Why did he say this to me?

I've met this great guy. We have amazing chemistry (emotionally and physically), similar sex drives (which is hard for me to find bc I have a high drive), he's always missing me and wanting me come over, we cook each other dinner, he is always affectionate towards me, he's introduced me to his friends and shown my pictures to his coworkers. But last night, we were holding each other and kissing and talking, and I said that I thought we were going in a great direction. He replied that he agreed and that he hoped he kept wanting a relationship. And I was shocked. I asked him what he meant and he said he can get finicky and sad and when that happens he pushes people away. He would not talk much more about it, but I told him I understand and we talked about our experiences with depression. I asked if he thought he'd change his mind about wanting something with me and he said no, but it gives me so much anxiety. I am actually falling for him... I have not felt this way since my first boyfriend. We just always have so much fun together and now I am scared of losing that. He's promised to tell me if he starts feeling that way and to let me in and be there-- as long as I do the same for him. He said he was sorry that he said anything about that, that he really really likes me and where we're going. But I have a tendency to overthink (as you can see), and now I just feel like what we have is uncertain.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This is why consistent communication and open and honest communication is important in successful relationships. Over time people change and feelings fluctuate. You can be in a relationship with someone, be in love with them... yet kinda be angry with them or even get bored. Keep talking to each other and if negative feelings pop up work through them together. If the goal is to get married and live a long time together you need to be realistic in knowing that feelings may burn hot then cold then medium and all you can do is communicate with each other and work on the relationship together.

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    • I’m just afraid that negative feelings will come and he’ll jump ship without trying to work through it. I’m scared of getting my heart broken again

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    • I tried talking about it, and he promised that if he got those feelings he’d tell me and let me be there for him. I don't know it just really scares me

    • Good job talking to him. It’s ok the feel fear, only time will make that go away. You know how to manage multiple emotions at the same time, just don’t dwell on the fear. Sounds like you are both in a happy place, enjoy it!

  • He’s full of shit. He doesn’t want a relationship with you personally and never will. He’s only with you for sex. He gets it free with no commitment and is still free to fuck others. Get smart and tell this ass “well when you do make up your mind let me know IF I’m still single” and dump him.

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    • But he calls me his girlfriend and is not on dating apps anymore?

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    • He’s already committed. He said that when he’s in a relationship, sometimes he gets really sad and pushes SO away and doesn’t want anything to do with a relationship which is why I’m concerned

    • Good luck

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