Would you be able to date someone 40+ miles away from you?

just started talking to a guy recently but i’m a future thinker, and he lives 80 miles away.

and he's originally not even FROM my state. he’s here for college.

I only see it really working as a weekend thing unless he moved closer eventually, but i’m not putting too much thought into it, cause like I said we just started talking.

just weighing how worth it that it may be.

0|1
015

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have before with girls living outside of Tokyo I met while they were on vacation here, but they turned out to live pretty far away. And I found it a drag that we might only be able to see each once a week or two.

    When I was used to formerly seeing girls 5+ times a week, it starts to feel like it takes ages to build something there if you're only seeing a girl once every two weeks... like snail pace. So I tried to avoid that whenever possible.

    I'm not so forward-thinking as to contemplate where she might end up years from now or anything like that, since I figure if we built something strong enough, we could make that work (I might even move to her area as I could work remotely). But even in the present without thinking about future, I found it to be too slow and annoying to only be able to date someone once a week or two.

    0|0
    0|0
    • In my case we were talking at least 2-hour drives or train rides though from Tokyo.

    • Show All
    • Also I wasn't a "multitasking" dater. I never dated more than one girl at a time (liked to dedicate my entire attention to her). If I could multitask that way, I might have been able to tolerate more distance and very infrequent dating... but I never liked that sort of thing.

    • Well, not disliked... I'd suck at it. :-D I'd mostly start jumbling things I remember about the girls up -- confusing one for the other, in ways that would be quite awkward even if we weren't exclusive yet.

  • That's not too bad, but you may need to compromise. Like you said, weekends might be the only time you can get together, can you accept that?

    This happened with me and an ex. We were about the same distance apart and were only about to see each other on weekends, which was fine in the beginning. But as time went on and we got closer, she especially wanted to see me more and more, and it just wasn't possible. But she kept pressuring me about it and weekends wasn't enough anymore. This wasn't the only reason we broke up, but it was one of them because at the time I was stressed as it was, and she was only adding to it because I couldn't do anything about it, but she didn't see it that way. As I say, there were other more serious issues as well, but this was one of the reasons it didn't work to. But I think it can work, it just depends on the two people involved and how willing they are to compromise and what they will and won't accept.

    0|0
    0|0
    • it’s not the distance it’s more the me being in the dating scene for the entirety of this new hook up culture everyone’s in. and seeing all the dudes who are out of town for the week and away from girlfriends seeking others to hook up with.

      it’s not wanting to be made into a fool if he turns out to be one of those guys that I have issue with.

      say we only see each other Friday evening through Sunday evening. then we have 4.5 days of not seeing each other.

      that’s 4.5 days for him to get bored lmao

    • Well that depends on the type of guy he is. Get to know him and see if you trust him. Because not all guys are like that. I'd never cheat on someone, ever. Even if I was in an unhappy relationship. If the thought crossed my mind, that tells me "something's wrong" with my current relationship and I'd either try to fix it, or end that relationship, not cheat.

    • And I'd also never "get bored" either. I never understood that logic. I've never "got bored". I think those people that do are not really into the relationship to begin with if that's the case?

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Compared to me that is not much - I am in an online relationship with someone 5,000 miles away but that is me.
    Okay the obvious difference is you want a RL dating or relationship I think. I would not put too much thought into it, at some stage you think you are getting closer then start to think about the practicalities. I would look at a couple of weekend dates and see where it goes,
    I think bottom line is what you want - Are you looking for something where you are seeing someone close maybe a couple of times a week, if things go really well get serious move in together etc etc.
    My thoughts are is it worth it to limit your pool, you don't what could happen with this guy worst case scenario you have a few weekend dates , best case scenario things go very well up to making plans to moving closer.
    My point is you don't go on a dating app and say "Only a person with two kids (a boy and girl under 10), a male dog and living within 10 miles of my home need respond" - Extreme but you get my point.
    Final thought, I and my girlfriend are very much in love and circumstances are almost impossibly stacked against us. I wouldn't let a distance of 80 miles interfere as its not forever and maybe you might be lucky and end up wanting to or being closer to each other. As always best of luck in your decision and life

    0|0
    0|0
  • It depends on how often you want to see each other and all that. And then another issue is a visit can take up the entire day or weekend with one person being away from their home. Sometimes people have things they need to get done at home and this can interfere. I was in a LDR with a 120 mile distance and it didn't work out well. A lot of it had to do with work schedules and I had to work a lot of weekends at the time.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Weigh how worth it when you guys get more involved with one another. Also 40 miles is like an hour's drive or so. So it'd be like a alright commute.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, I only had LDR, on G@G, so I was willing to move away for that girl
    In my opinion an hour of driving just to see me girlfriend (if I ever had one) is worth it..

    0|0
    0|0
  • I had a online female friend who lived 213 miles, it honestly depends on the Interest and how much do both people want each other in their lives.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Depends on you really. I would not date anyone I can't drive to when they need a hug or just a person to make them feel better.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It would depend on how into the person I was. My wife and I when we started dating lived an hour apart

    0|0
    0|0
  • My wife lived almost that far away and we mainly saw each other on weekends and moved in together after a year of that

    0|0
    0|0
  • its a 30minute drive so wouldn't stop me in the slightest

    0|0
    0|0
    • well, I said 40 PLUS.

      for instance my case is more like an hour and a half.

    • Show All
    • you’re not wrong. i’m probably paranoid but I’m sick of getting hurt and fucked around lmao

    • yeah we all get like that so i do understand

  • If you feel strongly enough for him I think you could make it work

    0|0
    0|0
  • just ride the distance, why not? we then ride that distance just to go visit friends...

    0|0
    0|0
    • i don’t have any friends that live that far.

    • just saying that it could work, especially as a weekend thing because 80 miles is not that far.

  • Imperial miles or metric miles?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing wrong with a bit of weekend lovin'!

    0|0
    0|0
    • I do have a pretty busy work week too usually, because I have the gym AND work and have to go to bed fairly early because of it. so it’s probably the most ideal.

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...