Is it harder for pretty girls to keep a guy?

In my friend group, there’s one other cute girl and me, a cute girl (I’ve been told and honestly I am) but the other 2 girls are unattractive on the outside. However, most guys that approach me and ask for my number/Instagram never hit me up. But guys always hit up my unattractive friends, they seem to get farther with guys. And yes I’ve been told that I don’t look approachable, and I’ve been told I look mean, most guys just stare at me and don’t say anything. I’m super sweet and I have a nice personality. But it’s hard for me to find a boyfriend or get anywhere with a guy, and I’m so lonely here. What should I do?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Simple
    What can you offer?

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    • Thanks, this was helpful💛

    • Good then

    • A guy in the short terms want something pleasing for the eyes.
      In thr long terms want something comforting for the heart.
      It is two different things and you cannot be both.
      Either ur short or long.

  • You should try to be more like your unattractive friends. Obviously, they now more about what it takes to attract and keep the attention of a guy.

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    • Hahaha this had me laughing

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    • Wow @Jackieboi you’ve got quite a bit to say on the subject lol.

    • Well i can condense it for you if you want: Different leagues, different general interests. Just though id elaborate

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm going to have to say no, being pretty dosen't inherently make it harder to keep a guy. I'm approached a lot by people on the street or customers, but people I'm around and form relationships with really want something more. It happens more than I can deal with and its entirely because I have a soft, accepting, kind personality. I just come up and be nice and polite, have some good humor and try to make friends or help someone out, and they just get charmed right away. For me it's such a reverse that I almost can't make friends cause they want something more. It's all about your vibe and how approachable you feel. Looks can intimidate but if you act in a way that won't intimidate them, that stops mattering. I've honestly been thinking of being more cold and distant to people to stop this cause guys won't leave me alone. Being attractive is the first thing guys look at and certainly helps pique thier intrest. Getting them emotionally involved is a whole nother ball game and for a lot of guys comes after the fact they'd want to fuck you. It's also pretty hard for most guys to initiate, so just work on making a vibe that's easier for them to relax around you.

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  • Most guys think they don't have a shot with you because your so pretty. You will have to take control and start a conversation with a boy you are interested in, so he knows he's not wasting his time ☺

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    • Thanks💛

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    • One thing you could do is post sad/lonely stuff on any of your social media, and guys might be interested to message you. BUT, you might get a creepo or two by doing that 😂 best of luck tho :)

    • 😂😂thanks lol

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 50

  • Smile more and also approach guys yourself, displaying your nice personality.

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    • A really big smile and looking at him long enough that he knows it isn't just a chance glance should be enough to get a guy's Attention and encourage him to Approach you.

  • Maybe find a decent guy and approach him first? Many guys don't think they have a chance with attractive girls, so they don't try. Also, I know you think you are sweet but do you have any "brutally honest" type guy friends or family members you could ask for a 2nd opinion?

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  • You would need to post a picture in order for someone to answer the question.

    A lot of "very attractive" girls complain that guys don't ask them out much. Most of the time, it is very obvious why. They project themselves to be high maintenance, and therefore require too much effort and money.

    Does that describe you? I couldn't say without seeing a picture.

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  • You probably seem unnaproachable, hot girls often seem that way to guys, we think well have better luck with the less attractive. Also try to make yourself more approachable, smile, flirt - if you seem unnaprocahable a tiny percentage of guys will even try with you

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  • Guys get intimidated by beauty and could feel that you are out of their league. A lot of guys just find that its an easier option if they go for someone that they feel like they have a chance with.

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  • No offense but that's like when a guy says "I'm a nice guy why does no one want me", let me put it this way are you advertising that you are available and a nice person? I'm not saying smile more and force yourself to be more approachable but if it works it works, failing that just watch what they're doing and copy that, they must be doing something right right?

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  • Yes and no. It depends on the person. If the only defining feature of a pretty girl is her good looks then I see it pretty hard trying to keep a partner. But depending on what lies underneath the skin determines if someone will stick around. People will want to be around someone who is as attractive internally as she is externally.

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  • If you are "hot", guys can be scared to approach you. Guys are scared of rejections, so maybe they rather approach someone who they think have a better chance with.

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  • depends on whether your personality is one of self obsession/materialistic or one based on kindness and open minded to all around you

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  • shouldn't be the case if you have more to offer than just your cute looks.
    It could be the guys you choose to give a chance.
    Or you're picky and dont give much guys a chance.

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  • I've always said every supermodel has an ex for a reason you think and believe your high-and-mighty there's bound to be some kind of disturbance in your mind

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  • I understand you aren't trying to come off as full of yourself but this post negates that. You are basically saying "I have no idea why guys won't stay with me because I'm SOO attractive, and these DUFFs I have with me are out doing me. ("They're supposed to make me look pretty!") Lol

    So either you are, in fact, unattractive or your personality sucks or both. I'd say you need to really reflect on yourself objectively. Everyone has flaws and you need to find those. I'm not trying to be mean. You just need to figure things out. No one on here knows enough about you to give you a satisfactory answer. Ask for help from those closest to you who love you and tell them to be brutally honest; you need to seriously consider their advice.

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  • You sound far too stuck up in my personal opinion. Yes you should have a good opinion of yourself but your ego is through the roof.

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  • not really. it's more difficult for them to keep their "friends" and other girls from trying to poach them, tho.

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  • Pretty girls often attract assholes so it can be harder. On the other hand pretty girls find it incredibly easy to cheat so they lose the guy that way.

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  • Well I haven't seen the conversations, but I think you should go for a man you really like, I dont see the reaction of a man when you approach him on the description

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  • most guys won't even bother approaching top notch girls because you'll most likely do nothing with it or they'll be rejected.

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  • Well lot of guys may be intimidated by your good looks or simply think they're not good enough to approach you or, they associate you with the stereotypical mean, shallow, Leonidas seeking woman if you catch my drift. And the guys that do approach you usually respond to just your looks so finding a man who appreciates your personality as well as your looks will be a bit harder. But do not fret, you'll find a nice guy sometime. Try dressing modestly, put on more long dresses (that come up to the calves) wear some shirts that show no cleavage.

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  • Girls just don't get this (and there are plenty guys don't understand what girls find attractive too). Pretty girls make us stupid. Guys are primarily attracted by pretty and if you are really pretty it's like the difference between stargazing and staring at the sun. Sometimes you just can't do it.

    I've seen this happen first hand, even had it happen to me. A couple of my friends that are absolutely beautiful have had a tough time finding a guy, and the guys that they did date treated them poorly. Some of my less attractive female friends have had much better luck dating.

    And it's tough. I feel for you. It's one of those problems that nobody even thinks is real. How could you be "too pretty"?

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  • You should find yourself a boy, instead of waiting for one

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  • Maybe try and show guys that your interested in them. So they can make a move or you can always ask out a guy yourself.

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  • Either make a move or do nothing and keep getting approached by the guys confident enough to try and fuck you.

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  • Nope, it is actually easier. You just need to pick the right guy from the beginning rather than some guy that just wants you for sex.

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    • How does one differentiate "right guy" from "guy who wants you for sex"?

    • Well fits that are only interested in sex will rely on bullshit to get laid generally. In other words you have to be skeptical and test his words and actions. You might want to look for a trace, a lot of these people build up a history pretty quick. If the guy has had many girlfriends it is probably because he is a het in and get out type of guy.

    • *men* not *fits*

  • Don't depend on your appearance; work on your personality. You won't have your youthful looks forever.

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  • Half of what is considered attractive in our society is makeup, clothes and excessive confidence (I am assuming you are into at least 2 of those). Personally I find that all gross. My current girlfriend is average attractive but she is confident enough not to cake on makeup which certainly would make her look more "attractive" and she isn't into designer clothes, and she does not have that excessive confidence talking about how fierce she is and how she is going to take over the world like Beyonce. So the overall package of her is wayyyyyy more attractive than most other girls to me.

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  • In my personal experience most of the "pretty, fine, sexy" women I dated or ran through were boring. Once you get past the looks either they don't have nothing to talk about. Self centered, insecure (which is ok to a certain point), use their looks as a defense mechanism in an argument, etc. I think it would be harder for a pretty girl that actually have personality and a sense of humor to keep a guy for all the bad rep pretty girls can get sometimes. The hardest thing to figure out is if the guy is with you for you or if he's with you for lust.

    If he's with you for you then no it's not hard. If he's lusting over you then yes because the next prettier girl come alone and the smallest thing you do to make him mad he's jumping ship and going with her.

    Just my opinion/ personal experience

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  • I think you should go approach them. Normally a guy would be afraid of rejection by you because you're the prettiest of the group.

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  • You can try to approach yourself, do some activities get to know new people and you are bound to find someone

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  • Dont be full of yourself, be awkward and honest and not arrogant.

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  • I thought it was easier, didn't even consider that, him you learn something new everyday

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What Girls Said 16

  • Haha, that's true and funny as ridiculous it sounds. It took me years to realise it. My current partner told me he'd never approach me in real life (we met online). He said he wouldn't have the courage since he thought I was way out of his league and he's a very attractive man. That's one reason. From other hand, men like to feel powerful and a beautiful woman can be quite scary and even intimidating. Please don't expect from a man to admit that. A beautiful and intelligent woman has higher expectations and might be more difficult to be pleased in their eyes compared to a less attractive lady. Most men go for the easier option. Another reason is the man's insecurity. They believe that other men would flirt more with their beautiful lady and they might lose her.
    We cannot change men's psychology. Whatever you do, don't try to change yourself to fit someone's nature. Luckily there are men out there who are intelligent and brave enough to make beautiful women happy. Just broaden your circle of acquaintances. The right guy is somewhere there.

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  • Your friends are probably hoe’s so dont be like them be like you but you may need to start Aproching guys or shoot your shot as they call it but that’s if your picky and have a type , or you can go out by your solo guys may be scared to get rejected in front of your friends or maybe shy that’s also another factor.

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  • Not at all. Your appearance attracts a guy, your personality makes him either stay or leave.

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  • Well sister join the club. Guys think attractive girls won't like them or that well cheat. My ex left me just for my sexual past.
    Average girls with decent bodies seem to do better in love

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    • It's because average girls are sweet and true to them so that's why boys go for them instead of beautiful girls and most beautiful girls are mean and try to show themselves Superior and boys always want someone of there match neither low nor Superior because they are already being tired of holding the weight of being Superior so they just want someone to understand so they don't want to handle the drama of beautiful girls they just want someone simple someone with kind heart and clean thoughts and if just someone left you just due to your sexual past then he was just looking for hookup not relationship so don't be sad for him

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    • @sunsweet yeah I mean I've even give shots to guys I wouldn't normally like. I get it they get anxious cause they think that just because men hit on me I'll cheat. But at this point in life I've been with hot men who are very shitty all a girl needs is a man that makes her feel special defects and all.

      I wish some guy would just take me to dinner tell me that I'm beautiful and that I'm social to him but it's never happened. Trust me boys is you ever see a hot girl just be bold and tell her something romantic there's a big chance she's never heard it before

  • How do you look mean? Did you have a RBF? Or do you just sit there and stare, not laughing and having fun with your friends? Smile, look friendly and try to approach guys. Don't just whine and do nothing

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  • The look on the outside doesn’t matter. A person can be not really pretty or sexy, but if has a charm somehow, thats the thing that opposite sex is attracted to.

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  • That litterly sounds like me, I have a resting b*tch face so I don't look too approachable

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  • I'm rarely ever approached and my longest and only real relationship lasted 4 months so I don't think it has anything to do with looks hahaha

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  • Sometimes it is because even if they have the looks they might not have the brains or the wonderful personality.

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  • Are you sure you have a nice personality? Maybe you need to ask others.

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  • Story of my life.

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  • It depends on how the girl behave

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  • Its not your face but the way you act and dress. I'm gorgeous , I get tons of DM from guys , I get approached everytime I go shopping or buying groceries. Most of the times I say "Sorry. my husband and my chidren waits me. See you again". I have a boyfriend for 2 years.

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  • I'm reading comments and I totally not agree 🤣 firstly human (especially man) nature is that they search best (looking) material for future children, from this comes love to hour glass body and youthful look, because so they unconsciously see its right mother for their children. And who doesn't want beautiful children? They have surely less problems in life because many love them because of appearance.
    Secondly: being nicer / kind is not always good solution, because then people may think you are holy fool and manipulate you.
    Thirdly: from my own experience and my sister experience: yes there are less brave men who can speak with beautiful girl, but this "filter" is even good, because so you get at least someone confident. So don't worry and be nice / polite but not foolish with people who deserve it. And yeah avoid womaniser with fake confidence

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  • Since I don't know you personally I'll just go by what you gave me. Being pretty will help you find someone fast but won't keep them in the long run if that's all you have to offer. Maybe take notes from your unattractive friends and apply them to the future. Good luck

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  • As a pretty woman myself, I think its hard to date if all you have to offer is being pretty. Its also not a accomplishment to be nice and pretty at the same time. If you see it as an expectation of yourself instead, you would realize that you and your unnatttactive friends are no different. You're nice, and being pretty might seem like an advantage but it won't cover for rest of the expectations a quality man has regarding a quality woman. In essence, it means nothing when you dont give more of yourself. I completely understand that feeling of being pretty and not wanting to open up to just anybody because you know half the men you encounter just want to take advantage of you. I know how it feels to be pretty and not want to mess up your image and to try to be perfect, rather than to be yourself. Trust me, being yourself and not holding back is what will get you a man fit for you.

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