Most Helpful Girls
i disagree. but my age explains why. its the exact opposite. i will say everyone my age knows all the guys look great and the girls gain weight at the 10 year class reunion. but then 90% of the guys get fat and lose their hair afterwards, where as women, sometimes with the help of botox, start getting better looking! plus a lot of women stop drinking as much as they start worrying about age, opposed to their counter parts. so by the 20th reunion very few guys look decent, many of the women look great and most of the single women date either younger men or men who are way below their pay grade.
this theory holds water as an older woman is at her prime sexually decades after a male. so it suits to figure a male peaks physically much earlier too.
i will also mention my theory is that of a upper middle class u. s. world. i am sure sociodemographics and location would change the dynamics.
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in what ways? Given that most women aren't and dont have access to people outside of their class groups and generally end up dating men within the same class groups, I'd say there's no strong evidence to support the idea that women with economic opportunities in the western world date up economically. Usually women look for people in the same group as them and would accept more but prefer not to go "down."
Physically, I completely disagree. In fact, most average joes I see have gfs that are better looking than they are or far more attractive. Someone even told me this - that guys look for girls who are more attractive than they are because they place a high value on beauty/looks/sex. So whereas a woman is looking for a full picture and often dates a guy who is less attractive than she is, you rarely see that with men. So I'd actually say across the board, men date up because they usually dont date women who are less attractive than they are and most women end up with men who are in the same class groups.
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Most Helpful Guys
The first chart explains male and female dating options. 80% of men compete for the bottom 25% of women. 80% of women compete for the top 20% of men.
So, to a woman, she is looking at these top 20% guys and going, "Well this shit ain't fair. The average guy has plenty of options, and they are picky. They only want the hottest bitches"
Women are looking at their dating pool, but they're ignoring 80% of guys as even potentially existing in that dating pool. Women see above average men as average, and average men as below average.
Ask women how many men they find attractive, by default. It's not many. Proved by OkCupid and other dating app statistics, where women rated 80% of men as below average attractiveness. This ties in with 80% of women competing for the top 20% of men. Women see *most* guys as undesirable, by default. Which can change, if he proves himself. But by default, most guys suck, to women.
What does a woman have to have to be considered desirable? A base level of attractiveness. 80% of women qualify for that.
What does a man have to have? A hell of a lot more than just decent looks.
Clarifying: a man does not *need* these things to be successful with women. If he can form a connection, then he can still win. But, that is a specific skill: social skill. Good news is this is learnable.
But 80% of men end up dating down, because they do not have options. And 80% of women *FEEL* like they're dating down, because they completely ignore 80% of men. They're looking at the top 20% and going, "Shit, I have no chance to get a decent guy." But, in reality, they have tremendously more options than men. They just don't consider them options. And, women consider 80% of men as below average. So they don't look at themselves as dating up, even when they are.
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I believe that what we are all really discussion is a very basic and fundamental concept expressed across all species on earth - natural selection. Humanity tend to forget about this because we have a brain and believe somehow laws of nature do not apply. In the human heterosexual construct men compete for the best mates and women hold the more powerful role of selection. Humanity are a little different than the rest of the species on earth because competition is multilayered. By that I mean that men can be physically attractive, have access to more resources, or demonstrate higher intellectual capacity / capability. These three areas are where men compete and they can possess varying amounts across all three areas.
Women on the other hand select what is to them the best. What is appealing to one woman is not necessarily so to another. Although women select they also need characteristics to be approached by men. These characteristics are beauty, intelligence, and personality. Now women can and do have their own resources but typically a man is not interested in how much a woman possesses. There are exceptions but the overwhelming cases is this is not important and certainly not as much as the other three.
When a man approaches he will be drawn almost always by the woman's beauty. Afterward he will assess intelligence and personality to determine whether he should pursue further. When the man approaches the woman she also will be looking for attractiveness but there are outward signals of wealth (Rolex, clothes, shoes, etc.) the man may have that enhance his opportunity. Women, unlike men, will not always reject the advance of a partner on the basis of attractiveness. She may wait for a demonstration of mental ability (personality or charm I would also place here) or resources depending on what she deems to be more important.
The result here is that men will typically compete for more attractive women (also younger for purposes of children) and women will generally select on the basis of some level of attractiveness but mental ability and resources will most likely be more important so she and her children can live well and be more intelligent.
This is the reason you see men with younger and prettier women than they are and you see women with less attractive and possibly older men. What I laid out here is a generalisation and there are certainly statistical outliers, but this is a good rule and holds up for the greater majority of human relationships.