Would you bother to have a 2nd date if you got on but felt no chemistry?

So you go on a date with someone and you get on well, but you don't feel any spark or that connected and the attraction isn't all that strong? (you don't find them unattractive but you don't really feel it)
would you still carry on to see them again? even though they didn't "wow" you.
Would you bother to have a 2nd date if you got on but felt no chemistry?
  • Yes, personally i'd still want to go on a 2nd date.
    Vote A
  • No, if the vibe doesn't feel right i wouldn't bother.
    Vote B
  • I'd go on one more date, and if i still feel the same way end it there.
    Vote C
  • I don't know what a spark or chemistry is.
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|2
2750

Most Helpful Guys

  • a lot of people think that chemistry needs to be this instant magnetic attraction that strikes like lightning... I don't know why... Chemistry sometimes takes a little bit of time before you feel it. Some of the most profound chemical reactions in science are slow

    1|2
    0|0
    • I've heard that, though personally thats not once happened with me.

    • You might be surprised how many people logic themselves out of relationships... You have to be ready in order for it to happen

  • Yes. On a first date, there are many things going on, sometimes things are a bit stressed, and it can be difficult to relax enough to truly enjoy being with someone. At times, it takes a few shared laughs and few lingering moments of looking into each other's eyes before you start to feel the sparkle. If I didn't really like the person, a second date would be a waste of time, but I have had second dates where the spark suddenly appeared, so. . . in my experience, give it a second chance before you pull the plug on someone who you otherwise really like.

    4|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'd give it one more go, but if it was still the same, I'd drop it. I usually feel chemistry instantly if there is any. And I'm not about to waste either of our time if the spark isn't there.

    2|1
    0|1
    • "I usually feel chemistry instantly if there is any"
      same, I've either felt it right away within first date or never.

    • Good luck with players 😉

  • Yes I would and did. I think a first date is always scary. And sometimes the other person (or maybe me as well) gets so nervous that the sparks don't fly. My mom said it could grow so I gave it a second chance. But after the second time I still felt nothing, only awkwardness. I did make it very clear after the first one that I didn't feel anything, but was willing to give it another chance. In my case at the second date, nothing happened. But I'm still great friends with him.

    I think first dates are a bit too short to really get to know someone. Give it some time and see if you feel more comfortable, Chemistry or w. e. at a second date. If the second felt better than the first, then go on a third and so on. Sometimes it needs time to grow.

    1|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 48

  • Yes I would. I think we often write People off too quickly.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I would try one more but thats it

    3|0
    0|0
  • I think attaction is not required at first but it's the personality and what they like, and it depends on how many strikes they got that night. But I'd think if you already were thinking about that then, it's probably time to thank him and move on but sometimes second dates can surprise you too

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would yes
    I think people highly overvalue this so-called spark or chemistry it fades with time anyway

    1|1
    0|0
    • it does but without it, it doesn't feel exciting and should be at the beginning no?

    • Show All
    • Yes, i know what you mean, luckily i've got to know myself now so know my emotions well.

    • Good for you
      Self awareness is in short supply these days

  • I wouldn't gave a judgment on the "spark" question in a single date, and also not in a second one. If this phenomen is persistent, yes i would break it off. But after the 1st or 2nd date, is too fast in my opinion.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes I will usually schedule a 2nd date because there are lots of reasons why there were no sparks on the 1st date. Obviously she could turn it down and that ends it, but after the 2nd date is a good time to continue or part ways.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It depends. Some people can be shy and take awhile to open up, but if the conversation is constantly filled with small talk and if I’m the one always having to initiate then I’d end it.

    Physical attraction matters to a degree, but if we don’t click then we don’t click.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm not sure. It does seem kind of pointless, but when I've gone on dates and not felt that spark, it's normally because they've been boring or put me off somehow.

    I think, having said that, on balance I wouldn't bother.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No harm in trying again. If you got on, it'll be a pleasent evening regardless so nothing to lose.
    I would still be looking at same time, eggs in one basket n all.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd give it one more go for sure. A lot of things like nerves can happen on a first date.

    There would have to be a dealbreaker like a fake LV bag for me to say no :D

    1|0
    0|0
  • Only if I thought there was potential, having actually met her and talked with her. Maybe one of us was just tired that night - it's happened before and I regretted not asking for another date.

    2|0
    0|0
  • If I didn't feel any chemistry at all, nothing more then barely friendship. Sorry but I'm not much of an extrovert as it is, so I'd probably cross a 2nd date off.

    1|0
    0|0
  • first date could have just went wrong. we are human and things change. Why do you think it is that boys and girls from diff fams that grow up together fall for each other. Simply spending time and bonding

    1|0
    0|0
  • My rule generally is to have at least 2 dates unless there's something really off about the lady I'm seeing. The first dates I found there's not generally chemistry per se as it is whether or not the conversation flows. If she gives up information readily, doesn't ask how much I make (this happened with 3 different women on the 1st date.. lol), and there's a lot of smiling and laughing then it's a success. You need the second date to see whether your initial contact was indicative of her and her personality or if the first date was mediocre then it gives you an opportunity to weigh future options.

    Chemistry I think happens after that initial contact but you need at least two dates to determine whether it is even possible with that person; or at least I do.

    1|0
    0|0
    • who would ask that and expect you NOT to be offended?

    • I was shocked when the first woman asked and didn't go to date #2 with her. The second one less so and the third it was, oh okay, I know this routine. It's not offensive to me but is pretty rude. I never ask them and don't really care tbh; money isn't important, the person is the important. Ladies asking how much I make don't progress to the next date. You do eventually get there, but not for a while.

    • i think self sufficiency is important, yes. but you can ususally determine that easily. salary to me is off the table unless we are co mingling finance!!! not on date ONE

  • Id definitely go for at least a second date. One date isn't enough to tell, they might have had a bad day, be nervous at first, not feeling great, etc.

    1|1
    0|0
  • That spark can develop as you both relax and familiarise yourselves, if it doesn't at least you'll likely be enjoying yourself again.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Yeah, it's only first date. Could be a lot of awkwardness so. If I see she is trying, I'll deffo do it because I can see she is still putting the effort

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes. I've reached the point in my life where compatibility is far more important to me than "chemistry."

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think there is no point when you like someone enough you just know and that initial attraction is important

    1|0
    0|0
  • I went A - I still like them so at worst I gain a friend, at best it clicks later and I get an SO

    1|0
    0|0
  • Question is would you go on 4 dates if you felt there was no connection after the first? My date did that. I felt like there was a connection though

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sometimes the first date sucks but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a second date. a lot of times it just takes to develop a connection.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I give it a three strike role. I mean the whole point of dates is to get to know the person after all. If you can't find any chemistry after three I say leave it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you dont feel a spark, but yoi get along, then friendzone it is

    1|0
    0|0
  • Possibly to see if maybe we just needed to know each other better first

    1|0
    0|0
  • It is unlikely. First impressions can be a turn-off.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yeah gotta give them a chance, first dates are always a bit more awkward

    1|0
    0|0
  • What the hell. Give it another shot. What do you have to loose?

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sparks can trigger on the second or even third date from what I've heard.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd give it another shot but at the end of the day if we don't have chemistry I'd have to end it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    18

What Girls Said 25

  • No, chemistry is the most important. The relationship turns into a friendship after that and obviously that isn't fair to the guy to continue seeing him. He probably wants something real so I wouldn't lead him on and not say anything. That's cruel. I would say something to him which will most likely shatter him but it's better to rip the bandaid off now than later. I know for sure that will be the last time we talk. It's better that way so we aren't wasting each others time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Sure. People are typically stressed/nervous on the first date, so you might not feel a connection because of that. The second date is more relaxed, and therefore they might feel more comfortable around you, or you around them and that's when you'll feel the spark.

    But if that's not the case on the 2nd date, I'd politely end things after.

    1|0
    0|1
  • Yes, why not?
    First dates can be a little awkward if your date is shy.
    But on the second date you can let loose a little.
    Plus, how are you going to know if there’s chemistry when all you do during a first date is talk about whatever comes to mind.

    2|3
    0|0
  • I would, I did that with my ex and it was great between us for a couple of months until he was a narcissist gaslighter. I’m still learning to be on my own after that abusive relationship. So actually maybe it isn’t a good thing lol I took a chance on him and then Love eventually came after a couple of dates.

    1|3
    0|0
    • All full blooded narcissists always gaslight amongst other stereotypical thing's in their pattern. they are good att making first impression and sparks, especially with empaths that's their main prey.
      Hope you move past that unpleasant road bump.

    • Thank you! Yes I’m ur typical empath and I still catch myself wanting to help him and hoping he’ll come back. But thank you! Time heals everything I guess

  • Absolutely not. I’ll fine an excuse to not go on a date with them. Met a guy online who was a really cool person but he was too short (looked like he is shorter than me) I really enjoyed his company but since there was no physical chemistry I didn’t accept a second date.

    1|0
    0|2
  • Yes definitely. If he was nice and we otherwise enjoyed each other's company that is.
    Sometimes the chemistry comes naturally with time. Sometimes the "wow" is nothing more than lust and I'd much rather have friendship than lust.
    That said, if the chemistry never came I'd break things off.

    1|0
    0|0
  • A lot can happen in a first date. Most notable, nerves. If I got along well but didn’t yet feel chemistry, I would give it another shot. Second dates can be more relaxed and hopefully some passion and chemistry peeks out.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No. Never. I wouldn't even go ona fiost date if he hasn't shown me good vibes.
    I have never gone to a date. If I do then I should bve head over heel in lust with him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm guilty of doing this, I would just keep a guy around until someone I actually have chemistry with comes along then drop them for that person...

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would go to a second date if it was really worth it or maybe I weren't sure if I like him or not and I need more time to figure it out

    1|0
    0|0
  • sometimes t takes more than one date to spark the attraction you need

    2|1
    0|0
  • No. My world knows no grey, either you're in or you're out.
    I know it's an extreme behaviour, but makes my life way easier than most.

    1|0
    0|0
  • If I have no spark and still feel comfortable, I'd go for a second date... If I don't feel comfortable I wouldn't.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yes because I think I need the right moment to feel chemistry

    1|0
    0|0
  • This has happened before, went to the second date and still nothing. Waste of time

    1|0
    0|1
  • Yeah I try more than once cuz if we get along then we can click

    1|0
    0|0
  • For me to sleep with a woman I’d gotta have complicate trust.

    1|1
    0|0
  • 3rd option.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yeah I personally would

    1|1
    0|0
  • No. Wouldn't bother

    1|0
    0|0
  • No..

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd give them one more chance.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No, I wouldn't lead them on.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would because I don't go on dates often so I wouldn't want to let another guy go. Also, attraction takes time to develop and I hardly feel it after just meeting the person once.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nope. If they don’t interest me it ain’t gonna cut it

    1|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...