Should I give this guy a chance or should I not even risk that he may be a player?

So, had a guy show a lot of interest. I had suspicions he was a player (although I fear this about lots of guys tbh). He was charming, tried to get physical fast etc. He told me he was a good guy but I had a bad gut feeling and I wasn't head over heels for him anyway, so didn't find it a problem to get rid of him. His buddy told me: "He really likes you. When he's in relationships, he's faithful, but when he's single, he's a player" - which is fine I guess - but his buddy isn't necessarily the most reliable source. When I turned him down he started dating another girl I know. She is a lot younger more attractive than me but he wasn't really into her (that's not me being arrogant - it was genuinely the case). This girl kept pressuring him to make their relationship official but he didn't want to. When we were at group outings he'd make a point of coming over to me to make sure I was OK, she didn't like that. Anyway, one time I heard them having an argument and she said to him: "Who was this girl that you had coffee with, is she the one who is the friend from high school?" And he said: "No, that's a different one." At that point - I just felt sorry for her (although she's a gossip and a bitch) but I just let it go. Anyway, now they've broken up (I thought they would) and he's really trying hard to win me again. I am in my late 20s and don't have the time to deal with players. He messages me often and does nice little gestures. I've heard guys say that he's a nice guy - but they're not necessarily the most reliable source. I get hurt easily and have a hard time letting things go as well. He is doing his best to get me. What to do?
Updates:
Oh God... the replies are a mixed bag and they mirror how I feel - the ones that say "give him a chance" AND the ones that say: "any doubt - don't go there".

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Most Helpful Guy

  • do you not see the problem honestly? you are asking if you should give this guy a chance when he's flaunting a prettier girl in front of you.

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    • He wasn't flaunting her, he was doing his best to try to minimize what was going on between them. i don't blame him for dating her - I'd said no to him at that point. She was trying to broadcast what they were doing and he was trying to keep it quiet.

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What Guys Said 4

  • No.

    A guy who is nit a player is obviously not a player. So, if you have any doubts (which you do), don't bother and move on.

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  • It seems like he is genuinely interested in you... I'd go on a few dates and see what you see. What's the harm?

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  • Give him a chance

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  • Drop the loser before he plays you like a fiddle

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