Most Helpful Guys
Good to see that I am the majority. First of all don't get depressed, nothing wrong in wanting a cute perfect guy.
To get a guy you have to understand how our mind works, all men are different but there is a basic template.
- Guy's 1st impression on a girl is her looks (bar none), all guys look for this 1st, anyone says otherwise is lying. So my suggestion to you is get a polished look, you don't need to wear makeup, wear decent clothes, put on a hair style that suits you the most.
-It's hard to change if you are introvert. I am introvert myself, I am actually good looking, but I had only approached to girls who were friendly and shown interest on me, or took the courage to speak with me. So the guys you are chasing may either be introvert or interested in girls who has shown interest.
May be try to be more social, try to hit up a convo, I am sure the most decent ones will talk back.
3. Looks does the first impression, it doesn't last long, but if you are witty, playful knowlegable on what guy's actually like (may be games, movies, trends, music) you will get his attention and it will be a lasting one, the looks will become secondary.
3. Getting attracted to a guy because of his physical features is normal but don't put it on the priority list. Because there are lots of great guys out there who are not attractive in the first place. But once you know them, they could be the real deal.
When it comes to looks, it's fine to have standards as long as they aren't unrealistic. You need to be attracted to them of course, but you shouldn't demand they be a model or something.
When it comes to personality though, you should 100% have high standards. If they creep you out at the beginning then chances are that won't change. And if you don't enjoy hanging out with them, what's the point? Again, your standars should be realistic, but if you don't think you'd want to become best friends with a person, it's even more unlikely that you'd want to become more than friends with them.
I've come to realize the hard truth though, and that is if I want to go out with someone I like, I have to take initiative myself. As a shy introvert just like you, I still haven't figured out how to do that without second guessing myself and bailing, but I'm working on it. If you also have this problem, I think that'd be a good place to start.
Best of luck!
Most Helpful Girls
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to your partner. Every relationship needs attraction, except for really rare cases. If you are setting your sights too high though you should reevaluate what you realistically expect to happen. If you have high standards you need to meet similar ones a high status partner would expect from yourself. You dont sound too bad, but should maybe look into accepting a little more, like giving them a chance if you won't go for the guys you do like.
One thing I notice is some women (not necessarily you) have some type of ideal cookie cutter guy idea in their head they won't back away from. Like a guy straight out of a romance novel who'll come and sweep them away, they just need to find him somewhere in the world. In reality a guy that charming already has tons of women chasing him and youd really need to compete the right way and meet his tastes to get him. If you read a lot and take the readings with a grain of salt you'll learn how to better go in a relationship and attract more people to you. For me, my rule of thumb for giving a guy a chance appearance wise is I can't be UNattrated to him. Like if you'd feel gross imagining intimate with them, that's a fair reason not to. Personality should always be the number one consideration for any healthy relationship though.
It’s not wrong to be selective. There are many guys out there, and not all of them are going to be right for you or you right for them. However to limit the possibility of being with someone amazing based on looks alone is not fair to them or to yourself as well. You can miss out on a really beautiful connection if you only worry that the man checks all of your boxes in terms of his appearances. Try to understand a person’s character and interests before automatically dismissing them.
As for being shy, that also can make your dating life more difficult. I was also fairly shy before, so I get it. Just know that when you finally meet someone you like who is right for you, you will feel comfortable and at ease whenever you are around them.