What are we? How/should I ask?

So basically I’ve met this guy on a dating site about 6months ago, we’ve been talking non stop ever since. We’ve been on a number of dates despite the fact we live in different cities, which means getting trains or driving for over an hour to see each other, as well as staying at each other’s houses because of the distance.

We’ve never actually had THE TALK about what we are but I think somewhere along the lines we kinda agreed we’re just having a bit of fun - which I was completely fine with. However now he keeps bringing up the idea of moving in together because we’re both in similar situations of wanting to move out... part of me thinks it’s just a way for him to move out sooner but there other part says I can see it going somewhere.. I know 6 months isn’t exactly a long time to start concidering such a commitment like this ESPECIALLY if were not even together, which brings me to my next point.

I haven’t spoken to anyone else since things kinda started up, there was no conversation to say ‘don’t talk to other people’ but I wouldn’t feel right talking to others and then making him still travel to come see me every other week. But I recently noticed he is still receiving messages from the site we met on as well as a number of other different dating sites.

I don’t want to be the girl who is like “what are we” but I don’t know what to think. It feels as if we are dating just without the label but what if he doesn’t see it that way and this is just us “hooking up” on occasion and “having fun”? ... I don’t know, what should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he's just feeding you the moving in together line to string you along and make you feel like something deeper is a possibility whilst he bangs (or at least attempts to bang) other girls. You should ask. Not trying to be harsh here, you deserve to know exactly what's going on.

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    • Yeah I get what you mean, thank you. I just don’t want to ruin whatever it’s we have going on because, well I do like it but I think there is a part of me that wants more if that’s makes sense.

    • Makes perfect sense. The questions are whether or not he's willing to give more, and is it he whom you want more from? Perhaps another guy would offer more satisfaction in terms of a LTR.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Dump his ass he is obviously a creep that can not date outside on the real world. Online dating is for people who don't have a clue how to date outside from them so I suggest to leave it at that and move on from dating apps and find someone who is physically in front of you.

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  • I think the only way to ask is either, in person, over the phone, or some Skype similar means.

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  • do you allow him to have friends, or chat buddies?

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    • Like I said we’ve never had a talk about not talking to other people, I get that he can kinda do what he wants because we aren’t together but I think I’d just like clarification of what’s actually happening.

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