How do you tell someone who is delusional that you want him to stop pursuing you?

The guy is a coworker and knows I have a boyfriend. It's deluded behavior because he knows next to nothing about me, always talks about himself, is territorial around other guys and really jealous, tries to low key manipulate and control me, and is just hugely obbssessed. I felt uncomfortable and involved a manager. He avoided me and a month later when I started being nicer to him he started it all back up. He constantly misreads my willingness level, and due to many other experiences I just think the guy ain't normal and needs mental help. How do I go about doing that?
Updates:
So update since it was requested, dude has been delt with. I was talking to a coworker and the coworker ended up going and talking to him. He no longer even looks in my direction. When I asked the coworker what he said, he said if he does anything else HR is getting involved and he isn't allowed to talk to me unless other people are present. I was a bit shocked it was quite harsh but honestly I'm too soft and I have been way more comfortable at work now. Thank you everyone for your replies

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think in this situation you've done as much as you can besides reporting the issue to HR as they may have a company policy to support staff with suspected health issues and might be able to address in a way that would keep you from being harassed as well. I think it's lovely that you have so much empathy for him but also think that if you don't know exactly what mental health issue you're dealing with then things could escalate and become more dangerous for yourself if the behaviour continues. It must be hard to be ascertive in this situation having parents who you care for too. Overall I think it's a job and you should be able to work without harassment from any colleague and if the boy needs help then he might need a push from the powers above in order to get one 😊 just remember to look after yourself because it's you who's being targeted and be safe outside of work too just in case. Hope things go alright, keep us all updated 😊

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    • Thanks, if the site would let me I'd upvote this as most helpful answer right now. I agree, it's just now he's avoiding me and being passive aggressive again and while it is uncomfortable still and might try to overstep his bounds again, I just dont know. I think I should talk to him about it, but I wonder still if he's capable of that, if I should even try. He dosen't let his weirdest behavior be seen by other employees and they kinda think I'm overreacting a little, especially because it's hard to explain. I'm hoping he's learned his lesson but he seems to still be playing a game or just can't deal with rejection and get over it at all. Talking to HR and managment does seem like the solution. I just hoped I could do it another way. I had hoped he could understand.

    • I updated the question. Not sure if if gag notifies but its there:)

    • That's great news I'm glad he knows to leave you in peace now 😊✌️

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're worried too much about him. Just involve HR or tell him you'll get HR involved if he doesn't stop.

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What Guys Said 15

  • It would be not to be nice to him, put contact with him to a minimum. No eye contact and be just matter of fact with him , possibly if he see you are not liking him he may go on to someone else. NO SMILING AT HIM..

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  • Do you work at like a Starbucks or something?

    If so I think the only real way to get out if it is to work somewhere else. Cause those kinds of places would hire anybody. How some people manage to work at those places for so long kind of boggles my mind.

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  • speak to HR and have him warned if he persists then they can fire him...
    especially if you've already told him you are not interested

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  • I've never had any luck getting my creepy stalker guy to back off

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  • I will suggest you to avoid him but if he still tries to intrude then avoid him bluntly (dont be nice to him for his welfare)

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    • I have. He still persists which is why he's delusional and I'm concerned. I've already involved management. I think he has a mental problem and needs help at this point, I'm not trying to destroy his reputation and job, he needs therapy

  • Tell him to leave you alone. You never would be interested in him

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  • Contact HR if he continue
    No means no. This is sexual harassment

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  • I did that to a girl in my college and feeling guilty now

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    • As long as you learn the boundaries and avoid having someone feel like they are harassed in the future, it's okay. Everyone fucks up at something.

    • Yes absolutely true ! As you said he is heavily obsessed person, I can understand them to a certain level they are just deeply impressed on you some how they believe you can help them out in their life, then what motivates him to do like that?
      The problem is they don't love themselves in the first place,..
      Don't go to HR again anyhow make him realize that he will get a good girl to accompany him in his life, I don't think so he is a bad person... He is just not able to love himself because of some unknown valid reason. Don't worry time teaches him better than anybody else. @sunsweet

  • I wıll askyou queastıon? please send me message thank you

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  • File a complaint with your HR department.

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    • I've done the managers so far. I think the problem is he's emotionally unstable and needs help. I have two schizophrenic parents so I have some compassion for people who need help. I 5hink ge needs to be looked at more than he needs to be fired

    • It's not your place to diagnose or fix him. Period. You have a job to do, just do that. Tell him to leave you alone or you're reporting him. Keep it professional. Or find a new job.

  • just say get lost

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  • Stop talking to him.

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  • Tell him to fuck off.

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  • Ask him if you need to call a cop to wake him up

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  • He is dumb. Follow me back? I'm RomanEmperor

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