Guys, if you don't text a girl in 1-2 weeks, does that mean you are not interested?

Around mid-August I was having tea by myself at a cafe and there was a guy sitting there with another man (looked like they were having a business lunch). I hung out there for maybe an hour and a half and the entire time this guy was staring at me. From when I first walked in he was staring at me, then sometimes I'd look around and see him staring at me. When I was leaving he was still staring at me and the guy that was sitting with him went to use the washroom. So as I passed his table I smiled at him and said "Hi", we ended up speaking super brief and he asked how he can get in touch with me... I didn't give him my cell number cus of bad experience with handing out my number to guys I don't know, so I asked if he is on Instagram instead. He wrote it down for me on a piece of paper.

I was hesitant at first to message him but decided to a few days later. He responded to me a week later and then I messaged him back right away, but he never responded to me again. I saw that he read my message though.

I went through his instagram and noticed he is actually a really busy person and it looks like he travels for work and had to travel last week, but I can see his activity status and that he is active on Instagram quite a bit. It also looks like he is single from his Instagram posts.

Is he just not interested in me or is he busy? It took him a week to respond the first time so maybe he is just super busy? I think he's cute and would really like to get to know him, but I don't want to be the one to pursue him. I'd rather wait and see if he'll respond and if not then I guess forget about it.

But just wondering if he could still be interested?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • 1-2 weeks? Almost certainly not interested, but it is possible if I had a death in the family or something similar, if I nearly died or am in the hospital, lost my phone, my phone died, lost my contacts etc. You need to understand that when a guy really likes a girl he always finds time to talk to her, even when he cannot actually spend time with her. I doubt he is very intererested. The fact that you wouldn't give him your number is likely the main reason. 95% of the time when a girl declines to give a phone number and gives out social media instead, this is the girl's polite way to decline and still maybe be friends. Sounds like he took what you did as a rejection (like most polite guys would) and thinks you only want to be friends with him. He is not going to respond super quick or often or put a huge effort into a conversayion for someone who he thinks friendzoned him. Doesn't mean he hates you, just means he wants to spend his freetime making plans with people and getting to girls he wants to date. If you seem like neither of those things, he is not going to talk to you much.

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    • yeah I thought it might have something to do with me not giving him my phone number, but oh well.. if that's the case.. then I guess it's not meant to be

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    • haha that's probably true.. sometimes it's not though.. I've become interested in guys after they pursued me but I guess it's rare

    • It must be rare! lol it has never happened to me, even though I am an onion and my layers unfold over time. Ladies usually either like the outer layer or never like the onion at all.

  • Okay, first off, there's absolutely nothing wrong with girls pursuing guys. So if you like him, don't hold back and wait for him. Make moves! What if he's shy? Then he'll never do it. Especially dince you had to initiate conversation upon your first meet.
    Second, to attempt to answer your question, a week is an awful long time... I mean, if he waited a week to initiate conversation, thst'd be understandable and I'd have suggested the idea that he was nervous to talk to you and I'd have used personal experience to back it.
    But it was YOU who initiated conversation, so I don't think it should have taken him a week to respond, especially if he left you on read.
    So from that standpoint, I'm sorry to say, but unfortunately to me it seems that he is not interested in you...

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What Guys Said 18

  • Only he knows, but, sure it's possible. I can understand that you think it's his job to chase you rather than the other way around, but if you're really interested in him, it looks like you will have to.

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    • Yeah I've just had bad experiences doing that... every time I do that I end up in a situation where a guy doesn't care about me and I'm just chasing him. But I guess that answers my question, I guess he's just not interested. I'm thinking maybe he'll eventually try if he cares? If not then maybe it's better I don't message him?

  • It could be text him and make a plan to meet! Or he could be just doing what women have always done play hard to get to see if you are desperate or try to figure out what kind of woman you are !

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    • I thought maybe he might be checking to see if I'm desperate as well but wasn't sure if guys actually do that. He's in his early 40's so I thought definitely he's not testing me.. but do guys actually do that? I guess it makes sense... I have a lot of guy friends who said girls flip out on them if they don't respond right away so I guess it's possible...

    • That usually applies to those in there teens and 20's

    • yeah it's really weird for older people to behave that way lol

  • If i were interested on someone but going to be offline for a while i'd tell them up front. If he was interested he'd find a way.
    Move on.

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  • Absolutley not, there are plenty of girls I am interested in that I don't call within 2 weeks of meeting. Either because I don't want to come across needy and desperate or just cause I don't want to come across as a creep or something.

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  • After two weeks I might consider calling the Ghostbusters

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    • I actually called them last week

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    • 😂I support equal pay for equal ghost busting... But the older movies are way better 😂

    • Yeah I support equal pay for equal ghost busting too, but if someone is more senior than you, they also deserve more pay since they have more experience and can get rid of more ghosts. :P

  • i don't know what that novel was about but i think reading the headline suffices. yes that means he's not interested. however he might spontaneously message you when he's horny or bored. just ignore him then.

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  • Don't assume that he isn't interested. Send out a few feeler messages, and see how he responds. Right now I'm in touch with a girl who just drops off the map for a couple weeks, sometimes a month at a time (she's out of the country, right now). As infuriating as it is, she still reaches out to me though, and is super flirty and tells me she wants to meet up when she comes back to my country.

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    • Hmm actually this guy seems to be away as well but he's still active on Instagram so not sure.. but yeah it's confusing I guess. Hope you get to see that girl

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    • I certainly don't want to put any bad vibes out into the universe, but to be perfectly honest, I don't know that I would even want a relationship with her, if this is the behavior I can expect.

    • Yeah that's true... I just met this guy so I'm willing to let it slide if he comes around and asks for my number but I'm not holding my breathe.. I think when they're distant like that I guess they aren't interested.

  • Yes , cuz if someone is interested in you they would be excited to hear from you , waiting that long pretty much means they r weighing their options

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  • Post a new photo about something you wasn't to do. Like a new movie. And ask him if he will be into going to it?

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  • You can be patient if you want but it doesn't take long to text.

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  • No not at all maybe sometimes you want to stay away for o e reason or an other

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  • yep.

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  • That's correct

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  • Yes sure

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  • Why not talk to him in person?

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  • You text him, and ask his cell number.

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  • Yeah

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  • he may have found someone else, or simply doesn't use insta much. has he been posting anything over Instagram while ignoring you? this is exactly why you don't play games with guys. It rarely works, but never gives the right signal

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    • I'm not following him but I just checked and he posted a couple photos over the weekend and he is away either on vacation or business trip. So I guess he's just not interested since he has been online

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