Why can't a girl be honest with me just for once?

Iam a pretty honest guy, and a very good looking one according to 99% of females (regardless of age) i met or my parents met, i also put an effort and make sure to look and dress good, as a result i get so much attention from women.

Met this girl months ago, it started rocky , hot and cold, soon she would message more, disappear then reappear a couple weeks later, i saw her with a guy once, a while later messaged her asking who that was to which she replied "He's no one its okay " ... the past couple of months have been great, texting day and night, went out a lot, cuddled, made out, emotional talk and she keeps telling i wish you were here, i wish you can hug me i wish i can always be with you... etc

Iam not the most emoitional dude but for a while i believed it, sh*t she even removed pics of her with that dude from social media, she asked me what are we and i explained to her that we like each others company and all is going well, she asked again a week later and i told her looks like emotions are getting involved and it may result in something more, she agreed and wanted that... i asked her if she wants anything serious or just finds me hot and wanna spend time with me she replied " you really thing i would agree to date you just cause you're hot?" , not gonna lie i liked that answer i truly did.

but now 3 weeks after our convo, she is distant, acts weird, cold and just the spark isn't there anymore, for a while i thought i might give something serious a chance but nope looks like i was wrong , i just wish for once to find a girl who actually is as honest as me and tells me what she wants, but no they always lie lie and keep lying.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You'll find a girl that's going to be honest, don't blame us all bc of the couple girls you didn't find being honest.
    That girl you're referring to showed signs right from the start she wasn't sincere, for that you shouldn't have been surprised by what's happening now with her.

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    • couple? more like a couple dozens , she's not the first and i dont think she will be the last to lie to me, if you can just hang out with me for a day and see the amount of taken girls who have no problem getting me with me you'd probably side with me on this one

Most Helpful Guy

  • In my opinion it's not always dishonesty. I had a girl who told me she'd love me forever no matter what happened, even if I became a cripple, jobless, anything. And that sounded very sweet and she broke up with me a year later (actually cold feet when we were engaged to be married). :-D

    But I don't think she was lying at the time. I just came to realize she's very fickle. She fell for me too quickly, perhaps, as she said such things just a few months into dating, and maybe her idea of who I am was different from who I turned out to be as more time passed.

    I've come to put very little stock into words as a result. Even if they aren't intended to deceive, the person could change their mind. I've often found it a path to nothing but pain if you take mere words too seriously.

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    • I am the kind of guy who doesn't take what most women say seriously i realize they dont even understand themselves at times, but she seemed rationale, good and decent enough plus she's from a good family and her parents raised her well from the looks of it , i have known her for about 10 months, i thought after all this time if she truly wanna go out with me, talk to me, flirt with me and tell me she has feelings for me then it can't be a lie, but i was wrong, looks like she is simply to fragile to be believed she changes her mind every two seconds, she's not someone who i can trust to build something with, such women can never have a happy lasting relationships , if we end up exclusively dating chances are she will bored and go look for someone else.

    • With that one I got engaged to before, she reminded me of a cat... like making you feel like they love you so much one moment, then lose interest the next... very fickle. But whatever the case, I think you have to guard the heart -- distrust the words a bit... protect yourself.

    • yeah fortunately iam a rational and reasonable guy, and if i find something fishy i stop and take a good look at it, is it worth it or not "?

      she's attractive, she's been always nice to me, she's from a good family, we like each other, we enjoy each others company and we click pretty well... on the other hand she is cheating on her boyfriend with me, she lied to me countless times, she acts weird at times and can't even come up with a decent lie, bottom line, i can't trust her even if i want to.

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What Girls Said 2

  • How has she lied exactly? I’m not really seeing it? Her saying she wants to be with your forever could well have been meant at the time but feelings change. That doesn’t mean she was lying when she said it.

    But really, you’ve said you dated/hung out for months and that she tried to have the “what are we” talk several times and you were non-committal. Why would she want to keep investing time in you if you’re not on the same page? You’ve said you considered something serious, for many people a few months is already moving into serious territory and she may have just gotten sick of waiting

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    • 1- i told her if we keep doing what we're doing right now feelings will get stronger and we will end up in something serious, she happily agreed, so dont go assuming stuff.

      2- here's how she lied :
      I asked her who the guy was , she said no one , soon i found out they're about to get engaged
      she said she had feelings for me and wants more, now she's distant and gets irritated at the samellest thing, i flirted with her a couple times and she lost her mind, plus not contacting me for days at a time, she blocks me on fb and instagram and tells me she didn't do it yet no one else has access to her social media, she tells me she's going somehwere with her friends but she is actually there with her boyfriend... and the list goes on and on

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    • idiot? iam not the one being cheated on, i couldt care less about her boyfriend what i care about is her being honest with me, just tell me i dont want anything serious and i like where we are not " what are we " kinda of sh! t.

      no matter how hard you try you won't be able to turn this on me you sound so bitter, the proof is right there before you yet you're trying your best to bash me instead of actually thinking with your head, i didn't expect much more from a woman tbh, you've probably done this few times yourself so surely you're not gonna side with me against a fellow girl , after all if she's in the wrong so are you.

    • 😂 good lord look at how defensive you get.

      If a man starts dating a woman, finds out she
      - has a boyfriend
      - lies about it
      - tries to hide it on social media by blocking him
      - then LIES about blocking him

      And he STILL tries to date her then cries foul when she plays hot and cold yeah. He’s an idiot. Because any smart guy would go “oh. Boyfriend? Nah, see ya!” and find someone who isn’t a cheating slut. Because if she goes behind her boyfriends back, she’ll go behind yours it’s common sense.

      There is no kinship because she’s female, she isn’t here asking for advice you are and you can’t control her behaviour but you can control your reaction to it. If someone doesn’t behave in a manner that befits the kind of relationship you want; live by your own standards and walk away.
      But the again we aren’t working with common sense here, just someone who wants to rage against women everywhere so I’ll leave you to that ✌🏻

  • 1) "i asked her if she wants anything serious or just finds me hot and wanna spend time with me she replied " Any girl after that won't like to be with you.

    2) May be she was honest and she truly liked you. You can't trust her but you expect her to trust you. Don't play detectivee. Don't be judgmental. Just tell her how you feel and then she may open up to you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • How did she lie?

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    • I asked her who the guy was , she said no one , soon i found out they're about to get engaged
      she said she had feelings for me and wants more, now she's distant and gets irritated at the samellest thing, i flirted with her a couple times and she lost her mind, plus not contacting me for days at a time, she blocks me on fb and instagram and tells me she didn't do it yet no one else has access to her social media, she tells me she's going somehwere with her friends but she is actually there with her boyfriend... and the list goes on and on

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