Boy I like likes me back but he already has a friends with benefits/unofficial girlfriend?

Background - The boy that I'm into has had a thing with this girl for a few months now. She left to college (local) & so they only see each other whenever she's off from school. They hook up anytime she comes back home & everyone knows they're a "thing". They haven't made themselves official so they're basically friends with benefits. The weird part is that they call each other best friends. I've heard that she's been talking to guys while she's been away. I mean technically she can right... She doesn't have a boyfriend.

My friend told the boy I like, that I'm into him. He was pretty surprised when he found out. He told her he couldn't imagine someone like me, liking him. He was pretty happy about it.

He came to my friend looking for advice. He told her he wanted to get to know me / talk to me more. He also established that he's definetely interested in me / into me as well. The only dilemma is that he's not sure how the girl he's "with" (who's in college at the moment) would feel about it. He said he wouldn't want to upset her.

Although he said he's interested in me as well, I don't want him to feel like he has to talk to me. If he's happy with the girl in college then I'm ok with that & I completely understand. My thing is that they aren't official, they really only see each other when she comes back & it's to hook up. So is it really much of a relationship? I just don't want to get my hopes up. Him finding out that I liked him wasn't supposed to happen but now that he knows, I have to be careful. What are your opinions about the situation?

I'm definetely not someone who's going to make a move, especially not if he knows AND has a thing with another girl. I've noticed he's been talking to me more and coming around me a lot more than usual. He really does want to get to know me and I can see he's been trying to do so.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It depends on how comfortable you would be with it, but friends with benefits is not an exclusive relationship, so if you are interested in him you should tell him you'd be willing to date him if he gives up the friends with benefits with the other Girl.

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What Girls Said 1

  • This is way too long to read the whole thing, but the bottom line is there is some kind of relationship there. You should not interfere unless they break up.

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    • If he's the one who's choosing to initiate contact/ conversation with me, then I'm in no way interfering.

    • I'm also not sure where they stand which is why I stated I am going to be careful as I'm not someone who will make a move

    • If he hits on you, ask him honestly what the deal is with her.

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