How to deal with my bf’s insecurity?

So, I am in my senior year of college. My boyfriend just graduate in May. He now has a full-time job. However, sometimes he gets insecure when I tell him about the things i plan to do/want to go to while I’m here. I figure, it’s my senior year, why not try new things? I told him I wanted to join a sorority, and he tried to be happy for me. But, he made a joke about how sorority girls get “banged” a lot, and that I’m gonna become “like a sorority girl” (which I guess he assumes is stuck up, sloppy and not very moral). But, I just want to join to meet new people since I came in as a transfer last year and didn’t make many friends. Anyways. I got upset. He said he was sorry he said “i just get insecure sometimes because you’re there at college, and I’m not”. I told him he doesn’t need to, because I have never cheated and I think it’s wrong to do. That I care for him and want to be with him. I won’t forget him!

I also told him sometimes i get insecure because he’s at a job, where he can make close friendships with other women. Also, he is moving to a new area. I just try hard not to show it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Y'all got trust issues at the core. Really, no one should be worrying about other girls/guys when in a relationship or else the relationship doesn't make much sense. Y'all need to agree on the fact that neither of you will cheat and move on. But the dude got a point. If you hang out with a group, you become like it. If that's how sorority girls are, then imma worry myself If it was me. I guess just don't do the things that will get the other one jealous, and always think whether doing something will make him insecure.

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    • No. Not all sorority girls are like that. I know several who are good girls, who don’t cheat or want to. I am joining to meet new girls and make friendships with them, also to meet new people and put myself out there. I am kind of a shy person, so I am trying to step out of my comfort zone. I think it’s terrible to assume someone who is in a sorority is a terrible person. I am also in an honor co-Ed fraternity. There are people there who cheat on partners. So, someone can’t really judge like that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • This sounds like basic worry that comes with relationships so I guess good and constant communication could really help.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You should work on a calendar to schedule all of the times that you will try to visit with each other over the final year of college. This may reassure him about your level of commitment to him.

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  • Just break up. You want to be a party girl. Party girls don't need a boyfriend. Sororities aren't for meeting new "friends", just for partying.

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    • No they aren’t. They are for making friends. Especially the one I am thinking of joining. Also, my boyfriend goes out to bars and parties. A person can enjoy a lifestyle without being amoral and a cheater.

  • leave him and do your thing. Do not let someone else stop you from experiencing life and stop you from doing the things you want to experience.

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    • I just worry that his insecurity will become stronger. It sometimes hurts me if I talk about something in my life, and he seems less enthusiastic because he’s insecure about it. I’m afraid it’ll become me trying to break free, and him holding on tighter.

    • leave him and do your thing. are you seriously going to let anther individual influence how you live your life... your choice.

What Girls Said 1

  • Trust is base of any real relationships. these get over one or the other day if there's no trust. so it is important to have mutual trust and understanding. if u dont share such bond its better to stop dragging things and end it. well! Its just my opinion think over it.

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