This might sound weird, but it seems like my best friend and I can only close the awkwardness if we date?

I don't know if this is something people can even recognize, but there is a small barrier between my best friend and I. We have known each other for four years, but recently he has admitted that he has liked me the entire four years and still does. The situation is a little complex. He used to be a really confusing guy and therefore, I never considered being involved with him. However, now, he is being transparent with me, and I have felt things before that I have not. I have felt a twinge of jealousy with him being around another girl (nothing serious, but subtly at one point it was there). This confused me because I just didn't really know how to interpret. Then, my best friend says he's not even sure if he wants to get out of the friend zone because in general, he's afraid to lose a solid relationship (whether dating or friendship). But, finally, I think deep down there is still some awkwardness and I do feel that it comes from potentially some sexual tension. I think maybe the actual step to move away from that and forward might be to actually date or break this friend zone. I'm honestly just kind of unsure. Thoughts?


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What Guys Said 2

  • talk to him about it, if he decides he wants to give it a shot and you do too just go on a date if it's good and you like it keep going if you don't just move back to being friends. also if and when you go on a date don't think about him as a friend but as a potential partner because after all that's what you're wanting to try.

    • That's the thing though. I have asked him what he wants and why he would tell me that he likes me. He responds with "I don't know" or "I'm too scared to be out of the friend zone". He just doesn't have any clear answer.

    • he definitely wants to try it but he's afraid to move too quickly and break the already existing relationship between you two.

  • I'm guessing he likes you, and says he doesn't know for sure if he wants to get out of the friend zone, because he's unsure of how you feel. He most likely wants to try being more than friends. And it sounds like you do too. If you are interested in being more than friends, talk it over with him, and I think he will agree with you. But you both need to consider, once you are more than friends, and if it doesn't work, the friendship may never be as good again. Though not necessarily. I'd say go for more.

    • I know he still likes me, but I'm not really sure if he wants to be out of the friend zone. I thought so, but he's been labeling me as a friend lately. I'm not sure if its a dense mechanism from being scared to get out of the friend zone or he thought telling me that he liked me would elevate the tension and then we could go back to being friends. Every time I ask him what he wants, its never a clear answer. If he leans close to me, he'll say "Sorry, too close" and pull away, but then he's always attentive to me.. I'm lost by his actions.

    • Asker: With this last description you gave of the situation, I've changed my mind. It seems better to remain friends, and not push, probably not even discuss, anything more than being friends. It makes no sense to bring up the issue repeatedly, and keep getting vague answers. That just makes for repeated frustration, and may damage the friendship. Honestly, you deserve a clear answer, and he won't give it to you. So back off, enjoy the friendship. I hope there has not been too much damage for it to be as good as before. And don't wait around for him to change his mind, as it may never. Be open to starting a new relationship with a new guy, if an opportunity comes about.

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