Crying when I fall for someone And Feeling like i'm not good enough for love Because i'm mentally sick?

I don't know why this happens to me & i hope im not the only one, But Whenever i fall in love with someone, have a crush i cry myself to sleep so many times because of that person. i think i have abandon issues & I never feel good enough for them And i always have thoughts that i don't deserve love and that i'm too sensitive My emotions are so strong When i'm down i get really depressed And when i'm happy i'm so happy. I also know that i have eating problems (not diagnosed) But i have days where i dont eat or count calories Or sometimes i binge then purge. I've become addicted to fasting i want to be so skinny that you can see my bones. i dont know. why But ever since i started to feel these things my eating issues happened. Someone said i have BPD But i don't want to self diagnose cause i don't get therapy. I used to cut my self last year and still have the urges to do it sometimes, But why do i get so emotional when i really like someone. I try everything to make them happy but it never feels good enough. I always think that they'll eventually leave or that i have too much issues to be loved by someone. When i was like 14 i was almost raped by a taxi driver and that really fucked me up. I'm probably being dramatic But i just don't know what to do anymore & What my problem is.. I feel things too much & i just want to hurt myself 24.7 of it i dont know why.. I'm really good at hiding this no one knows about it i suffer in silence & Don't know how to explain it in person to people And No ones probably gonna answer this because im prob being overdramatic but oh well

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  • You might want to speak to a psychologist about that one

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