Most Helpful Guys
1 - Attempt negotiation and compromise.
2 - If a resolution could not be reached, determine if the piercing was a deal breaker for me and communicate said to my partner. 3 - Allow my partner to make their decision, having given them full information.
4 - If resolution I could live with was not reached in step 1, I determined this was a deal breaker and communicated such in step 2, and partner decided to move forward in step 3 with the piercing then I exercise my only remaining option and terminate the relationship.
Realistically, I find reaching step 4 unlikely as I doubt any specific piercing is going to drastically destroy one of my emotional needs in the relationship.2
I look it as ultimately, for someone to be dateable in my eyes, I need some sort of attraction to be there. If the girlfriend wants a piercing of some kind and I think they look awful, I’ll express my viewpoints towards them. I’ll say I think they look unnattractive and whatnot.
However, I would still argue that it is her decision to get the piercing or not. I can’t and won’t attempt to control her. If I explain my position, and she gets one anyway, the consequences will happen regardless. She can make her own decisions, and I believe that she can likewise brace for potential consequences as well. Every action has a consequence, and by telling her my thoughts on the subject, I did about all I could do— warning her of potential consequences: Either I don’t lose attraction and presumably stay in the relationship, or I lose attraction and break things after a point. She has a decision with her body, but I have a decision with who I want/don’t want to date.
Attraction is a complicated subject though, and her getting something like that isn’t necessarily an automatic dealbreaker. I mean— who knows what kind of “relationship-padding” (i. e. ties I’ve built with her that aid in attraction) I’ve made up to that point? Who knows how big of a turn off this hypothetical piercing is? A piercing may be a drop of water in the pond, or may be the final straw. In the end, I’d have to be in the situation to know for certain, because this kind of scenario is pretty situation specific.1
Most Helpful Girls
Depending on the piercing, I might actually leave them over it. Same with tattoos. Not necessarily against them, but as a teacher, my partner and how they carry themselves unfortunately can and will impact my career because teachers are widely criticized for just about everything.0
I argued over this with my ex a lot. I wanted piercings and tattoos and he didn't like them. i told him bluntly that he doesn't control me or my body and if i wanted to be covered head to toe in them then he couldn't stop me! :P I find it controlling if I'm told I can't do something like that just like if someone told me how to dress.