My boyfriend is insecure that I’m in college?

He graduated last year. This year I am a senior. I came in as a transfer last year, and unfortunately did not end up making that many friends. This year I want to stay on campus more and get more involved and make friends! But, my boyfriend gets insecure about it sometimes. I told him I wanted to join a sorority to meet a group of girls. These girls are really kind and sweet, and have never pressured me to do anything. My boyfriend got insecure i was joining one (although months ago he thought it was a great idea for me!) also, he mentioned to me that he gets insecure because sometimes he feels that he doesn’t fit into my life (because I’m in college, and he has a full time job). But, I always try to make time for him. Also, he was interested in a club at my college (he used to go here), and I told him I wouldn’t be able to go (my sorority had a meeting). He didn’t want to go anymore, and I told him he should because he wanted to, and maybe he will have fun! Then he said “oh i feel you just want me to go. Because you think of i have nothing to do, I’ll bother you all the time” which isn’t true at all!

He just has become so insecure about me being here. When, I was able to stay with my ex for 8 months (1.5 years in total), while at college. But we ended because he cheated.

Regardless. I told my boyfriend it hurts me, I feel he doesn’t trust me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It is great that you give a load of details but I honestly find it a bit confusing.

    So I will not go so much in details, but I will hice you a better understanding so perhàbs you will know what to do instead of me telling you.

    Jealousy in a relationship will happen. No matter how much people say it should be avoided, we can't truly do so. It is in our nature to protect what we feel belong to us and care deeply about. But as anything, there should be a limit and a balance. I think he has been going over that limit and is not causing some issues. If you really truly want to make it work you will have to make some sacrifices and comply to some of his demands in return he will have to do twice as you because he is the one turning the issue into a problem.

    You have to live your life and enjoy it, we are in a different time. Man don't dominate, as they did. Therefore you have the liberty of doing what is best for you no matter if the male is against it. If joining a college group will make you happier and grow as an individual he doesn't have no right in saying you can't. He will say you shouldn't but that is his opinion, you could decide if you take it or not.
    Make friends & enjoy college life vs. Jealous boyfriend that wants to tell me what is best for me.

    Now, is important to get to an agreement you both can agree in therefore you still have to consider to what he has to say and agree to some of his terms of you are gonna make this work. Besides relationship is all about making sacrifices so that the relationship can last.

    You will have to sit down with him, and have a long discussion. Tell him how much you like him and want this relationship to last, but you really want to do this and that and you are willing to work on any solution to make it possible. He will say he doesn't want to. Because of this and that. So you tell him that you will do it anyways because...(how it will help you emotionally & mentally aka tell him facts). Because his argument are based on feelings he will look like a real jerk if he tries to go against your self improvement as a person and if he does so, then you can turn it on him and place your own terms. There he will either agree or the relationship is over. Which at that point you will see if he really liked you or his jealousy is bigger thant the love for you.

    I hope things can work out with you too, good luck ✌️


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