Got a nasty message from my bf’s ex (didn’t know she existed) where she insults me and informs me they were still together as we starated dAting?

i had no idea, but they were still together for a long while, like 3 months, as him and I started dating. He never mentioned her, they were doing long distance.

Apparently, he got distant and she broke up with him because of that. She than discovered he had been dating me and that was the reason he got distant. They apparently had a huge fight about it.

She now wrote me a message where she insults me and informs me that he wasn’t free as we started seeing each other.

Actually he offered me a holiday some 4.5 months after we started dating: she also informed me that it was her reservation. I thought it was such a nice gesture of him, realizing it’s the recycled tickets he had bought for his ex leaves me without words...

i dont know what to do

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm sure that doesn't feel good. My opinion is that she should not have contacted you, but she did and now you know what happened there.

    Because that was a long distance relationship, I don't feel as badly about it as I would if he was still dating her in person while dating you. I think he should have told you about her and the situation though. I can imagine him being afraid to, not knowing how you'd react, but not telling you seems deceitful and would make me worry about what else he hasn't told you. I think that damaged the trust that's so important for a relationship.

    I think what I'd do in your situation is talk with him about it. Try not to be angry, but be firm that you're hurt by the way he handled that and see how he reacts to that. I would stress that openness and honesty are important in good relationships and that if you're going to stay together something like this can't happen again. Then I'd ask if there are any other things he hasn't told you that you should know.

    Assuming that he seems genuinely sorry for hurting you and sincerely promises to be open and honest with you in the future, then I'd be willing to continue the relationship. But if he makes up excuses and acts like he doesn't think you should be upset about it and seems like he'd have no problem doing something like that again, then I'd think really hard about staying with him. Trust is essential in a good relationship and if he doesn't see anything wrong with keeping important information like that from you, it's hard to imagine how you can have the kind of trust that a good relationship requires.

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  • She's a ho fuck her and fuck the media

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd confront him about it. She is a bitch for insulting you. But he still shouldn't have done it

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