8 months ago. I thought he was a great guy, we got along just great and starting dating. I knew he had been just out of a long-term relationship, and so was I, although his break-up was more recent. I liked him so much. At first, I was just happy to see him and spend time with him without any pressure or any 'where is this going conversations'. After a few months of dating, we we were seeing each other less and less, so I finally said something to him, he gave me the usual 'I am so busy stuff', but yet kept on talking and texting each other every day. I never asked him if he was dating anybody else, and he never asked me. I was not ready to hear the answer. Recently, I got very upset with him, and I asked him what is going on, and he said he knew I was looking for a boyfriend, and I he was not ready to get into another serious relationship, but wanted me in his life. I told him 'goodbye'. I feel, like I stuck around for all this time, he should have figured it out sooner, instead of letting me hope and believe that something was going to happen between us.

I am very upset over this, but I don't even know if there is anything else for me to say or do here. I can't force him, can I? I still think he is great, and I don't know if I made the right decision to cut him out of my life, but I know I couldn't stand being just his friend. It's been a few days, and I haven't heard from him. Do you think we're done?

6 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think he could try to contact you eventually but that doesn't mean he'll give you what you want which is committing to you some how. I think you did the right thing for you since you obviously want a relationship of some kind and not just a friend. If you keep talking to that guy you won't get over him and then you won't be meeting anybody that wants what you want.


What Girls Said 1

  • WOW! I had to read this twice, because this sounds exactly what I'm going through! Me & my guy been talkin for almost 10 months. He never told me he didn't want a girlfriend but that it was "bad timing" when we talked about where we were going, which then made things even more complicated, and made him end things. He said he still liked me & wanted to talk to, but wasn't sure what was going to happen with us. I stuck it out for a few weeks texting/calling him,taking most of the initiative & then he became more distant. When he stopped responding to texts/calls I decided to do the same thing back. He texts me occasionally, asking why he hasn't heard from me & I tell him because I haven't heard from him. Don't wait around...if he wants to contact you or work things out he will. Give him his space, I bet he will come around...and if he doesn't at least you know you tried. I know it sux! trust me I know. I'm quite disappointed myself. This isn't the first time this has happened to me, seems like I'm attracted to the "emotionally unavailable" guys who don't want a gf/relationship. I think you did the best thing you could do, you showed him your not going to waste your time, and that you deserve better. I wish you the best!

    • He just called me, and I did not pick up the phone.

    • There you go, sounds like he's already in panic mode. Give him what he wants.."no girlfriend"...which also means no time with you, etc. I don't get guys..why even talk to a girl and continue to persue her, but not want a girlfriend or relationship. I think 8 months is long enough to know you truly like eachother..I hope he realizes what he could miss out on! =) G'luck