Why do some girls feel uncomfortable letting guys pay the full expense on the first date, and others expect him to?

I've met girls who just won't accept my offer to get the bill. I mean its nice to offer to chip in, but sometimes i just want to treat her. Chances are, if i want to pay, it means either i really am interested, or/and i see a second date coming, and i might let her foot the bill for that one. Im sensible enough to not choose super expensive places, so...

And I have seen girls who expect the guy to pay. That really puts me off, like i dont mind paying, but if she insists that i pay or doesn't explain why you want me to pay, i dont see why i should spend more on someone who doesn't have common courtesy to at least offer to help out.

And before i get bashed, i do believe that people from both genders are guilty.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's because society is in this transitional stage where more and more women are pushing for equal rights but not all of them are their yet.

    My advice for your next date, basically say something like:

    "Hey in this day and age people are easily offended and I'm here with you, so obviously offending you is not on my agenda. With so much talk of gender equality happening I just wanted to throw this out there to make things less awkward later. I would love to pay for our meal tonight, but I also completely respect and have no issue with you paying for your own."


Most Helpful Guy

  • Different people have different prefences and expectations. It works best if it's discussed in advance.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • I guess it's just how they have been raised and what culture they live in. I've been raised to carry my own weight and pay for my own things.

  • I am this person & there are number of reasons why.

    First of all I’ve always been independent and everything I’ve ever got in life I’ve got because of myself. Because of this when I go out on dates or even friends try to offer to pay or give me money it makes me feel very uncomfortable and awkward. Mainly because I’m not used to it.

    Secondly, I also don’t want the guy to get the wrong idea, many guys I’ve gone out on dates with who have insisted on paying the majority of them expect something in return (sexually) or get very angry and horrible with you when you don’t want to carry on dating.

    I’m with you on the first date thing, even though I always insist on splitting the bill I also think it’s good when a guy offers to pay, to me it makes me thinks he’s a gentleman and brought up with good manners. If the guy doesn’t accept splitting the bill after insisting a few times, I generally get a good feeling that he is keen for a second date and will typically at that point say I’ll pay or treat them next time

    • I mean if she really wants to pay for the date i dont mind either, just that i will make sure i pay for the next date.

      But srsly. Expecting sex for paying for the date is like turning her into a prostitute. Its fucking stupid.

    • i mean i will always offer to pay but when the girl offers too its just a sign that she doesn't take people, me included, for granted.

  • Traditions are changing over time. That's basically the size of it.


What Guys Said 1

  • Cause some women are looking for a partner and some are super conservative or looking for a sugar daddy.


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