Why are you afraid?

Everyone fears it at one point, or another.

From middleschool into adulthood.

Rejection.

... but what of are we actually afraid?

My name is Oka, and I'm a professional wingman, for both men, and women. I advise, and assist people in learning how not to be afraid. Before we can address what of we're afraid, we have to discover what fear is.

There are VERY real reasons to be afraid.

Here are some scenarios.

An armed assailant wants your wallet, or your purse. You're staring down the barrel of a pistol so close you can see the caliber. The threat is real, and you have every reason to be afraid.

You're hiking, you're alone, and cross paths with a starving mountain lion. You have every reason to be afraid.

You fall in a tiger pit at a zoo. Zoo keepers are rushing to get tranq guns, and rifles... but the tiger is only five feet away. Be afraid.

These seem outlandish.

Outside of the most extreme scenarios, freak accidents, and unlikely outcomes, odds are in your favor (especially if you're not taking late night walks down dark alleys, or lonely streets; hiking alone , or jumping into tiger pits) that you're not going to end up in these situations. I'm notnsaying these such things cannot hapoen, only that the odds are infantismal that they will.

Fear, by and large is imagined. We as people live life under the guise of "What if".

What if this? What if that?

... but what is "what if"?

What if often leads to fear... and fear is largely imagine. It is an imagined outcome of an unlikely scenario what has not yet occurred, and probably will not.

The good thing about flirting, dating, asking someone out, or revealing your feelings, is that the worse they could do is reject you.

... so what's wrong with that?

Every coin has two sides, and to get to the meat and potatoes of your fears, we have to address hypocrisy. Has someone ever asked you out, and you simply didn't feelcthat same attraction? Have you ever had to reject someone?
  • This helped me a lot, I'll read "Why are you afraid? PT. II"
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  • Thia did not help me at all. (You should message me).
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  • But I have not fear Im always calm

    - armed assaliant, I never carry cash so they can take my wallet it has my ID in it but I would ask can I have the gun

    - mountain lion, someone forgot to tell the mountain lion on hungry. If you hurt them they will leave

    - tigers, guess the mountain lions didn't fill me I would wrestle them

    See I don't live my life by fear as I have no fears or if I did I soon got ride of them

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    • I think you're missing the point, lol. Fear by and large is imagined, and the worse thing someone can ever do is say no.

      It is those imagined responses that cause hesitation. If everyone approached dating as you approach all these things, there wouldn't be a fear of rejection.

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    • Firstly, I Appreciate the spelling of the cockney accent.

      Secondly, I cannot deny you get results nor confirm also know I'm not your intended audience (most likely single introverts)

      Thirdly, I know you didn't mention anxiety attacks... I did, because I believe fear is still a response to danger and anxiety is a response to the unknown and not knowing how a person will reply to a question can cause panic attacks

      Finally, I agree if you have a job were you put your life on the line on a daily basis it does seem silly to worry about situation like asking someone out or something

      A good examples of that would be Monty Pythons Life of Brian.

    • God bless Monty Python. How people get by without ever seeing it in one incarnation or another, I'll never know.

      Some of my clients are introverts. Others just shy extroverts who don't know how to overcome various obstacles.

      My fee what I charge clients is a pittance. A 20$ gift card to a grocer, or amazon, or I take barter. My only goal is for people to take the lesson, and apply it. It works for more than just dating.

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