What if your ideal is beyond your ability no matter how hard you work at it? Do you lower your standards or do you just stay alone forever?
I’m not asking these for me. I’m asking what process the rest of you go through?
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I never looked for anything in advance -- very pragmatic, I guess. I like what I see and go for it, and if the dates go well, then I might try something more serious, and if that works out, we might try living together, and so on. My only standard is that I really fall for the girl and that she does to me, and that we get along far more often than not, and enjoy each other's company more often than not -- simple, but took a while to find one who could consistently do that.
As for trying to match some ideal, I didn't really have an ideal of a kind that had any defined shape. I couldn't describe a dream woman in advance -- she wouldn't be so interesting since she wouldn't be real. So I preferred the real thing in front of me and preferred to decide after I got to know it a little, imperfections and all. Usually I feel like I'm really into a girl if I even like her imperfections and character flaws and wouldn't change a thing about her.
As for me, I tried to keep my shit together, stay in shape, dress well, that sort of thing. But I never thought it in terms of standards. I just wanted to be as appealing as possible to maximize my chances of finding one who would appeal to me as much as possible who'd agree to go on a date with me.
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