Guys, I'm super confused, help me think of what I can do?

So. I'm 24. hard to believe but I have never dated. My mother passed when i was 15, and my father has had some financial troubles for a long time. So I've been the pillar of the family to depend on for my father and my younger brother. When it comes to dating I'm clueless. And then one day this guy walks into my life and says he's been crushing on me for over a year and has been watching, his confidence to say it out loud in public melt my heart. And then we started dating. but i was going through some stuff with work and one day i got super drunk and became demanding. he then mentioned he wanted me to be myself the way i've always been they way i was when he first saw me. I didn't like it so i asked what he meant the next day when i was sober. he started over-reacting and said he was wrong about me. he thought we were similar in many ways but we were far different from each other. and now it's over.
But to be honest I really liked being with him, yes we're very similar in many ways which i don't really like but then again better to have someone during hard times than to suffer alone. I tried asking if we could start again and he said it was over. i tried talking but he refused to listen. but after that i still acted normal saying at least lets be friends and just be like before which he then replied "that's what i wanted to hear". but even so there is awkwardness. we make small talks. I hate awkwardness. he still glances at me and does make small effort to talk to me and listens to little things i mention to my friends. in some ways im glad he left because i wouldn't want to be of burden especially since my life is a mess right now. but at the same time i wish he was here to hold me.
Anyone got any suggestions to what i could do to fix things? or even just make it less awkward?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You must have said some terrible shit. No guy would leave a girl that easily, especially if he had a crush on you for that long.

    • i didn't say anything... so when i was drunk i remembered everything we kissed and we acted normal but i was a little more demanding and he was pushing me away because he was insecure since he just rushed to me after his football match. I didn't care but yea in the end he still sat next to me and held me and also checked that i went home safe. the next day we were still chatting normally untill i asked him what he meant when he asked me to be normal like i was when he first met me. and then he just left. so i removed the nickname i made for him in our chat he removed my nickname. then it was over.

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    • do u think it would be alright to talk to him? i just dont understand why leave after going through all that trouble finally have it then let it go so easily. by the way this all happened in 1 week.

    • I think you should move to a new guy. What you're experiencing right now is a terrible emotion that makes you even more miserable. You got to a point where you invested yourself to this guy, but now that it's all fucked up, you're still holding on because you don't want to "throw it away". It's like holding on to the anchor of a crashed ship. It'll just drag you down. Move on and find someone new. You can always find someone /something better, no matter what we're talking about.

      Good luck!

  • I kind of went through that no dating till 25 here. Though she just over reacted to every thing and over thought herself into breaking up with me. Her freinds call her crazy for losing me cause of how great I am for her. But she has her own issues and I found some one way better.

    Honestly you found a nice guy who had a picture of who you were in his head. When you broke the perfect image he could not handle you. Which is his own issue. I wanted to be freinds with my ex but she could not handle it and I'm glad that she could not cause she turned out to be a jerk. As for the less awkward I asked out a freind after and it took a while and a hug to make things be normal. Talking just did not help.

    With him it is over nothing you can do to fix it cause YOU did not break it.

    I know that feeling of just wanting to be held but you need someone new and better to hold you. It hurts and sucks till in time you find an amazing guy to hold you and put up with you forever because he loves you and you love everything about him just like he loves all of you.

    Good luck in finding a MAN for you. Not someone who put you on a pedestal and bailed after seeing the real you.


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