Boyfriend flirting with coworker?

My boyfriend works at a bar & grill in a college town and more than half of his coworkers are female. I don't have any problem of that, but it's uncomfortable at times with some of the women coworkers he tells me about, especially this one woman. Him and I have been together for 3 years, and this female coworker has a boyfriend. Anyways, he tells me stories about how work was and majority of the conversation he brings up that coworker. Some of the things he has told me about her is a dead give away that they are flirting and I can tell it's mutual flirting, not just him, which is even more worrisome. I've called him out out on it before, it's been more in a joking manner that "sounds like your flirting with her" so on, not trying to make a hugeeee deal about it. But deep down it makes me really uncomfortable. I've told him about this before too, and his response is that he's dating me, so I have nothing to worry about. I've also told him that it's weird how they talk to each other and he said that I just sound really jealous, and why am I so jealous, etc. On top of stories he has told me (which he thinks is no big deal) they also message each other on facebook and talk on snapchat. I've seen where they have hour long conversations, I have no idea of what but it's weird. I don't know what to do at this point? I've told him it makes me uncomfortable how he always talks to her, especially in a flirting way and how he always talks about her and his response is I have nothing to worry about. What should I do? What would you do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I know this is difficult, but you're going to have to let him do his thing. He's doing something that makes you uncomfortable and therefore you want to tell him to stop doing it so you don't feel uncomfortable anymore, but here's my logic... Do you want a man that is faithful to you only because you tell him to be faithful meanwhile he's thinking about other women? Or do you want a man who's faithful to you because he actually wants to be faithful?

    You've got to let him do his thing, you can't control him. If you're together with him, you've got to trust him. With that being said, here's what I think you should do...

    Bring it up again, tell him that it feels like he's flirting with this girl and if he even attempts to say you're jealous, shut him down and tell him that it's not jealousy, you just expect some respect in this relationship and let him know that you're prepared to leave if he's not going to give you that. This way it shows him that you've got your own life, he isn't the best thing since sliced bread and if he's not going to take you and your relationship seriously then he can be prepared to lose you.

    After you've had this conversation with him, don't bring it up again and just observe his behavior. Hopefully he puts in effort to reassure you that he's not flirting with her, but if you feel like he's not being completely upfront, don't be afraid to dump him and teach him a lesson.

    • Wow I wish I could thumbs this up 100 times. Thank you for explaining a different perspective on this. I appreciate the advice & definitely will try it! (:

    • Haha, no problem. All the best :)

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