Is this abusive?

I've always adored soldiers. I've fantasized dating one since my childhood. I am blown away by their selflessness, bravery, strength and heroism. However, I couldn't really find a soldier, and settled with a Marine.

Sometimes, when we watch war films with soldiers, I would always compliment about how attractive the soldiers were. Also, when I see uniformed soldiers around shops, I would gush about how good they look in uniform and how sharp they are. The topic of soldiers and my admiration for them would often sneak into our conversations.

My boyfriend always get upset whenever I've mentioned soldiers, and he'd always get jealous and criticize them. I don't like that at all, it seems arrogant of him. But yesterday, he pulled me aside. Trying to hold back tears, he told me whenever I talk about soldiers, it makes him feel insecure, and not good enough for me no matter how hard he tries to please me, and it hurts him immensely. I am putting a stop to my behavior and applogized. But it left me wondering, was I abusive to him in our relationship? What should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's rude you are telling like you fantasize soldiers. You should not tell too often praising or attracted to soldiers coz it can hurt his feelings.. So for example what if he says often too that he fantasized models from childhood and felt they are attractive but settle with you.. How do you feel this

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I think so. You're hurting his feelings so he was definitely abused emotionally...

    Since you always speak of good thinks about soldiers, he might feel that he is not enough for you, as he is a marine.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You should start giving him the attention instead of giving it to the soliders...

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don’t think it’s abusive in the traditional sense but it’s certainly thoughtless, rude and offensive to someone you supposedly love

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