Should I text him? Or should I cancel our date?

I have been dating this guy and things are going kind of slowly. He is responsive and seems to look forward to the next date, but his texting hasn’t really increased since we started seeing each other. I generally send the first text and he responds. His responses are cute and engaging, but he just never initiates.

Yesterday I was really busy and so I didn’t text him at all. I am feeling sad because I had hoped that in the absence of me texting him he would shoot me a message of some kind himself, but he didn’t. So now I kind of want to text him myself but I feel like it makes me look desperate? We have a date planned for later this week but I am wondering if I should cancel it because he is just not all that into me?

I really like this guy, but I just don’t have the emotional energy to deal with a one-sided attraction. It’s funny because he was telling me about his dating experiences and how he feels like he tries so hard to not scare a woman off and then she just disappears. Now I’m kinda feeling the urge to disappear and it has nothing to do with him scaring me off, just that I don’t want to become attached to someone who isn’t all that into me. Should I give him that feedback?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Talk to him and give him that feedback. Let him know exactly what he needs to do differently.

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    • Thanks for your reply. So do you think I should tell him that the fact that he doesn’t initiate contact makes me feel like he isn’t all that interested? And then ask him if he’s interested and (if he says yes) tell him that I would like it if she showed that by initiating contact?

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    • Ok thank you. It is so hard to navigate the dating world. I like being direct but I feel like a lot of times the advice I get is that if you have to ask for attention early on then you'll always be unhappy...

    • If there are Problems. you usually have to address them directly, especially the girlfriend, because People, especially guys, can be completely oblivious sometimes. Since you said you like him, I thought it made sense to try to fix that issue, especially considering that is a completely reasonable complaint on your part.

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