Why did he do it? Will he do it again?

My other half had an awful childhood. Very abusive. It's no excuse I'm just giving background info here! Due to that he has no confidence, self esteem and he's quite angry all the time (internally it's never aimed at me)

We are engaged, have a 6 month old baby, have been together over 5 years. I've just discovered that he's been texting a girl he works with. He sent her a photo of his area. He said he wanted her.

I asked him he's been absolutely devastated. Said it was only harmless flirting and was just a bit of an ego boost. Said he'll never do it again. Deleted her off his phone and Facebook. He said he never intended to actually do anything with her. I don't understand why you'd say that though if you weren't contemplating it.

She says he went to her house, which he admits to doing, and tried to fuck her, which he absolutely says isn't true and he seemed quite confused and angry as to why she would tell me that.

She's not right I can tell that, she messaged me and I didn't get angry with her and it seems because I didn't she went after me - really attacked how I am as a fiance and told me I'm no oil painting! I feel like she wants drama and for him to get in a lot of trouble so she's half telling me the truth and popping lies in there to make it seem like he's lying.
But maybe I'm just trying to justify his actions.

I dont know what to do. I have a house, baby and have paid for my wedding next April. Will he do this again? He said we can go to counseling. That he will do anything to fix it. That he's so sorry.


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  • Sorry he got caught?

    I dont even know who to believe here but if the girl is coming at you with this then she wants trouble. Maybe she wanted to be with him and you are the obstacle in the way. I do think you both should seek counselling and you would need to forgive him whether or not this happened.

    • That's what I wondered but he seems sorry he has actually gone to get attention elsewhere.
      Said it was stupid to go looking for something when he already has everything and now he might lose it all just for an ego boost. He was focusing on one thing that he thought was wrong (that the sex wasn't as often but I did nearly die in childbirth and it's still once a week) and that he wasn't looking at all the good stuff.
      He said he's ashamed and embarrassed. That he will never take me for granted ever again.

      I have to wonder if I didn't find out would it have carried on and gone further?

      She doesn't seem stable. She said he was a gentlemen and it was all innocent and they are just friends and then when I didn't have a go at her she told me he was a dog, wanted to fuck her and was only interested in sex and that he'd do it again. But she "doesn't want him" 🙄

    • @Asker all we can do is hope and pray in this life. Get that counselling, forgive and move forward fresh. All the best with everything; the wedding, marriage etc.

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