Why did she unblock me and give my money back when I didn’t want it?

So back story I was suppose to go visit her as we were doing long distance. Things got heated in the moment two weeks ago and she lashed out and said she never wanted to talk to me again and she’ll pay me back the money I spent on the plane ticket to see her prior to breaking up. (Never lashed out at her btw). Basically today I was scrolling through the contacts section of ig to add someone and I saw her profile. Along with that was the money in my mailbox.

So I was just curious as to why even unblock me and give me the money back when I didn’t even ask for it in the first place? Why even say out of pocket things to me? Was it in the heat of the moment her actions?

I don’t wanna add her back or anything cause I feel like if she wanted to she could have easily added me back. Plus its too soon I feel like to do anything. Her ig is on private still by the way.
Updates:
Ladies any advice would help
Her profile is on private, I cannot see what she’s doing?

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I’d say she had a bit of a wake up call and realized she was being immature. I know if I unblocked someone and things were still heated, it’d be because there’s still some sort of feeling there. Ages ago when my boyfriend and I broke up, he kept blocking and unblocking me online and when we got back together, I asked him why he did that, and he said there was an element of confusion. He’d be bothered if he saw my stuff online but he also was curious because there was still lingering feelings. She probably needs to calm down a lot. I’m gathering that ye went long distance and it got rocky. It sounds to me that she is very scared of long distance. It’s a scary thing and there’s a lot of fear there. She seems to have pushed you away out of fear. If she’s unblocked you I’m guessing that she wants you to notice. Yes you could write to her now and show her you can see she unblocked you and try a fresh start, or you could take the other route and leave it alone. Personally if it was me, I’d want the guy to show one last time that he sees I’m there and has respect to thank me for the money. Then leave it as that. Let her make the next move and if she is ignorant enough to disrespect you, move forward!

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    • I appreciate your response a bunch and I sent a short note with the money saying I appreciated the money but there’s no need to pay. And that I still care and appreciate her much. I’m waiting till she gets the letter with the money to do anything or her to react to it. Again thanks :)

  • She is angry and it is a way of showing she doesn’t care anymore I think.
    Blocking you means she wants to cut you off of her life and if the two of you remained friends on Instagram/Facebook it would hurt her because she would see your photos or stories.

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    • Yeah but she unblocked me on everything now, why? 😕

      And I’m gonna answer your question now sorry I’m lagging

    • Then probably she is sorry for what she did and would like you to text her.
      If you still love her you can try to text her something like “hey, I’m sorry for what happened, can we speak about it again and decide what to do? Because I think even if we argue sometimes, we love each other and it isn’t worth loosing each other” (I’m Italian so I can’t speak English very good, but I hope you understand what I wanted to say)

Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. She may have volunteered to pay the money because she doesn't want you contacting her later to inquire about it.

    2. She blew up at you unexpectedly shortly before you were scheduled to visit. There is a good possibility that she has someone new in her life, someone who is local to her. She fabricated an excuse to blow up and tell you to not bother with visiting her, but she felt guilty enough about that to pay back the money. She may simply be trying to salve her own conscience.

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    • But why unblock me on everything though?

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    • We live in the same area hometown wise. As far as school it’s her last year where she goes so anything could happen.

    • Probably has somebody new in her life.

  • Probably wanted to make sure you couldn't say she owed you... I've heard of guys taking women on dates and expecting them to put out after having spent money. There's that song... "I ain't spendin cash for nothin I wanna see you take it off".
    If she unblocked you she may want to see how you will react to the fight... How persistent you are... How much BS you can handle. Probably has too much pride to apologize without some provocation.

    Two questions for you to consider: is her BS the kind you are comfortable dealing with? What kind of experience do you want to have? (let the possibilities play out in your mind before answering)

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    • Oh I didn’t want the money Foresure, I actually mailed it back so that’s why I’m hesitant to add her so soon. Cause I left a little note nothing too crazy. Honestly I’d consider talking to her and work things out. But I’m honestly worried cause I don’t wanna step any boundaries with her not knowing the cause of her actions.

    • First thing , worry less... Or at least more effectively. In my inexperienced opinion, women don't like to be worried and seeing the man worried only worries them more.
      Second, if you extended an olive branch the best thing to do is nothing. The ball is in her court now... If she replies, great (cuz now you know), if not that's great too (cuz now you know).
      Third, be yourself always even if it means stepping over boundaries, better to do the thing and offend someone than to try to avoid doing something that comes naturally to you (you'll end up doing it eventually anyway).
      Lastly, I haven't had a girlfriend for more than six months so you should take my advice with two grains of salt.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 60

  • She probably gave back to money so as to owe you nothing because she was the reason you spent money in the first place. Two possible reasons for her actions, either she wants a clean break off from you or she's regretting her choice and wants to get back together.
    She most likely wants to get back together and realized she was being immature earlier so she unblocked you

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    • So should I add her soon then? Or let her add me cause she is stubborn

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    • Hmm I don't know really depends on you, do you want to get back together?
      I have two choices for you, one add her and talk to her apologizing, trying to make up with her.
      Or
      Two, wait and see if she does anything more and if she tries to contact you.
      My own opinion is that I really recommend you don't message her apologizing and stuff. Let her do it because from what you said, it sounds like she was the cause of the break up and she's the one who was immature. It should be her who apologizes, if she don't want to then she's not worth your time. If you give in to her too much then it's not a good thing. It may seem like you're desperate which then will only make her feel more superior.

      Though ultimately it's your choice. What do you feel like you should do? Don't let my opinion effect you too much, cause you may regret not doing what you want.

    • I guess add her on ig first and see what happens I guess she unblocked me from everything actually. So it’s not just one thing so now I’m more than weirded out by all this

  • When I was young and immature I’d do that out of being very upset. She probably blocked you in the heat of the moment and has too much pride to add you back again.

    Or

    She really is done and that’s the easiest way for her to move on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    (That’s for answering my question about the song)

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  • She felt guilty about the money you lost, that's why she compensated you.

    If you don't want to add her back, then I would delete her chat and forget about her.
    If you do want to talk to her again though, then send her a message. Ask her what's wrong or maybe try to figure out what went on with her, and what you both want to do from here on out.

    You just need to go with your gut on this and figure out whether you want to give up on her or attempt to try again.

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  • Likely blocked you when she was pissed buy still cares about you and felt bad that she did that. So she unblocked you and gave you your money back. I doubt she means to hurt you, seems like she has a conscience somewhat

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    • Do you think if I add her it be okay and would she want to talk to me again? Cause those were some harsh words you know?

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    • @CherryRoseChampange Thanks. 😅
      But hey. Ex's or friends whatever it may be may get back together. So I do like that you sent that kinda text. Also sending the money bad is honestly gentlemen like. Yes the ticket wasn't used but a friendship is better to have than some money. Which can be earned.

    • So basically we got into an argument just still having feelings for her and she didn’t reciprocate them well. (Just being dumb and clingy) lashed out and said she will never talk to me again, blocked me on literally everything, and said I’m unbelievable. I didn’t say one word and just let her do this cause I didn’t want to regret something later.

      Moving on to now... she unblocked me literally on everything to Snapchat, phone I think, and Instagram. So it throws me completely off cause why even do that and you say what you said? Wouldn’t you just keep me blocked?

      And I never said anything about the money in the first place, I wasn’t expecting her to pay me at all😓

      Nothing has happened in her life nor she cheated on me. It was just literally me being typical at the end of the relationship clinging on smh. I regret doing that but I’d take her back if I have the chance to but I’m very cautious cause I don’t know what she’s thinking right now

  • I feel like she cares about you. That's how girls are. I think she might want you to think she doesn't care but she does. It seems to me like she still has you on her mind. If you think unblocking her would be the right decision, go for it.

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    • No I got blocked but idek if I should re add her

    • If I were you, I'd probably re-add her just out of curiosity. After that I would un-add her if I don't care anymore. But if you're not comfortable with that, you don't have to. It depends (if she's a genually nice person). You know her personality better. Not all girls are the same.

  • She's probably paying back because she said she would and probably unblocked you because she felt bad after all the things she said and maybe wants to leave an open door so that you might try and come back. But I wouldn't advice contacting her.

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    • Well what do I do? Do I at least add her back? If so when?

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    • Well I sent her the money back with a little note so I’ll wait till she gets it first then add her

    • Ok. Hope it goes well for you.😊

  • Well maybe she felt bad after lashing out on you and now she is trying to satisfy herself as well by returning money as compensation but i won't suggest to contact her yet, you should give it some time and see her response i think she will get back in touch

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  • Your details were very scattered and difficult to follow, but I'm going to guess that she really doesn't want to see you or talk to you and paid you back so that you won't bother her

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  • She was probably pissed off when she blocked you and undid it when she calmed down. I think she gave you the money back because she felt bad you spent it on something that ended badly and didn't want to seem like a bitch. I wouldn't trust me though, I have no experience.

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  • She probably just wants to move on without feeling guilty about anything. Giving you the money back means she doesn't owe anything to you and she doesn't have to feel guilty about moving on and walking away.
    Tough situation, but to be honest, I reckon her giving you the money is an indication that she doesn't want to have anything to do with you any more and there's no reason for you to contact her.
    I would move on
    All the best xx

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  • She wants to move on and to do that she doesn't want to live with the guilt of leading you on for so long and getting you to spend money to see her.

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    • She didn’t though we were together for 7 moths and go tinto a fight as I said now unblocked me so that’s why I’m wondering if by the unblocking wouldn’t you just keep me blocked

      Can you answer mine please, it’s on my page it’s the most recent.

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    • So add her maybe tomorrow or something? Like I said I left her a note with the money back

    • Yeah, do anything you can. The sooner the better with these things. Add her! Show her you care and you feel like you need her. Don't be afraid of being desperate, just don't do anything too embaressing. The less you do, the more you will regret it later.

  • Its probably a way of her saying " I don't care anymore ". Being blocked shows that the breakup affected her a lot even if she was mad. It might be that she realized this and doesn't want to come off as not forgetting about you yet. I suggest not worrying about it, and don't add her back either unless you want to go back being friends after that.

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    • Well I’d be down to be but I just don’t want it to seem like I want her back cause tbh her actions confuse the hell out of me. Like what’s the purpose of unlboovking me yet your profile is on private. It’s been almost a week since I’ve noticed now and im hesitant cause I’m thinking it will alarm her.

    • Well it also depends on what the argument was about. If she realized that you do something that upsets her and she can't see herself being with you in the long run, then there's probably a chance that being friends won't be a good idea either.. but if it was something minor then I say you should try texting her. Let her know you enjoyed her company a lot and still want to be friends (along with adding her back on ig).

    • Overall, i just feel like randomly adding her back will cause some trouble. She might be as confused as you are

  • I'd say that she isn't worth you time, and that you should just try and forgot about it. Especially if it was random. She seems to be a bit immature if so.

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  • Usually I will do that for guys I have no feelings or wants to draw a clean line with. Similar to what most people have been saying, to rid that sense of indebtedness to you, even if you don't need it, it's what she perceives.

    Seriously think that you should just move on, instead of suffering this; no point dragging it out. Based on your pov, she "lashed out" at you... No one should be verbally abused, be it male or female.

    Good luck! (:

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  • She cares about you but not sure how much. She does not want to feel guilty on you spending money on her. You deserve someone who cares and loves you and treats you right.

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    • I understand but why unblock me though? And I sent it back to her cause I don’t want her money. I left a not me saying I appreciate it and still care about her but yeah... wasn’t necessary

    • To not have any forgiveness maybe? That was very nice and gentlemanly of you. I hope it all works out for you though, keep on :)

  • She felt bad.. wanted a clean break. I politely did the same to my ex. Almost exactly. I have a conscious so does this lady. Unless she apologizes don’t engage.

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  • She was probably mad at you but still felt bad that you spent money just to go see her so she probably felt the need to pay it back

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  • She probably wasn't thinking when she lashed out at you. The blocking seems like a heat of the moment thing.

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  • She probably had to unblock you so she could send the money back, and figures she doesn't need to block you again.

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    • No she mailed me the money the unblocking was superset whivh is why I was confused

      Can you answer mine please? It’s on my page

    • This is literally an answer to yours...

  • Maybe she still likes you that’s why she unblocked you. also with giving you back your money, I think she doesn’t want it to be like she owes you or something.

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    • Should I add her back soon, I sent the money back to her telling her that I apprwas Coates it but there’s no need. And that I still care about her.

    • Good you sent the money back and you just add her back okay.

  • She unblocked you because she probably realized that was immature and too harsh. She gave you back the money to clear her conscious and does not want to owe you anything. I think you should move on.

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  • Wait, were you two arguing or anything? What made her blow up like that?

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    • Because I was being typical wanting to work things out and she didn’t want to. (Clingy) So she said she never wanted to speak to me again and blocked me two weeks ago. Now this... so why even bother to unblock me now when she’s on private and say all these things 

    • Oh I see
      Well, I think you should just try to forgot her

  • I think she is trying to get you to fix things oddly enough. I think sending uiu the money and unblocking yoi to do it was done as an excuse to open the door and talk to you while still holding onto her reasoning for being upset. I think she wants you to be upset and apologize and tell her you don't want to lose her and still want to come and see her. If you don't do anything thats her sign that its over for you.. Which she probsou doesn't want but probsly feels its better to know then be stuck in a place of uncertainty.

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  • No never add her back. Let her add you if she wants to! Maybe she did all this in the heat of the moment whilst she was pissed and now she's trying to fear you losing her by doing this makes u think that u lost her for good! After breakup advice: take care of yourself, train, find something ur passionate about (hobby etc) and put your energy in it. Go out with friends and strive to improve yourself by taking out all the bad energy into something productive and avoid stalking her on social media it will only make you frustrated and anxious.

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    • Oh I’m not though cause her profile is on private, always has been. So I’m just confused. Like why? If you were to not care anymore why go through all the trouble of unblocking me you know? You literally gotta actually go through to unblock someone. And I’ve been staying busy, just gets me sometimes and this just happened

  • Maybe she’s the type of person who don’t want anything from you. I’m kinda liked that. Maybe she’s guilty?

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  • I agree give her a little space.. maybe she needs it cuz she's confused

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  • Being in a long distance is so hard but I guess you need to give her some time to sort things out and think of her future!

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  • Maybe she didn't want you to think she was a gold digger.

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  • Probably wants to be in good terms with you and is kind of hoping that you add her. Do it, and go slow if you want her.

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  • I feel like she has decent morals to pay you back. You should message her and ask what's up?

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    • I requested to add her back on ig caus she’s on private. Plus I have the money back to her cause I felt like it wasn’t right to take it. I told her with a small letter that I appreciate her and care about her. I don't know, I really want to work things out with her but I’m just waiting to see what happens

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    • Was it like the next day she unblocked you? I think she realized that she overreacted. For sure you have to ask her how she's really feeling and what was it all about?

    • No it was like a week I was blocked then out of nowhere I found out I was unblocked 3 days ago from everything. I’m talking Snapchat, instagram, phone, everything 😕 so I’m all confused like, okayyy?

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What Guys Said 10

  • Her paying you back might have been her way of putting an end to her having t talk to you again since she wouldn’t “owe” you anything more. Whatever was said in the heated argument must have been enough for her to want to end your relationship.

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  • She probably gave the money back to prevent any feelings of her owing you anything when you broke up. As for why she unblocked you, I don't know. That's kinda weird.

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  • They money back that was probably her morals. I would do the same whether you wanted me to or not because it's wasted money.

    My ex once did that to me after we got into a fight he blocked me and a month or so later I was looking for an old convo on messenger and saw he unblocked me but never added me so I asked him why he would do that and his response was along the lines of "I couldn't stay mad at you and honestly I still care for you a lot whether we talk or not"

    Hopefully that helps with you, but I can totally reason the money thing. Am idea is (not sure how insta is) but if you sent her your address and then it disappeared when she blocked you she might have unblocked you to get your address for the money.

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  • She wanted to pay you back because she felt like she owed you the money, at least this way she can move one with a clear mind. Just give her space for a couple weeks.

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  • Women are confusing. Just sit back and watch the world end 🌎

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  • She wants that Long D and putting in work subtly... it's just how women work, you'll get used to it.

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  • Who cares as long as you got your money back. That's why I don't lend money to people anymore.

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  • She is just angry.. dont know what happened between u two. in anger she has done that

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  • Probably she has a change of heart

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  • she was just being mature.

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