Why a guy I met online, with great potential for dating IRL, doesn't tell me he has a child?

Hi, I met this guy online some time ago on FB, but It wasn't until a month ago that we finally hit it off, and started texting, calling and video calls. The communication has been amazing, and we promised to meet/date soon since he is returning to my town in a month.

He told me the story of his life, and about a difficult and long-term relationship he had. But he didn't say he had a kid. He has two really old photos on his profile of his ex, and another one that he is with a child. I got curious about her, and I was able to find a really old post, where he stated, in Spanish, the birth of a baby girl. I was surprised because I thought it was a cousin or a niece at first. (I don't speak Spanish)

He is in his country, and he has been kind of shady since his return. He doesn't text as much, and he spends time “visiting family and friends”. Now, I don't know what to do or to think.

A child for me, is not so much of a deal breaker, although I am not very fond of the idea since I have none of my own, I can accept it if the relationship would turn into something serious in the future.

But the issue is that he omitted it when we talked, and we talked about a lot of serious stuff in our lives. I even mentioned a few times my little brother and cousins.

Why is he hiding this information? Is there a wife/girlfriend back home? If not, why so shady? Guilt?

He seems like a really nice guy, and things were going REALLY good with him. Seems the rest of all his info is accurate. But this situation has made me back up a bit, and reconsider the situation.

He didn't lie or hid the information in his profile, but he didn't say it. Also, there is the possibility he wants to meet me first to see what happens, I would understand that, but I would have been upfront with it since he got a chance.

What should I do now? Ask him? Wait for him to tell me? What do you think is behind this behavior? Maybe he was expecting me to find out on my own?

What do you think guys? Thanks.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think if you confront him about it, he'd just say that he was waiting for the right time to tell you or something like that. Ask him instead if there is anything else you need to know and see if he comes clean. Maybe ask him about his family.

    He would not be the first guy to conceal a family back home, and, although it hurts a guy in dating to have one or more kids, that is no excuse to conceal that- that is basic info that should be shared with any woman you meet who you're thinking of dating.

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    • Thanks for your answer, I really appreciate it.
      I did ask him, a long time ago about his family. He told me the story of his life, and about his parents, grandparents, and relatives. Then he talked about the long-term relationship, saying it ended, and mentioned a girl from his country who was living here and who he dated sometime later but things didn't work out either.
      Since he didn't say anything about kids or marriage, I ruled that out.
      I know if I confront him, he will say he was expecting for the right moment to tell me, and I do believe that if he is single, the issue of having a kid might have affected his dating chances so he omitted it on purpose. Also, he might see me as a fling in a foreign country or something like that. And if he has a wife, well, that's even more obvious.
      So I will go for the second option, to ask him if he has something else to tell me to see if he comes clean.
      Thanks again!


    • No problem- I hope you get to the bottom of it.

    • Thanks for the MHO

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