My mom keeps trying to force me and my boyfriend to break up, and it’s hurting all of us. Should I keep doing what makes me happy or just give up?

For the past few months, my mom has been ceaselessly trying to break up my boyfriend and me. This occurred at first when she stole my phone and read our messages. She got angry with me because he told me he loved me. Eventually, she felt bad and let us see each other again. She kept telling me I couldn’t see him again over and over then changing her mind each time. This causes serious emotional pain. She keeps saying that I’m a different person and that I’m throwing my life away for him, but the only difference is that I go out more and don’t stay in and hang out with her. All my friends say that since I’ve met my boyfriend, I’ve been nicer and more outgoing as well. My therapist tells my mom that she can’t tell me who I can and can’t be with, and she listened to that for a while but claimed that she’d never support it and if we got married she wouldn’t come. My boyfriend has never done anything to hurt me or my mother before, yet she blames him for our relationship falling apart. In my eyes, it’s because my mom says hurtful things to me and pushes me away and acts like I’m choosing a boy over her. I’m not— over the summer, I did break up with my boyfriend for a little bit because my mom is mt mom and that relationship means more to me, but she snapped at me saying that I’m “not heroic for breaking up with him” and that I should “just do whatever I want”. Recently, we’ve been fighting over my grades. They’re not that great right now because it’s the beginning of the school year and getting one point wrong on a quiz knocks your grade down significantly just because there aren’t any other grades in. This is especially true because I’m in all AP classes. She keeps on blaming my boyfriend, even though we haven’t been seeing each other outside of school. She told me I can never see him again and she’ll contact my school to keep us apart. While I’m only 16 and I realize my mom has ultimate say over what I do, she always says to do what makes me happy. What do I do? help!!


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  • thats real shitty of her... i was 15 when i started dating, but my mom never meddled with us... she and i would fight all the time, but shed leave him alone... i say do whatever makes you happy, and tell her that... also, if she says she wouldn't come to your wedding, fine. shell be the one regretting it :/

    • Thank you for saying that. I appreciate your opinion. She always says to do what makes me happy, then makes that impossible. I’ll keep on trying (: gotta stay positive.

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