What makes someone look desperate?

Also, would you date someone who seemed desperate in the past but now looks like a decent person? Or would you lose interest in someone if they'd look a bit desperate? How much is too much?
Updates:
By "look" i mean what behaviour you'd consider desperate

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Most Helpful Guys

  • 1) Ignoring clear signals of disinterest in conversation (like glasses, pulled down hat, earphones on, pretending to read something).

    2) Being shotgunned with a lot of unsolicited information regarding how they are doing that is also really vague. Saying things like "oh yeah I have a lot going for me right now!" or "So much on my plate! busy busy busy!"

    3) Making sure to include the mention of a clearly non-existent boyfriend in every sentence while constantly downgrading the imaginary person's status as they droll on like "Oh yeah me boy friend and I.." to "This guy I've been seeing..." to "This guy friend I have..." to "This guy I sort of know." (Big tip here: Not actually naming the supposed boyfriend even once for several mentions on is a red flag).

    4) Violating personal space to an unnecessary degree. Like sitting really close (to where they may as well be in my lap despite there being plenty of room to sit elsewhere). Constant fondling of clothing and touching of the arms hands and thighs. Moving their head to awkward positions to avoid loosing eye contact for even a moment.

    As for how I regard them when I see them doing better... Good for them I guess? But honestly desperate is rarely just that. It's also usually at least a little crazy (in that unstable to psychotic way) as well. I don't need to be dipping stick in crazy. Even if it is crazy-hot. Don't need a meltdown waiting to happen at the first sign of life tossing some inconvenience in my life.

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    • Interesting. However, invading personal space it's a type of body language someone may unintentionally do when they like you. I agree with some of the things you said though.

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    • Ahh okay, thanks for clearing it up. I’ve never seen or heard of that before but I don’t doubt people doing this at all.

    • @jessicake Oh sometimes they even do it with a real guy. I was talking to a girl out back of a restaurant (she worked there and was on break. I'd just finished my meal and was having a few puffs of pipe tobacco). And a guy walks out and puts his arm around her. And she was like "this is my husband." He says "what's up" lights smokes and has a few drags before someone calls him back inside. Then as we continue talking she says "he's really more of a boyfriend" (at which point I notice she has no ring). A minute or so later she calls him just a friend. Then a minute or so after that she looks over her shoulder and I see him in the kitchen watching us. She looks back at me and out of no where says "Actually, he just likes to watch. Is that ok?" XD

  • The only real example that I can give you a girl being desperate. this one girl in high school had the hots for me likes me and she was over zealously trying to sell herself to me to convince me that she liked me and it can happen today she hasn't really changed and this conversation that she's never initiated with this one person she found everything negative wrong with him and thought he was trying to jump her bones and I told her what you wanted to hear but truthfully inside I believed that it was her deep-seated in a row she's an attraction to me trying to find everything wrong with one person just to deflect her own personal problems.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Coming on too strong as in wanting to hear from me too much or moving way too fast. Don’t get me wrong I need constant communication and not leaving me on seen for hours without letting me know what’s up.

    The thing is, desperate doesn’t have a look it’s an action. Someone isn’t considered desperate because their staring at you, wanting to approach you. It’s desperate when you set the boundaries and the person still goes beyond them just so you can move on their pace.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 15

  • The way i see it its the same thing as needyness in a relationship. Its a two way street, if one shows way more interest than the other he or she will come off as desperate on the dating scene and needy in a relationship

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  • begging but in certain situations

    and settling for anything rather than sticking to someone's principles

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  • There os a big difference between having a crush and desperate. I try to figure out what makes desperate peope tock and at tbe same time double chrck my behavior to make sure im not labeled desperate lol

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  • Honestly, desperate girls are flattering. I dont see it as negative thing in girls

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    • You will one day when tbe stalker crodses your path lol

    • @txkev61 There is a difference between a stalker that is being weird and creeps you out, and some cute girl that is very desperate to talk to you or whatever.

    • She May just have a crush not desperate
      Unless you think so little yourself that you think she must be desperate

  • Don't really care. After 3 weeks of me treating her as equal she'll get over that and start telling me how I don't treat her well enough.

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  • Desperation is just the way u express your longing for attention... When u don't expect attention or crave it things get easier and the Best things come to Light

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  • Id say desperate people are just in need of someone in there life that cares for them in the same way they care about others 👍😊

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  • I have never understood this need to not seem desperate the only off putting thing is clingyness

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    • Then what hehaviour you consider clingy? They're pretty close anyway

    • Constant need for communication or meeting up and acting childish about it when it's not possible

  • When men go out with wemon just bc they look sexy or go out with sluts and vise versa

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  • You can chat text me on Hangouts makinde. oluwatunmise@gmail. com

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  • Being clingy and way too nice.

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  • Desperate people get marked and off my list

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  • You seem desperate to me.

    No offense.

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    • You know, if you don't have anything useful to say then don't say it. Ironically, trolls are actually people desperate for attention haha

  • Probably constant perstering

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  • l would date the girl why not

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What Girls Said 5

  • To me the most desperate thing is if someone is so desperate to be in a relationship, any relationship, with about anybody, to just be in a relationship for the sake of it. You know caring more about the relationship and the image than the person.

    But something desperate is generally is calling repeatedly at the same time if the phone wasn’t picked the first time. Call again later or leave a text.

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  • Talking about marriage and babies on the first date and being mushy before even going on a date. Never had the former but I did have the latter several times. I told the guys to give up trying and pursue someone else lol

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  • When I tell a guy about my conquests with other guys, to put him off and he behaves like a cuckold for still wanting a chance with me and even wanting to be 2nd choice, that would be very desperate and off putting.

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  • Being extra clingy (always calling, texting, etc), doing things that you wouldn't normally do... just being annoying honestly

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  • Chasing someone who keeps ghosting you

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