Why did he express interest in dating me and then disappear?

Updates:
After about 6 weeks he finally reached out to me, but only because he was horny. I told him I was not interested in guys who see me as friends with benefits with no potential for anything else. Since then we haven’t talked and I don’t feel bad about it anymore.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Because he's window shopping. He's looking to see what's available. He strings a few girls on the line at one time so we always have something to fall back on. You are worth more than that. Guys like that are not worth a second thought.

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    • You know, that makes the most sense. Thanks for saying I'm worth more than that, I think I needed to hear that. Thank you.

  • Maybe because you didn't reacted enough and he thought there's no way for him to date you, so he left.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • He likely says that to every girl who says yes, and then picks from the litter.

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    • Haha probably

    • Exactly. It's similar to propositioning any kind of solicitation. Like when "seekers" (men), look for jobs, they usually don't just propose one job and wait for months for their reply. The size of the net they cast is usually big. And often, a better job opportunity is reciprocated back which of course leads to the guy picking his preference. It's not like guys usually wait around for one girl. But women seem to be shocked at this.

  • Because he was never interested in actually dating you. He just wanted to stroke his ego and feel validated by being able to gain your attention. Guys like that suck.

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    • Hey, while that is true, do you even have an idea how many girls do that too?

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    • @SngBirdy

      I don't understand why so many people go from 0-60 anger from nothing online. I don't recall ever experiencing that in person. No it's not "painfully obvious" to me how my thought "misses the point of this discussion by miles." No I don't think my comment was exactly relatable. No metaphor is.

    • @cavmanier Dont confuse "angry" comments with actually being angry. Im not angry at you or anything.
      The internet just sounds very mean and angry a lot of times, because here you can say what you think. I was dead honest to you, which was very mean at first sight. But i feel comfortable saying stuff like that because im talking to an internet stranger.

      It is painfully obvious. Yes obviously, there are potentially as many "options" for every girl as there are men in the world. But you know exactly how many men fawn over average girls and ask them out, and how that looks the other way round. Most men are never approached by girls, and if it happens, the last thing he is going to do, is ditching that girl

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What Guys Said 32

  • Maybe just forgot he started talking to you. As a man I show interest in many women as most say no.

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    • I don't think it was that because we had met in person a few times already by the time he expressed interest in actually dating me. But if he and I were just talking on a dating site that would definitely make sense

  • Most the guys do that to see what's in store for them then they pick one up which they feel is good for them at that moment. But I feel this I not a right thing to do as you have hurt someone's feelings

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  • It could be a lot of reasons why he did that maybe started dating who sings something you didn't like or maybe he's just the player type either way your good cause he most likely would've been playing games with you

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  • Someone else may have been quicker. This is a fast world.

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  • Could be a couple different reasons. Maybe he found someone else, or has another girlfriend. He could be embarrassed about a few things and thinks you might judge him.

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  • Do you take initiative, make thing's happen, are the one that's on, makes plans, invites, or are you the passive one that thinks the other one should be the drive?

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  • Because you spooked him or he found someone else before it got serious.

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  • Honestly, he probably just wanted to have fun 🤷‍♂️ many people do it, and they slowly start to stretch the rubber band, and soon let go leaving you with the mark of the rubber band.

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  • To be honest it's probably because he was a lowlife piece of shit

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  • There is so many reasons, but I doubt it was your fault, he's missing out if you ask me.

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  • You gotta give us more info than that. There could be a lot of reasons

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  • There are multiple possible reasons, but unfortunately I'd need more details to figure it out.

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  • Why did the chicken cross the road? We spew out our opinions here, but to do that we need something to go on

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    • He said with no potential?

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    • This is after me waiting 6 weeks for him to talk to me again after he told me he likes me. Once he said that he disappeared and then reappeared only to ask me to give him a bday blow job. He can suck it.

  • us guys do that sometimes. iunno why.

    we might do it because we think negative attention will give us positive attention.

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  • Umm is this online? Offline? Met in school? Met at work?

    Well I'm just going to say you probably didn't express the same amount of interest.

    To me if a woman isn't showing any sign of interest I would just move along.

    There was this girl I met in college that lived in the same apartment complex and I saw her every morning at the bus stop.

    I always greeted her and try to start some small talk. After a while I stopped just to see if she would greet me back. And not only did she not say anything she pretended like I wasn't there.

    At that point I just minded my own business and we never spoke again. Which was a little awkward at the beginning since we were both taking the same class and in the same club.

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  • May be he wait for you, may be he finded other who liked more, why not to call him?

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  • he is probably doing it on purpose thinking that will make you chase after him

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  • Changed his mind?

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  • May be he is confused or tricking you

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  • Found someone else

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  • He found out, that you are not that great?

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  • He sounds like a player I'm sorry to say

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  • Mabye he thought you did not like him

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  • Maybe fear.

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  • Cold feet?

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  • Maybe he got locked up

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  • Maybe because it was a mistake :/

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  • Because he get bored and he think you cold person

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  • Well you might have ignored him

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  • Cus clingy

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What Girls Said 10

  • Please don't get stuck at why with guys. It's a simple reason. See as many guys as the weekend will allow you to. It's all a process of elimination... look at it that way. 🤗

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  • Most guys do that just give the cold shoulder when they want to fool around nothing new.

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  • He found someone else. I'm sorry but you gotta move on. You don't need those kind of guys in your life.

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  • I don’t really know how to answer that without background.

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    • We hooked a few times and would text eachother for hours. He would tell me how much he loved talking to me. And he used to ask me if I was seeing other people and I'd tell him no, then I asked him if he was dating anyone and he said no but he wished he was. Then he said something about how he would date me if I was closer ( he lives like 50 miles from me) and then he changed the subject. We made plans to see eachother the following day but then he said he was taking a break from things and it was nothing personal. We talked a little that week and hung out the week after but we haven't really been in touch since then. I sent a text last week and we talked briefly but haven't been in touch regularly like we used to be.

  • He found someone else..

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  • Just bored.

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  • Maybe he was compromised already

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  • He could had other stuff to do
    Etc

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  • How did he express interest

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    • Well we've hooked up a few times and we used to text a lot. Then one day we were texting and flirting and I asked him if he was dating anyone and he said no then he asked me and I said no. And he said he'd like to date someone and we flirted then he admitted he wanted to date me but I live kind of far and that he's kind of a mess. And I teased him but I complimented him too. And we made plans but then the next day he said he's taking a break from everything and he told me it wasn't personal but we haven't talked much since then.

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    • Best of luck to you :)

    • Thank you!

  • he's gay. Playing mind games with you.

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    • Good for you, stay strong and next time you will meet someone who wants what you want.

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