Partner wants a certain piercing that you don’t like. What will you do?

I’m not in this situation but I’ve heard of things where, for example, your bf/gf wants, let’s say, a tongue piercing and you think tongue piercings look awful. What would you do in this situation?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • 1 - Attempt negotiation and compromise.
    2 - If a resolution could not be reached, determine if the piercing was a deal breaker for me and communicate said to my partner. 3 - Allow my partner to make their decision, having given them full information.
    4 - If resolution I could live with was not reached in step 1, I determined this was a deal breaker and communicated such in step 2, and partner decided to move forward in step 3 with the piercing then I exercise my only remaining option and terminate the relationship.

    Realistically, I find reaching step 4 unlikely as I doubt any specific piercing is going to drastically destroy one of my emotional needs in the relationship.

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  • I look it as ultimately, for someone to be dateable in my eyes, I need some sort of attraction to be there. If the girlfriend wants a piercing of some kind and I think they look awful, I’ll express my viewpoints towards them. I’ll say I think they look unnattractive and whatnot.

    However, I would still argue that it is her decision to get the piercing or not. I can’t and won’t attempt to control her. If I explain my position, and she gets one anyway, the consequences will happen regardless. She can make her own decisions, and I believe that she can likewise brace for potential consequences as well. Every action has a consequence, and by telling her my thoughts on the subject, I did about all I could do— warning her of potential consequences: Either I don’t lose attraction and presumably stay in the relationship, or I lose attraction and break things after a point. She has a decision with her body, but I have a decision with who I want/don’t want to date.

    Attraction is a complicated subject though, and her getting something like that isn’t necessarily an automatic dealbreaker. I mean— who knows what kind of “relationship-padding” (i. e. ties I’ve built with her that aid in attraction) I’ve made up to that point? Who knows how big of a turn off this hypothetical piercing is? A piercing may be a drop of water in the pond, or may be the final straw. In the end, I’d have to be in the situation to know for certain, because this kind of scenario is pretty situation specific.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Depending on the piercing, I might actually leave them over it. Same with tattoos. Not necessarily against them, but as a teacher, my partner and how they carry themselves unfortunately can and will impact my career because teachers are widely criticized for just about everything.

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  • I argued over this with my ex a lot. I wanted piercings and tattoos and he didn't like them. i told him bluntly that he doesn't control me or my body and if i wanted to be covered head to toe in them then he couldn't stop me! :P I find it controlling if I'm told I can't do something like that just like if someone told me how to dress.

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What Guys Said 29

  • I wouldn't have any choice but to make it clear to them that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who actually paid some dude good money to stick a piece of metal through her tongue. If she thought that was somehow attractive (including her self-inflicted speech impediment) then I would know we weren't meant to be together.

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  • depends do they want you to have that piercing done or are they going to have it done

    If its to be done on you then it is ultimately your choice

    if they want it done to them it's their choice

    Tongue piercings are actually really good I have had it done a couple of times but due to bad luck and being rushed in to hospital the hole the bar went through healed over...

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  • i would've said to that person, you should've saw it coming. if they go through with the procedure even after their partner discusses their feelings, that sucks. a tongue ring shouldn't break a couple up, but the principle of doing something after they expressed their opinion should. there's no compromise.

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  • I just let it go and don't mention it, I mean I only like one of my partners tats as the rest look tacky and bedly drawn but if she's happy then it's all good 😊

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  • I really don't like piercings aside from the basic earrings. Even then I don't care about earrings. I don't really like tattoos either. I would hope the girl I date isn't in to those things and normally they aren't if they haven't gotten a piercing or tattoo by the age of 21.

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  • Well personally I do not like piercings much and if I had a partner that wanted to get something like that I would let them know beforehand that I do not like such things and that that I would have to consider if it is something I can live with and I would let the partner express her motivations for wanting to get one so I might decide knowing that as well

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  • I'm pretty easy going on piercings. Girlfriend got nose, then eyebrow, belly button, and her clit. I was skeptical but ended really liking the clit piercing.
    I had to draw the line when she said she was considering the bull ring. I voiced my opposition and just explained that I've seen those here and there and i have never once thought it looked attractive

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  • I'd try and persuade them not to, but if they really insisted then I'd let them go ahead and do it but I'd stand by their side regardless; it's their right to get it done if they really wanted.

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  • They can do what they like. I'll tell them my opinion but it's not up to me what they do with their body.

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  • If the partners wants to get it done. Than let it be.. Because that's he/she like... But if the partner is forcing you to get that done for his/her sake than its not right

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What Girls Said 15

  • I don't have to like it, but I'm definitely not gonna try to stop him, it's his body and I don't control him.

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  • He just wouldn't like it and I wouldn't either, they could still get it but i let them know im not feeling and would probably do less kissing or whatever because of it.

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  • Not my body, not my decision. so I'd probably just shrug it off.

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  • Dump him! I do not like piercings on me, and certainly not on him. He knows it, too!

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  • I will accept his choice. I will make my opinion known but that's it. I can't tell him what to do.

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  • Nothing I could do I guess, their body their choice.

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  • If the person who is having the peircings wants to have it n is comfortable with it the other partner should support it cz it's their body

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  • I dunno. It's their body they can do whatever they want. It's not my place to judge.

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  • It's their body

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  • I’d say no

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