My ex is recycling all of our things with new girlfriend, just as if she was an impostor... I find it very disturbing and don’t understand why?

I had to move. We broke up because he didn’t want to do long distance but it was an hard and long break up as he didn’t want to do that and was very indecisive. In the end I was too hurt that he was having so many doubts and I did the final step and closed things. We were deeply in love with each other.

A week later he started going out with a friend of his, who is a bad copy of me: same interests, same type of personality, same job, same insane love for cats, same taste in music and food. It was quite a blow for me to see he had replaced me for her, the only consolation being that she is extremely bad looking. But for the rest she is scaringly similar to me.

Not only, but I saw on Facebook posts etc that he uses he same jokes we created, our nicknames etc with her. They have been on holiday in the same place we used to, and it’s not a touristic one or a popular destination, it’s a place we used to go because we had wonderful memories linked to our relationship there... they have been to the house next to the one we used to rent...

It was a hard break up for me, I still deeply love him. But looking at this, I feel like an impostor stole my life, it’s excruciating... why is he doing this?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • harsh reality... he lost interest in you but it does not mean he lost interst in your type and why would he suddenly not like all the things he liked to do before but with a different person. its sad you feel the way you do and i do understand it must be hard but you need to just move on and forget about it.

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    • Yeah but going to our place on holiday with someone else is a bit too much isn’t it? There’s nothing there but our memories

    • well he must see it as a place he liked with or without you

  • Sounds kind of like she was a sidechick elevated to girlfriend; I mean to have all of that relationship banter and the like setup and established so quickly does seem a bit suspicious. Think about it; he clearly wasn't as "deeply in love" with you as you were with him as a long distance relationship wouldn't have been a breakup worthy scenario for him, she was a friend of his that obviously would have known about you and if she was the sidechick she would have tried to emulate you as best as she could to help in keeping him interested in her and she stepped in almost immediately to fill the void as if it was planned out. Seems a bit weird right?

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    • Yeah I think your analysis is close to what I think of it. But what I don’t understand is his behavior: how can he think it’s ok to reuse our things? Isn’t he coscient when he does that? Because if he is that’s completely psycho

    • Show All
    • It is possible that he simply just remembered that it was a nice place, from you guys spending good times there, and he knew his new girlfriend would like it there.
      Don't get me wrong, I don't know the guy but as a guy I can pretty much guarantee that he was thinking purely with his dick not trying to piss you off by emulating your time together.

    • Well if that’s so, I’m gonna each out to the girl and let her know it’s all recycled. I care about nothing anymore anyways

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What Guys Said 8

  • So this guy was "deeply in love" with you and starts dating again after only a week? That's a dick move on his part.
    The other girl probably doesn't realize everything is being repeated, the guy is just too lazy to make the new relationship mean anything with new experiences and is possibly trying to make you jealous

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    • He’s not trying to make me jealous, he blocked me from social media. I was told by a friend

    • Maybe he's just crazy and every girlfriend from now on has to remind him of you

  • Well, you're lucky you're not the replacement. She didn't do that to you, the girl is probably oblivious to it. Stop idealizing him and you'll be fine, stop stalking them on social media too, it will hurt you and social media is fake af too. Their relationship won't last and you won't want to be with him later on cuz he is a scumbag for replacing you

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  • Maybe he hasn't gotten over you, yet, and his going out with a bad copy of you is just his way of being on the rebound (or his "being with you" while not "being with you"). A lot of guys want everything without giving up anything - and that usually just doesn't work. It seems like he didn't want to give you up but didn't want to make the choices necessary in order to stay with you (he didn't want to move when you had to).
    Even if you still having feelings for him, maybe don't visit his FB page anymore - who needs that pain or drama. 😢

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  • It's probably time you blocked his Facebook, your just going to get constant reminders of a guy that has moved on. Try not to think about him or his new girlfriend and focus on you and what you want.

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  • Sounds to me that he is trying to hold on to every possible thing that makes him feel as if you were still there... he doesn't love her he isn't over you !!!

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    • I believe he is over me. He blocked me everywhere. He was probably fucking her before we broke up. He still has a picture I took of him while on holiday as a fb prophile picfure, which bothers me a lot. I’d ask him to change it if I could communicate to him. It’s a good picture I’m pissed he’s still using it. But for the rest he cut me out in every way except for transferring our relationship copied straight on a new person

    • I believe he’s a psycho

    • Well then he is just a asshole and you deserve better

  • He either does not associate you with those things, or he sees the new girl as close enough to you that he doesn’t need different. I am that way. Not sentimental at all. I gave my wife a bunch of figurines when we were dating and first married. They are on the top shelf of a cabinet. I would sell or throw them away if it was my decision, but they are “special to her” so we keep them. I value life in “experiences” what I’ve done and where I’ve been. And what my children are able to accomplish after me. I love my wife and want to have experiences with her. But we just take care old people with dementia and alzheimers and work our jobs.

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  • Dont you bother with that do your own thing and move on

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  • Leave it alone! Move on, or it will just drive you crazy...

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    • But it is already driving me crazy! How can you replace one person with another as if they were the same person? For me it’s painful but it’s also not respectful
      Towards that girl! Why?

    • Obviously, you are still emotionally connected here. Your ex is clearly a freak and a nut job. You are ruminating over a crazy person. The answer is that he is MESSED UP IN THE HEAD!!! You will lose your mind chasing this down... Create a new life for yourself! Go date other people... just like he did!!!

    • Yes I am still in love. I don’t know how to explain that, or how other people can understand, but we were extremely close. We lasted 1.5 years in a ldr as we weren’t able to break up from each other, our connection being so strong. I am dating other people, I just don’t understand how he can be so cruel as to sell out our story and use it with someone else

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