Is it fair to ask if she is having sex with other guys?

I recently started seeing a woman that I am interested in getting to know better. My divorce has shattered self confidence. I have barely even attempted to date, and had almost zero sex in five years.
Things are going well with her and I ended up spending the night at her place last night. We had talked about it some, and she was ready to have sex. I tried, but my head was just not in it. I suspect she is dating other men (which is fine as we aren't exclusive) but I don't want to start having sex with her if she is having sex with other guys. How do I bring this up?
Should I even bother asking her? I've effectively removed myself from the pool for five years and I'm ready to date, but I don't want to be a sucker.


Most Helpful Girls

  • Just ask her outright in a none accusatory manner and if she’s normal there’ll be no problem. In fact she may even be glad you bought it up.

  • Ask her if she wants to be exclusive


Most Helpful Guys

  • In today's day and age mate, she is most definitely having sex with other men.
    I would strongly suggest removing yourself from the dating pool and focusing on you. Heal you first.

  • You don't need to ask her... you are never the only one. They always have a backup, keep their options open, and are always looking to trade up. Even the ones in long term, committed relationships.

    • very true. women have a bunch of men orbiting around them.

    • Show All
    • Men's bodywash... the fact that it is there perhaps suggests quite a regular thing. To be honest, I wouldn't advise any sex with her without knowing her history. It's too risky nowadays with all that's around. Did you know anything about her sex health before the sex almost happened?

    • No, and I'm trying to figure out everything without asking her because I don't want to come off like I'm her boss and she owes me an explanation. I know she was married almost twenty years and has been divorced for a year. It's likely going to come down to me asking her at some point.

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