Why did it feel like it did before?

I dated a girl over the course of nearly 5 years, and when we first dated, we broke up because of a religious difference, and over the year and a half apart, I tried to date others and I couldn't find anyone good enough, and I kept feeling like I shouldn't give up on her, and I kept having dreams and feelings to do things.
I reached out to her eventually following those feelings, and she said she was hurt by me when we broke up and she didn't want me in her life anymore.
Six months later, we were together again and we were incredibly happy. She went on a mission, and we broke up because of her again.
I tried to fix things, but because of her being ever conflicted, and my frustrations, I decided to let her finish her mission. I tried dating others again, and I asked out more that 30 girls and still couldn't find someone.
I reached out to her a few months ago, by sending a letter, and nothing happened. I kept feeling like things weren't over and the dreams started coming again, and I felt like I was getting signs to reach out. So I did and she ignored my request to talk to her, and she's never just ignored me.
I'm so confused, this felt just like the first time, but I'm scared. In the six months it took her before, she could meet someone and get married and it breaks my heart that we aren't together again.
I just don't understand, I thought we were destined to be together after everything we've been through, but I'm so confused. She said she'd always be there for me and she's ignoring me. She said our love could last forever, and she felt the holy Spirit had her reconnect with me because we were meant to be.
Help me understand

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What Girls Said 1

  • well whatever brought y'all together its over now cause she said it is by not responding to that letter. Maybe its time to move on because the amount of times you have broken up shows that someone doesn't know what they want or doesn't compromise.

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