Why do you get so angry if you're not hiding something?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year
He gets very upset if I go snooping into his. phone.. I really don't know what the big deal is unless your trying to hide stuff. He knows I am a very insecure broken women due to my past relationships.. So if you love a person and you know they are broken wouldn't you want to do anything to reassure them that they are in love with you and they think you are sexier than any other women they have ever seen
It doesn't bother me if he wants to look at my phone. Although he doesn't he says it's not his business so he doesn't go snooping. I think he doesn't care enough that he wants to. I feel like I'm a convenience for him. Plus i think to him, it's like I'm ok. Better than being alone at least. And if someone better and for sure younger does come along then he's gone and it wouldn't take much.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not necessarily about hiding something. It could be about wanting to feel like he has some degree of privacy and that his partner trusts him. My girlfriend and I both know each other's phone passwords but I don't go snooping in her phone and I'm pretty sure she doesn't go in mine. The only exception is that when one of us is driving and we get a text or want to send a text, we will ask the non-driver to get on our phone and do that. Other than that, we don't look at each other's phones. We respect each other and trust each other.

    Here's another thought. Maybe he's been having conversations with a friend about something very personal that his friend told him in private and didn't want shared - like relationship problems or sexual problems or financial problems or something that the friend finds embarrassing and doesn't want anyone else to know. He could be trying to protect that friend. Or he might just feel, like I do, that people are entitled to a certain amount of personal space and privacy even if they're in a relationship.

    If you have issues from past relationships, I think you should work on those, and if you don't trust him, I think the two of you should work on that. But snooping through each other's phones shouldn't be part of the solution. It shouldn't need to be part of the solution.

    Maybe you don't care about having any privacy or feeling respected and trusted, but a lot of people do. Your boyfriend might be one of them. If so, then my opinion is that you are putting your relationship at risk if you keep wanting to snoop into personal stuff like his phone.

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    • Thank you for that. I agree totally. I guess I'm just not sure how to handle this situation. You see I'm not one to Snoop really I'm not but this all started because he had to use my phone and I discovered that he is going on dating sites and one hour sex hookup sites. Also he said he was somewhere one day and location showed he wasn't. Remember I said we have only been together for a little over a year. He lives with me. He lost his home. So what do I do with that

    • Well, if you are sure he's been doing those things since you've been in a relationship with him, then you have good reason not to trust him because he seems to be lying to you and perhaps cheating or at least thinking about cheating. If that's correct, then my opinion would be that you should consider finding a boyfriend that you can trust. In a good relationship, you should be able to trust your partner. And if he was doing those things on your phone, then it almost seems like he wanted to get caught (or at the very least wasn't taking precautions to avoid it).

      Have you discussed it with him? If not, I think you should. Get his explanation. If he doesn't have a really good explanation (and it's hard to imagine a good explanation for the things you described), then I think you should seriously consider dumping him and finding a guy that will be faithful to you and that you can trust.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe he thinks you don’t trust him enough if you keep taking his phone.

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    • Well maybe I don't. You see how the whole looking at his phone in the first place is because he had to use my phone for a few days and when he did I discovered that he is going on dating sites and hookup in a hour sites. So what am I supposed to do with that. Like I said we've only been dating for a little over a year. He lives with me. He lost his home.

    • A relationship is based on trust and if you don’t trust him, leave him. If you know he’s not being loyal and going on hook up sites and so on, why the fuck are you still with him? Kick him out, he’s not respecting you or valuing your relationship.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I would dump my girlfriend if she ever snooped through my phone. I don't have anything to hide. It's a matter of principle, not a question of hiding or not hiding anything. Geez, you are looking through his phone, and you are only his girlfriend, and not even his wife (still would be wrong to snoop into his phone even if you were his wife).

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  • Some things in a relationship are sacred. Respecting each other's privacy is one of them.
    If you go looking for dirt, you'll always find dirt. Mostly by misconstruing, not understanding, jumping to conclusions.
    It's a disgusting thing to do.

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  • Wow you need to chill. I have never and I mean NEVER cheated on a woman I was with. I do however value my privacy. I will give the woman I am with every single bit of myself my heart my soul and all of my secrets. I yearn to do this. However no one and I mean absolutely no one is taking shit from me. He doesn't Snoop through your stuff because he respects you and will trust you until he doesn't, and when and if that happens there is no going back. When you Snoop and say I promise you will find something or anything to fit inside your paranoia and you will ruin your relationship. Leave it alone. If he cheats then he cheats and then get rid of him. There is nothing you can do to stop it.

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  • It's an invasion of privacy. And it's ridiculous to ever think or expect your partner to think of you as the sexiest woman ever.

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  • Are you deliberately trying to scare this guy off. If so, you're doing a great job.

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  • People like you should never date.

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  • Maybe he have nudes on his phone

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What Girls Said 1

  • he just wants privacy and he wants you to trust him. im dont hide sht but i wouldn't want my boyfriend looking through my phone either

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