Why do men get intimidated by successful women?

Here's the scoop. I've been actively searching for a man to incorporate into my life. However when they start asking me about my personal stuff and find out yes I do have a couple cars and a house (on my own) yada yada, they get almost intimidated. One man's quote was "I can't be with you because you'll make me look unsuccessful." And another was "Your to well off to be in my life." Take into consideration I don't gloat about what I have but if someone asks me "do you live at home" or "what kind of car do you drive?" It comes up in conversation. I just don't understand what's so off to a guy about being successful on your own. Help me out guys.

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  • I'm not intimidated by successful women, because I'm reasonably successful myself, and I have enough self esteem, that is the woman it more successful than me, then that's a good thing. Just as it would be good if I was more successful than her. It seems that guys who are put off by your success may be immature or have a poor self image. That can change with time, as they live life and find success in what they do, and mature.

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    • I beleive you are correct. I do sense a link between immaturity and simply crappy personalities and low self esteem (especially on here).

      I can understand it. I'm sure someone whos is a stable point in their life will come along with the same mindset you have. I appreciate it.

  • When you are a successful person, finding a mate becomes much harder, one thing you DO NOT want is someone who will bring down your status, hang out with people with equal status or better yet, higher status so that you may continue to grow and build healthy interpersonal relationships, most men get intimidated mainly because those who watch others prosper without taking a course of action are usually the ones trying to protect their pride as a male figure, In short, simply hang out with more personally secure people, that doesn't mean he has to make the same amount of income as you, it means to find a confident man who acknowledges his flaws without letting that bring him down, I won't lie to you, a man like that is HARD to find but focus on more positive people who don't care what others think, you'll find him and you'll be happy that you do. Hope this helped!

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    • It did help very much! I don't want someone in my life who can't handle me having money and material things and being a hard worker. But I also don't want a man that won't allow me to pay for my own things and buy dinner once in a while, it's like I need to find a steady man in the middle aha thank you for your advice!

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What Guys Said 17

  • I think the other guys have given you very good answers, and it's generally assumed by guys that a very successful woman will have impossibly high standards that he can't meet. I think that is what you're encountering to a significant extent. Of course, there are also guys who have a need to "wear the pants", and feel they can't do that with a hard-driving businesswoman.

    I think it's good that you know what you want in a guy, and there are ones out there that would be happy to date you.

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  • Most guys are intimidated by a women more successful than them self’s it’s a society thing we’re men have always been depicted to be the ones that make more than women so when a man makes less than a girl it brings there moral down not all of us though I like successful women shows they know what they want and there self motivated but that might be cause I also make a good living for my age 🤷🏻‍♂️

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    • I do think your right. Society for sure makes a impact on how men are to be providers for women. I can understand how it would be difficult

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    • Thank you kindly! And oh yes of course, men can do what women can and vice versa, however... in reality males fit better in some places and females in others. But some people can't see that! I'm glad I got to chat with you!

    • Same nice chat thanks

  • Gloat? This whole question is a humble brag.

    “I've been actively searching for a man to incorporate into my life.”

    Stop treating us like objects, we’re human beings. You can’t just “incorporate” us into your life. For fucks sake.

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    • I truly hope you aren't being serious.

      Because incorporating someone into your life doesn't make them a "object". If you were looking for a partner or have a partner you clearly incorporated or would incorporate them into your life and who you are to have a successful relationship.

      It means finding the right compatible person that works with you to have a life together. But go ahead see that as being a "object" if that's what you wish.

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    • Have fun with your house and multiple cars lmao

    • Don't worry sweetie I will!!

  • Biggest myth ever perpetuated by women. Here's the reason why men don't wanna date rich business women:

    1. Women are hypergamous and only date on their level or higher. So guys see it as a waste of time because she'll leave anyway for a guy in her income bracket.

    2. Some guys want a family in the future most rich women are old and will struggle to conceive kids or they are simply just career driven she'll either not want kids or even worse feed them formula , leave them in day care and basically become a part time parent leaving the child to nannies to raise her kids. This is a turn off to some people. However there are some women who take sabbaticals and as the child gets older go back to their careers full time but these womwn are in the minority.

    3. Money and career isn't as attractive to women as it is to men. I get women like a guy with lots of cash and has his stuff together but men aren't necessarily attracted to the same things. There are far more important things to guys like personality and femininity etc...

    4. Some rich people like to show off their wealth and success which is a turn off.

    So in short no guys aren't intimidated by rich chicks.

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    • 1. Not true. I don't care if a man has more money then I do as I can support my own lifestyle and don't need him to do it for me. I want someone who will care about me not someone who will have to pay my bills.

      2. I'm 22, i think im still within the "young" category to have a family and a future. I also run my own buisness so I make my own hours and time for things important to me.

      3. Wouldn't it be smarter to have a woman who can stand on her own two feet so you dont need to try and do that for her ontop of your own life?

      4. I get that, but I like I said I won't bring it up unless people ask what I do when speaking to them.

      In short some men are intimidated yes and some are not. My question was why are the men who do get intimidated feeling that way in the first place.

    • I kind of answered your question we dont get intimidated we just get turned off. You sound too good to be true. No women is like you then. If everything you saying is legit then you may be very good partner. I guess you'll have to gain the dudes trust.

  • I'd date you. I also have a couple cars and a three unit apartment building.

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    • Aha, I appreciate that! :)

    • Some of the fellas appear to have taken offense to your vernacular. Seem a bit angry and bitter in their response. I'm enjoying the whole thing immensely:)

    • Me too, I can say some of the immaturity is making me laugh. Perhaps they were just too intimidated by the question to handle it like a grown up. Lol I'm glad you can find the humor in it as well :)

  • Maybe it's not the status of success, but your perception of "incorporating" someone into your life that turns guys off

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    • Nobody appreciates a condescending attitude

    • I don't know why guys are getting their balls in a bind by the word incorporating.

      I've explained it before and I'll do it again.

      When you have someone in your life your incorperating them into it. your taking your own life you have on your own and making them a part of it by letting them into everything you do and therefore including them in everything you are to have a happy relationship.

      Maybe if you had another perception of a word you wouldn't be so defensive about it.

    • Obviously, we have very different ideas of what it means to be defensive.

  • insecure boys do that, not men. Why get intimidated by others success, be happy for them and try to learn from them to build your own successful life. in my opinion beeing intimidated or jelly is a horrible trait that I despise in any person.

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    • lost many "friends" to jealousy, which is why I hate it so much 😋

    • I can relate!! Makes a lot of sense. Some people just can't deal I guess :)

  • Only insecure boys find successful women a turn-off

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  • Because what's gonna keep you interested in the guy if you're more succesful. You'll most likely end the relationship early and look for a rich man anyway.

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    • Not true in my opinion.

      I don't need a rich man in my life. I need a man with a steady head and a decent personality. I'm a buisness owner not a celebrity, i dont look at peoples money as how worthy they are it's simply the act of being upset over a woman having money that I was curious about.

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    • So then how else must a guy sweep you off your feet?

    • Has to be someone with a good heart and a good personality. Be respectable to others and want to have a future.

  • Never felt intimidated by a woman's education or career success.

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    • That's great!

      I didn't mean to categorise all men. I know not every single man does this but just by my current experience. I was curious as to why this was a reaction.

  • Because most of them tend to be arrogant

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  • We don't, but we do get irritated by bitches.

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    • I'm sure "bitches" get irritaded with you to 😊

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    • One is to commute on the busy highways and take a mileage beating, one is a personal car. I don't need two cars. I have two cars.

    • Just curious. I know some of folks have a regular car and a track car to do laps of Nurburgring at the weekend. I don't aspire to it but I can understand the appeal.

  • Because successful women are just like every other women, they all want a man who's above them in every category. Being successful doesn't eliminate female hypergamy.

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    • I don't care if someone has more money then me or makes more then i do.

      I know that I can support my own life and lifestyle so I don't really need someone above me doing it for me. It's simply a level mindset and a half decent personality thats hard to find it seems.

  • I've never felt this way but I realise that a lot of guys do. It's partially because traditionally guys are expected to be more successful than their partners. It's also in a man's nature to want to feel as though his partner is somewhat physically supported by his provisions, thats a psychological phenomenon that would be difficult to alter. Funnily enough there've also been studies which show that women are often unsatisfied by men who are less successful than themselves though there are non-trivial exceptions in both cases. Unfortunately, due to your inability to single handedly alter human psychology you must face the reality that your success makes you extremely difficult to date and that your only options are the few men who are more successful than you and the outliers who are, for whatever reason, comfortable being less successful than you are. I do sincerely hope that your difficulty does not persist and that you do not give up.

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    • I'm too hard headed to give up. I've come this far so I my as well keep trucking :) i appriciate the response and what you said was very well spoken. It makes total and complete sense. Thank you

  • Guys like to be in charge if you got nicer things he will feel like you don’t really need him and get insecure and it’ll be hard to take it to the next level.

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    • It does make sense. Now that I'm hearing it from others aswell it is hard with society etc with the "man must provide" label. I'm sure it must be hard.

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    • Of course, I appreciate it and it does make sense.

    • Good, I’m glad. I try. A little.

  • "I've been actively searching for a man to incorporate into my life"

    That one line tells me why you're unsuccessful.

    FYI, , successful women find husbands/bf every day. Almost every successful woman I know is married so , you personality might be the problem.

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    • Go ahead and explain

    • FYI, I never said a successful woman can't find a husband or boyfriend. And I'm glad your friends can find someone. But doesn't mean that men don't get intimidated so I'm simply asking why. But you wish to go on the offense and try and personally blame me without knowing me past how I'm asking a question. So I'd appreciate if you explained your reasoning.

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