Why is it shocking to some women that men have standards for dating too that is beyond just looks?

Guys, if you could choose between these 7 girls, which one would you pick to be your girlfriend?

In this question the asker listed a bunch of women with imho a bunch of unappealing personality traits and so despite how attractive they look i would not want to date any of them because of that. Other guys in that question seemed to agree as well.

As a response, the asker seemed really shocked about all the guys saying they wouldn't date these girls.

Is it really that shocking that men have their own personality standards too?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because she must be an ugly girl who thinks she has a great personality but gets passed over because of her looks. Therefore all men must be lying when they say personality matters. Little does she know that her personality may not be so great afterall.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The guys these girls tend to like DO only care about looks though. These girls will never know what it means to actually come home to a loving partner and family every night.

    It's similar to how they paint their face on and try and sculpt to what they THINK we like, but end up looking like michael jackson the second.

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What Girls Said 33

  • None of the personal traits she listed seemed appealing. Reading over some of the guys responses made me laugh. I’m not surprised the guys reacted the way they did. I wouldn’t even consider the guys responses to be considered standards. Those women all seemed annoying. I think the asked expected the guys to overlook the character flaws and focus more on the girls appearance.

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  • Mens standards aren't exactly standards. its just ridiculous. Most men just want sex and want you to look like Angelina Jolie yet dont have Brad Pitt money.

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    • Girls=looks
      Guys= money 🤔

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    • @WeirdoWerdo have fun wasting the precious time of your life looking for good girls.
      Get your ass up, go out there, grab a beer and get tipsy. Then enjoy yourself, have a good time and have fun.
      Why do you think they're out partying rather than staying home and bingwatching YouTube? Because they wanna live life. They don't need a conservative looser that doesn't know how to make them laugh and give them a good time.

    • I did find a girl who isn't a partying tho so...

  • I don’t think she seemed shocked? Even the question itself seemed to be set up in a way where all the girls had some really weird or extreme views and traits.
    I don’t find it shocking at all that guys want to be with someone they click with too and not just someone they find physically attractive.

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    • I’m more referring to a comment she made towards me under one of the girls answers.

    • I think you took even that comment way too seriously.

    • Even so, I see girls making these kinds of judgements quite often

  • Because guys usually seem desperate. Their end goal is just to get laid so... Can they really be picky?

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    • another woman stereotyping men...

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    • @Lumirayz Exactly. I agree with that!

    • If a guy thinks I'm a gold digger, then i don't care what he thinks of me. I just know he's going to be single for a long time.

  • Because 90% of times guys tolerate bad personality if she looks hot

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  • Lmao because men don't really have standards, they all have specific deal breakers but that's about it. And even then, they many times still break their standards and go for the opposite.

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  • No not shocking. I’m guessing she may have thought it was shocking however by the stereotype that most men care more about looks than personality. Clearly that poll shows the complete opposite and that guys have standards as well that don’t just depend on looks. I’m not gonna lie.. some of those personalities provided made me cringe

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  • Even i would want a handsome guy with cheap personality so it is not shocking to see this in men too but i must say those men are smart

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  • As if women can only be one of these categories. I'm a mix of few and don't want to be chosen for such treats anyways.
    Having standards feels better than someone who just needs a vagina. A lot of people can be perfect on paper but something doesn't click.

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  • That question doesn't pertain to real life experiments in which I would wholeheartedly believe there's something true about that statement UNLESS if 100 women were to be selected to partake to see how well, males will respond in general. A few test sampled responses from male gaggers (which some are not really verified as legit males in my opinion) doesn't really elicit and is enough to warrant accurate responses to certain typical female personalities in real life.

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  • I’m not shocked 🤷🏻‍♀️
    But maybe that’s cause I’ve always been told that looks don’t go too far and my family is full of dudes. Plus my guy friends soooo

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  • It’s not shocking to me. Looks can only take a woman so far anyways.

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  • Very shocking actually. Guys easily tolerate a girl's bitchy behavior if she is attractive, I see it everywhere. And many not-so-conventionally-attractive women are disregarded for their looks despite being good as people.

    I saw real-life proof. This one man was searching for a match to marry and gave his general info and what he wants in a partner. But when someone found him a woman who met all his criteria he rejected her because of her appearance. And these kind of people are the same ones posting 'I want beautiful soul not face' 'looking for soul mate' 'be unique be yourself' blah blah blah.

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    • It's like my mama always told me "Personality is the always the most important thing, but being attractive is what will get your foot in the door" What we are seeing in the question is a lot of the latter but very little of the former, If your personality sucks then it doesn't matter how good you look it won't last. At the same time if you don't look at least presentable, no one will get a chance to know what you are really like. I get it's kind of shallow but its true.

  • Because the retards outnumber the ones who are sensible

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  • this is so true!!! however i think less so for younger men and more so as they mature. i think "connection" is a lot less common in late teens and early 20s then say in late 20s and beyond.

    i know for instance in high school my best friend was a 10. I've always been a solid 8. i eat like a trucker and my nose is a little larger bwhaha. in our teens men used to ignore me and flock to her. howe er as 23 hit it was about 50/50. many of the guys, the hotter ones, would be attracted to me because i have a better sense of humour, live to chat about tough subjects like politics and have better fashion. dont get me wrong. my bestie has some awesome traits too! just different ones. so we attracted different men. if men always went for looks that would have gone straight to her. but they didn't.

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  • Haha tell that to my mum. When I was younger I couldn't get a date to save my life and she was always suggesting it was about my sense of style, which was bad... But my personality was worse (very boring etc).

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  • I think a lot of women have almost a caricature understanding of the male sexuality.

    They believe your worst traits to the power of 1 million. They do not understand that a man can be sexual and only want sex with one female. They do not understand that a man can value a woman's personality as well as her looks. And they do not understand that a man is not superficial if he just can't find someone attractive even if they love their personality.

    Women do not understand men though we say we do. I wish women had more courage to hear what men are telling us because I think it would really help us in having a better relationship with men.

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  • Oh my, that take is so awful... Stupid and full of stereotypes... Everyone has standards and it is normal.

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  • Mmm I've always seen it as a mixture of both. Hence why men like some women only to sleep with and others to date or marry.

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  • it's all bullshit. all men are the same animal and they all looking for some convinience and benefit. men are not some different animal fallen down from the sky.

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  • not shocking at all.
    one guy i was seeing last year often said things like "why can't you cook normal dishes with regular (soy sauce) flavour?

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  • Some men do. But it's impossible for women to believe they're the majority when past experiences proved us otherwise.

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    • So a woman dates a few guys and she assumes the whole is the same as the few she dated? Isn't that narrow-minded? Unless the woman dates about half the people in her country it doesn't seem right for people to judge on a scale like that.

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    • I understand, It's impossible for me to believe the majority of women aren't heartless cheaters who only use men for money because of my own experiences.

    • And i would agree with you there, cause most women i see are all about that, yet somehow they're taken and I'm not.

  • My last ex boyfriend only wanted me for sex. Also the one guy I went on a date with after my ex and I broke up, ghosted me because I wouldn't sleep with him on the first date. I am going to be more assertive in relationships so I don't attract those kinds of guys. But right now, I need to focus on becoming a Surgeon's Assistant with an advanced practice degree. And I get where you're coming from. My ex was attractive but he treated me like crap. No matter how attractive someone is, a person's patience for their shit personality runs out. I've never broken up with anyone so I was trying to figure out how to go about ending a relationship, but he ended things first. Over text, no less. I hinted I was going to end things in person, and so he did it first over text.

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  • I only care about looks because there are so many fat girls. If there were normal white girls then I would care about personality.

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  • Many women assume men only care about looks.

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  • No. Same as we. We have standard about both personality and looks too.

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  • that doesn't shock me...

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  • It not shocking for me

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  • We need more of these men

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  • 'Cause they are dumb feminists.

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What Guys Said 43

  • We continually tell them that personality is more important, but many of them still don't believe us.

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  • I think some of it is because some women view their exes as assholes who were only after one thing, sex, and only because the girl is attractive. Especially so if the woman isn't that attractive and is constantly getting passed over. For some guys it may be her looks but it could also be her personality and she just thinks it's because of her looks.

    Then there are the guys who started dating a girl because of his perception of her personality. Once he realizes that her personality doesn't mesh with his instead of just leaving the relationship he begins to view that the only thing she is good for is sex. Which leads to the assumption that guys only want one thing. Which is true for some guys. However, with these guys it's not that they only want one thing but rather there is only one thing that these specific girls have that is worth some value. So, for girls that the only thing they have that is worth some value is their looks, they're going to end up with guys that either only want one thing or end up with guys that aren't going to pass up sex but avoid a meaningful relationship at all cost. I see this from both sexes, as there are plenty of women that will stay with assholes just because the sex is good, but the topic here is about men and their standards so. . .

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  • My stands are " spiritual, wise, respectful, loving and patient " 1st step. 2nd step gets harder and harder as this level most girls i been with fail. Dont care how you look like, i dont care what you do. Who you are at your core is what im looking for and it can't be faked.

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  • I'll be brutally honest here. Women outnumber men at this point. Over the past 15 years I've observed that most smart men end up with female children. It's more shocking to me that you are just now noticing this.

    The ones that don't have standards are the men that need to die off. They will doom the human race, if they haven't already.

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    • I got a downvote, after what I said. I have a few theories on your purpose. I'd rather discuss this with the one that decided to disagree.

  • a lot of women get mad when we expect them to be a certain way, to fit some requirements we desire in a partner. But yet they have no problem telling us how to think and act and speak. Its very annoying and hypocritical. They have more requirements and preferences than we do!

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  • Thats because most guys choose a girl with the idea "Its just a hook up and we will see" while most girls choose with this in mind "i must make sure he is the right guy first and not a player".
    You girls would be surprised if you knew how picky we are in the long run.

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  • They got me at converting to vegan. Lol I love my steaks and burgers , there’s no way... the way the traits were described was like asking if I wanted to marry a pretty girl but cut my junk off. lol no deal for any of them

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  • Buckle up if you're a snowflake. Here's the definitive guide:

    If she's hot and has a great personality, she can take her pick and will be married quickly

    If she's hot, but has a crap personality, she's gonna end up bitching about how all men are fuckboys and only want sex.

    If she's ugly with a great personality, she's not necessarily gonna get her dream guy, but she'll find someone to marry

    This is a general guideline for a sliding scale, but you get the idea. Looks determines sexual attraction. Personality determines suitability for the long term.

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  • there's a misunderstanding that seems to come to life, i'd like to put it straight:
    there's a firs selection on looks and a second one on personality.
    but.
    looks alone would only be a sole preference if we only want sex.
    and the selective level is less high on looks than what most people think, a 7 can be more worthy sexy etc if she has a good personality and ability to pairbond.

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  • Some girls think we will give up and sacrifice everything for them, or at least that we should. (I mean like our values and standards.)

    I think it's wrong for women to do that, and I would stay away from someone who tried to do it to me.

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  • I'm glad you asked this.

    It's given me a new perspective on something I was told last year.

    You're absolutely correct to identify this as bizarre. Why the hell would we not have personality standards? What could really be more important?

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  • I seriously dislike most of the personalities that were listed in that post.
    The first one would be annoying, the second very annoying, and the rest I would really despise those kinds of people.

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  • You mean... we're allowed to have standards?
    media.giphy.com/media/ccosx2jCejdew/giphy.gif

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  • Because many women consider that they have the right to have high standards, but men don't have the right to reject any women. Even more today where the "all bodies are beautiful" bullshit is going strong.

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  • Yeah some women have become so self absorbed that they think their looks are so good that they should be worshipped and that it is a gift in it's self.

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  • Because looks matter the first and the most. That ^ list that that chick made is completely pointless for that reason-- all the girls are hot/pretty. Therefore it's not really a contest that matters.

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  • Lots of women assume all we want is looks and sex, but we like companionship as much as any woman does.

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  • There's a big difference for me to who I'd fuck and who I'd be in a relationship with. I don't mess around if I want a relationship with a woman. I don't want a companion or someone to be with to fix loneliness. But someone I'm hoping I see the potential in to spend the rest of my life with. That means her personality is very important to go with her appearance. She has to be a great match for me, and who I love and so many qualities. I'm and I'm sure other guys are so much pickier with a woman they want a relationship with compared to simpy desire sexually.

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  • Because on the internet there are a lot of fuck boys who only want sex they're on every dating app as well from what I've heard and it's not super hard to find them in daily life either this is a case of a lot of bad apples spoiled the bunch

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  • Because, as has been proven time and time again, the majority of women on this forum know NOTHING about men.

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  • Physical attractiveness is non-negotiable for guys. A woman MUST meet a minimum standard, but that standard is different for all guys. For most of us, the standard isn't really that high.

    The women in that question are all super hot, well above the level for 90% of guys.

    Thing is, once that physical attractiveness is met, the personality is paramount. Nobody wants to be with someone they don't like.

    I think for women the opposite is true. Personality, social value, are the number one thing. A guy can be super hot, but if he's a dork he's going to struggle, while an ugly guy with a great personality can do OK.

    Once that social value box is checked, then girls look for other things, height, weight, hair, overall attractiveness.

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  • Women often have no idea when it comes to that stuff. They think their looks can make up for their shitty personality.

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  • Not to me, I've been preaching that on my soapbox :)

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  • Bc that's all women care about and women think they are equal to men or that men and women are the same and think the same.

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  • In my opinion what I go for would be personality then looks. Sometimes the look doesn’t match the personality that’s.

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  • A lot of woman think of men as dumb emotionless bits of meat designed too drool over them and pamper them...

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  • I don't think it's bad to have standard, especially if you're planning to marry the person

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  • Because feminist lies and bullshit are culturally pervasive worldwide.

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  • Because of feminism and double standards. When I used to do online dating, women used to chew me out all the time for saying the following:

    -I have a college degree, and I expect you to have one too.

    -I have no kids, and I don't plan on having kids until my financial status and career are where they need to be, and I expect the same of you too.

    -I have a car, a job and an apartment, and I expect the same from you too.

    -I got to the gym and take care of my body and I expect the same from you too.

    I didn't quite say it like that, but I was making my standards known to women. I want a woman with a college education (or working on one), takes care of herself, has her own car and her own place. However, when women saw my profile, they would tell me I am wrong or that I'm a petty and disgusting man.

    So, basically, as a man, I'm only allowed to want pretty women, no matter what their life situation is.

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    • Nah, you're not even allowed to want pretty women because that would make you shallow. You have to accept them for who they are, standards be damned.

    • @JSmuve You right. Lol. It's a sad world we live in, man. Women only want equality when it benefits them.

  • Eh, sometimes people feel looks matter more than they do.

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