How to let go of the past so you can focus on your future with your partner?

my boyfriend and I had a bad breakup in April but kept going back to each other and falling out again and then so on until about a month ago, when we got back on track. Early on in the relationship (almost a year ago now), my boyfriend messaged other girls sexually (joking about wanting these girls to send him nudes, joking about how he wished he had had sex with one of them, even sending a dirty picture himself). He even had phone calls and FaceTimes with these girls that I was none the wiser about. I forgave him for all of this because it was a stressful time in our lives and he freaked out and tried to sabotage a good thing. The only thing is that I cannot let go of the past. I love him more than words can say but I absolutely do not trust him. I freak out anytime he even works with a girl, let alone chats with her privately. The thing is, before this happened, I wasn’t a jealous person whatsoever - hence the fact that I was okay with my boyfriend messaging these girls.. because he swore they were friends.
I don’t trust him but I absolutely do not want to lose him. He’s stayed loyal to me ever since but the trust isn’t there anymore. Is there anyway that I can get let go of the past and start being able to trust him again? I should probably mention that I have really severe anxiety and therefore when I think about the situation, I can’t stop myself thinking about it.
Please help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I would say do activities that require trust, not only in your partner put also in yourself. Set goals in your relationship that will help you feel more at ease with him that keep him from texting other girls to only texting you and thinking only about you. Set smaller goals to achieve the big goals and celebrate achieved small goals with a fun date like a picnic or a hike or whatever the two of you like.
    And in the end if you still can't manage to trust him, then I hate to say it but you might have to cut ties.
    Hope this helps, best of luck.


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