First dates and paying?

What do you think?

I just came back from a date (it went well!) And I got the opportunity to flabbergast my date because I asked if we could split the bill, we went to a steakhouse.

For me, first dates means getting to know each other. I'm there to get to know the person, act cute and make cheesy awkward ass jokes, etc. As a girl who knows what she likes to eat, I always end up getting the more... pricer things. I'm not a greedy person, I just don't hide the fact that I love prime rib, or seafood or if I'm in the mood for ribs, I like to get a full rack cause I love leftovers ( my love for good ribs is one that can't be silenced) so I ALWAYS make sure I bring enough. Even movie dates, I love it if one buys the tickets the other buyssnacks. I just hate trying to enjoy myself and always worry about what to get or worry about who's paying, I just wanna split it and enjoy the others company.

What are your thoughts?
  • Asker has to pay
    Vote A
  • Men pays always
    Vote B
  • Split the bill
    Vote C
  • Other
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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37

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that's cool but usually I insist on paying for the first date since it's my idea. Not only am I the one asking, I'm the one planning, making reservations, and usually I'm the one who is more interested in the girl than she might be interested in me (I picked her out, after all and took the initiative to ask).

    You might be an exception but most girls I've found respond better to that... not just insisting on paying for the date, but leading on the date, showing initiative, coming up with ideas of where to go instead of asking her where she wants to go... leading, basically. And so I learned to lead girls around on dates -- paying is a part of that.

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    • A girl would actually throw me off my element if she insisted on paying. It's like messing up my whole plan to lead her and guide her... like are we supposed to be like "friends" now and just ask each other where we want to go? I thought I'm in charge in this scenario. I don't know how to impress girls when I'm not in charge.

    • Show All
    • Modern dating perplexes me that way.. I might be a dinosaur. Like friends with benefits. I've slept with friends before but not the way people describe.. I asked them on dates and lead them around and seduced them... I was never like, "Hey girl, wanna have sex? Your place or mine?" That's amazing that people can do that... but it's so different from how I think about courtship.

    • "Oh, you're having sex with Joe tonight? How about tomorrow? Bob? I see. Do you have any room in your schedule to have sex with me? Lemme know when you are free! I'll bring pizza!" Like that -- amazing that guys can get away with it. I have no idea how to approach things that way -- like casual sex is no problem, but still my whole developed approach is ask girl out, date, lead, pay, seduce.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I would most likely just pay for my own stuff. Otherwise, if I would expecting the guy to pay I couldn't "allow" myself to order anything I would actually enjoy but would get the cheapest options possible instead. I guess thats kind of a weird habit but I also do the same when a friend or even a relative invites me for dinner.

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What Guys Said 6

  • That's fine, but it would be better if you'd tell him in advance that you want to pay for your meal.

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  • I prefer to pay, due to being raised that way. I feel it's just something that a gentleman does, and I'm happy to do it.

    That being said, if she asks to split the bill (rather than just offering to be polite), I'll respect her wishes to do so. I understand that some women prefer to split it, and I don't want her to feel like I'm expecting anything, simply because I planned on paying.

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  • I chose other... the 1st date, i'll pay, the 2nd and 3rd date, we will split the bill and if we have agreed on everything and our relationship became serious and i knew that this girl will become my future wife "a housewife", then she will never pay or split the bill again, THE MAN will pay, she eats and enjoys her time with me...

    She will taught that her man is the one who feeds her, keeps her healthy and provide for her...

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  • I normally pay, and expect the girl to get what she wants to eat. I would feel bad, if she held back on eating, just because I was paying. If the ony way she could feel good, was to split the bill, then that would be okay. I don't have to pay, I just prefer to.

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  • In my world the men pay unless she says she will split, but my friend said his girlfriend surprised him on his bday and paid for him, so I think it's fine if she pays. As long as they agree

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  • You got the right idea, nowadays most girls have money, so splitting the bill it is. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think it's between the two people. Whatever works for them.

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  • Split the bill

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